Every year for Halloween my girlfriend and I plan a nice fun weekend in. We’ll carve pumpkins, buy some nice food and snacks then both choose a horror movie or two to watch and play some horror video games on both Saturday and Sunday. This year we were planning to do the same thing.
We’d talked about possible horror movies to choose and what horror games to play. My girlfriend then suggested inviting her cousin.
I get on with her cousin so I didn’t mind. I know her cousin loves Halloween and horror movies etc so I thought it would be fun.
My girlfriend then says we’ll have to not choose horror movies and choose other Halloween themed movies. I asked why and she said it’s because her cousin is 16.
I pointed out that her cousin loves horror movies and had seen a lot anyway. I mentioned that she’s seen at least one of the one we were talking about watching but my girlfriend said on and that we wouldn’t be able to play the horror games either.
I said if that’s how it’s going to be then I’d rather she didn’t invite her cousin and that we all just do something another time instead of pretty much cancelling our Halloween plan.
She got annoyed at this and said it’s not a big deal but I told her it was to me when she’s happy to just completely change what we were doing and expect me to be fine with it.
I asked why she won’t put horror movies on when her cousin is there since her cousin watches them anyway and she just said she doesn’t think we should but refused to give an actual reason.
AITA for expecting us to keep our original Halloween plans?
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Every year for Halloween my girlfriend and I plan a nice fun weekend in. We’ll carve pumpkins, buy some nice food and snacks then both choose a horror movie or two to watch and play some horror video games on both Saturday and Sunday. This year we were planning to do the same thing.
We’d talked about possible horror movies to choose and what horror games to play. My girlfriend then suggested inviting her cousin.
I get on with her cousin so I didn’t mind. I know her cousin loves Halloween and horror movies etc so I thought it would be fun.
My girlfriend then says we’ll have to not choose horror movies and choose other Halloween themed movies. I asked why and she said it’s because her cousin is 16.
I pointed out that her cousin loves horror movies and had seen a lot anyway. I mentioned that she’s seen at least one of the one we were talking about watching but my girlfriend said on and that we wouldn’t be able to play the horror games either.
I said if that’s how it’s going to be then I’d rather she didn’t invite her cousin and that we all just do something another time instead of pretty much cancelling our Halloween plan.
She got annoyed at this and said it’s not a big deal but I told her it was to me when she’s happy to just completely change what we were doing and expect me to be fine with it.
I asked why she won’t put horror movies on when her cousin is there since her cousin watches them anyway and she just said she doesn’t think we should but refused to give an actual reason.
AITA for expecting us to keep our original Halloween plans?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Expected us to keep our Halloween plans and not completely change them.
My partner said it was no big deal and I should be fine changing plans and having her cousin join us
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Nobody’s the asshole here.
This just sounds like a conversation you need to have. She wants to invite your cousin, you want to keep your original plans.
Unless you insulted her while doing it, or vice versa, I don’t see how anyone qualified as an asshole.
Nobody’s TA imo. It’s a tough one though, of course you’d want to keep your original plans because it’s a nice tradition just you and her, but on her side it’s understandable that she doesn’t want a 16 yo to watch scary movies or play scary games, maybe the cousin’s parents have said something about not wanting them to see it?
NTA aren’t most horror movies rated 15 anyway? (I’m in the UK I don’t know what your ratings are in the US I know they are different.)
Though admittedly all the horror games I have played are rated 18 but it’s not like that’s a legal thing except for selling them, it’s just recommended. It’s not like you’re gonna get pissed up I don’t see what your girlfriend’s problem is tbh.
Is it possible your partner wants to do something different this year and is using her cousin as an excuse because she for some reason cant tell you she wants a change?
Morally you’d certainly be NTA if you refused to cancel the original plans, but practically you probably don’t have that option. Rightly or wrongly if your gf is upset with you then you’re not going to have a nice time – you can’t force her to participate and enjoy it.
I’m not sure there’s a great solution here. You can either cave in completely (not ideal), you can veto the cousin coming and probably have a bad time with your gf (also not ideal), opt out entirely and make plans without your gf (very not ideal and possibly relationship ending), or contact the cousin directly and invite them over for a horror marathon and then just deal with the fallout.
I think about the only real hope here is to tell your girlfriend that you’re really hurt and sad that she can’t talk honestly with you about this, and try to guilt her into a proper discussion. Any other way of pushing her is just going to make her more annoyed and you look more like the bad guy.
You’re NTA. It makes sense to want to keep your Halloween plans the way you both enjoy them. Your girlfriend is the one changing everything without a clear reason. Maybe you two can compromise, but it’s fair to want your fun weekend the way you planned.