Hi, throwaway.
Situation involves
Me m 23 Scottish, black.
My friend Sarah, 25 Scottish and white,. Tam m 23 Scottish white (my best mate.) Sarah’s pal Amber, 20’s something white / Mexican American,
and her pal 30’s ? Darla, African American. My wee sister jay. 19. (My step mums daughter)
All names have even changed for privacy.
Long story short , couple weeks ago Amber came to visit Sarah and brought Darla with her. Which was fine: Darla really wanted to meet me because of some Scottish TikTok’s going viral. And that’s fine, a little, weird, but it is what it is.
A few things happen that weirded me out.
The second we met; she screamed and jumped into my arms. I have never met or spoken to this woman in my life. Amber told her to take it easy, and she seemed to calm down,
We got to drinking and talking and all she kept asking me was what it was like to be African Scottish, if we had black owned businesses and black only schools etc
I told her that I’m just Scottish and happen to be black. of course I know my heritage but we don’t go around calling ourselves black or African Scottish, it’s just not a thing here.
All through the night she kept interrupting Sarah and wouldn’t let her speak, If Sarah and I were sitting together and Sarah had to get up she kept taking her spot.
Amber and Darla went to the shop to get some messages, and when they came back about 40 minutes later Darla asked to use the toilet, not ten minutes later I hear her and my sister screaming. we all get up and fo see what the issue is, and Darla has my wee sister cornered in my bedroom yelling about how she found some “white bitch.” Going through my stuff.
Jay is white, her mum is my step mum.
And she was grabbing her charger that I borrowed.
Eventually Darla and Amber left and jay and I and I put her behaviour down to the ammount of booze she consumed.
Couple days later. Her and Amber show back up at my place just as tam and I are heading to his cousins wedding. We’re both in kilts, I have braids in and so does Tam, and the first thing out of Darla’s mouth is how she’s “sick of white people stealing her culture.” And actually demanded he take it out.
I lost it; told her that she is the mos racist person I’ve ever met in my life. All she talks about is being black, all she complained about is white people. I told her she doesn’t get to come to my country and try to create a racial divide when there isn’t one. She doesn’t get to tell me, a Scottish black man what my life is like in my own fuckin country:
She started going on about how I’m choosing ‘them’ over my “own people’ and I told her get the fuck away from my house with her BS.
She’s been posting on fb about how rude we are and has tagged Sarah in several posts claiming she’s racist. Sarah didn’t say a thing to her, it was me. And while I don’t think I was wrong for what I said, I feel bad that Sarah and ambers township has been affected.
Comments
NTA. Sounds like her whole live revolves around her ethnicity.
Yeah unfortunately this is par for the course in many circles around the US. You’ll get mixed opinions on this but the reality is you’re correct. Your country doesn’t have the history/racial connotations the US does. She’s completely wrong to come in and expect everyone to see things her way.
Which is indeed racist and toxic but, that’s another topic. If you were around during Reddits BLM kick, Reddit quite literally took the same stance as your friend for a while. At one point being racist towards white people was explicitly allowed within the rules of the Community Guidelines…
NTA.
NTA but racism in America is on another level which breeds assholes like this woman
This 100% feels fake af.
Yeah I went to America in 2009 or 10. Had some conversations with locals and tried to explain that if you’re a 3rd or 5th generation of your family that emigrated years ago you are not African or Irish or Scottish. But it really seems to be a big deal for some people to present as something they are not.
If you’re the 5th Gen of your family in America, you’re just an American no matter your heritage or skin.
jfc, that woman sounds hard work and toxic. im mixed scottish too, look not white, so to say, but I am scottish 100%. I can’t be done with race baiters. and it’s funny you’ve comes across one in rl. Normally, I’m told these people dont exist and are made up by the far right.
Sounds like you want a medal or something.
I mean, it feeds all my prejudices about Americans, but I ‘m going for popcorn, as I think it’s a wind-up…
(And for the non-Scots who walk amongst us, messages in this context is just bits and bobs from the local shop – bread, cheese, pringles, that kind of stuff…)
She’s bringing her American views into something that is very different in the UK. There are still issues but they are not the same and to assume that there would be black only schools / businesses here just because there are in the US is insensitive and rude. Good on you for challenging her.
YTA for this fake story… I missed when this sub was somewhat genuine
NTA. Some people think by dividing us more they are fighting racism somehow. Sometimes completely independent cultures converge and come up with similar ideas. Its not hard to believe that both Europeans and Africans started braiding hair at some point in history without getting the idea from the other. Same with symbols like the swastika. Similar symbols were found in Ukraine, India, north America etc. Once a culture starts to write or draw making a pinwheel shaped design is a pretty basic thing and most likely coincidence.
That’s the problem with lefty lunatics
NTA Shes being a professional Victim, and lmao “Your People” are scottish not whatever race bait shes trying to make it
This story is fake. Nice try though.
NTA.
She’s ignorant. As in, uneducated and unaware.
NTA. It’s pretty common these days tbh.
NTA I’ve dropped a couple African American friends that have gotten like that. Just no need for it.
I feel so vindicated. I was literally calling a woman on here racist just yesterday for essentially the same shit and I got brigaded for it. American black folks in general really do view their skin color in a radical light as opposed to black folks from anywhere else in the world. It’s strange and sad, because they all insist American whites are the racist ones.
NTA. If this is real I genuinely feel kinda bad for her. Like she had an opportunity to leave behind the American conception of race for a little while and have a small break (which I’m guessing she needs). She seems like she’s making herself miserable.
NTA Black Americans are often like this due to how it is here in America. Some can’t bring themselves to accept it isn’t like this for every black person living in other “white countries”.
I’m mixed so I understand what she’s talking about, but Black Americans do make things a lot about them when it doesn’t really relate or is just a stress of its relation. I’ve never liked the mindset of choosing others over our “own people” . I think it’s stupid and outdated and holds us back as a society. Just because someone else is black and i’m black doesn’t mean i’m gonna just go with everything they do and say. those were the girls that bullied me in school for not looking black enough, deciding themselves that I shouldn’t partake in the “culture” because it wasn’t really mine.
I used to think majority of Black people weren’t like this, as I got older it came more apparent. You can’t just hate white people and be opposing to them because of history. What’s in our history is disturbing and evil, but we should be pushing to educate the truth and make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Sounds like a typical American victim.
NTA. Anyone can be racist. Good on you for calling it out.
Good reversed racism story, bro /s
You should seduce and asleep with Amber, then break up with her after she catches feelings. Tell her you can never see yourself with a racist. This is the way.
I don’t think she understands that being Scottish Black isn’t being American Black, and that she’s trying to hijack your culture, demanding that you bend to hers.
And even then, she doesn’t sound like a typical American. Sounds like she has a fantasy of how things should be, that mostly lack accountability by making the world’s problems the problems of other people imposing on her.
Nobody can tell her, but the rest of the world doesn’t know she exists, and doesn’t really care much about her opinions or biases, because life is hard, and they’re dealing with their own struggles.
As if African people were the only ones in the world happen to have braids in their hair.
Some colored people (no matter what the origin is) are so damn out of their mind….
I think when she grew up in a culture where she could literally be shot by cops on any given day due to her race, where she has to work 3x harder or keep quiet instead of complaining about white coworkers, where she didn’t even know her heritage due to slavery erasing her history, race defined her existence, it informed her how to survive, not thrive but just simply survive in America, she’s going to be fascinated by black people in white countries who do not live the same reality. She, quite frankly, sounds traumatized.
NTA always call out racism in any of it’s forms
Account age, 1 hour. And this is 100% a white person giving other white people their chance to be racist.
Also racism against white people doesn’t exist. Prejudice? Yes. Being a total asshole? Absolutely. But the power structures of the world dictate racism against white people don’t exist.
Bring on the downvotes. And go on off to feel better white folks. I’m muting this.
I’ve seen the same things in life.
NTA, not so long ago I had a similar encounter with an African American. I’m “white” and Chilean, and this person insisted on the fact that I’m not latino (to which I replied, yes, I’m chilean, latino is a gringo thing). Then he came at me saying that I don’t look Chilean, bla bla bla. It was a nightmare. Eventually he called me racist for saying that we don’t care about race categories, we’re all chilean and that’s it.
Im so glad you shared this. Im bi racial and have a social science degree. Ive lived in every region of the US and recently in the south. Its shocking how obsessed people aree with w/ race and ignorant they are on its distinction from ethnicity and nationality. Its disturbing how poltical and cultural divides have shaped generations here.
NTA obviously not every country is gonna operate the same way ESPECIALLY when comparing them to America.
This is America…
Yeah this kind of behavior might fly in America, but not anywhere else.
NTA
Either this didn’t really happen or Darla is mentally handicapped because who jumps in a strangers arms lol
NTA for calling her out because that’s weird behavior, but also you actually can’t be racist to white people. I would tell her that she needs to understand where she is and that not every country runs the same as where she is from so she doesn’t want to ruin the ability to create a connection with someone before she actually gets the chance to try to connect with someone. I’d honestly tell her that she needs to talk to someone about her racial trauma because if she’s going to travel the world, she is going to have to be able to be adaptable wherever she is. Because wherever she is in the world that place isn’t going to change to suit her. **And for anyone who does have a question about how you can’t be racist to white people racism includes a power system. Saying you don’t like a group of people has nothing to do with power. It’s actually more prejudiced which we don’t often use because it doesn’t feel as powerful as calling someone racist.
You’re NTA. I think it says a lot about the manners of that particular person. Whatever she privately thinks, it’s was really rude behavior.
I embrace your humanism, it’s easy to be racist. But when a family member says some stuff you can’t abide you realize it’s not a skin color condition it’s a human condition. We eviscerated actual different races of humans and resulted to a skin color distinction.
Fellow Scot hello!
This woman is so peculiar. Im a white 14 year old boy so I have no idea what her experiences are like but this is…strange.
I get that it’s bad in America and thats ehy she thinks this way so mahbe Scotland is a culture shock (we still have racism tho Im pretty sure it’s not as much as America) but this is actually crazy shit. Did she think Jay fucking broke in? The fuck?
NTA hope the wedding was fun!
The video about the weather when the schools go back? Loved it!
She sounds awful. NTA at all.
NTA. What a disrespectful and insufferable woman, sadly that is that norm with that population.