I’ve been trying to convince my mom that my MIL isn’t bananas, but every time I do this since I got pregnant, she does something bizarre again. She’s very nice and nothing is truly malicious, but it just drives me nutty sometimes.
Past hits: “announcing” she’s coming to visit when the baby is exactly due without asking (I gave her an unequivocal “no”), trying to plan a second baby shower without my consent, “announcing” she’s visiting my parents without asking, changing her placecard at the baby shower (which was a seated lunch), trying to leave the baby shower early for no reason, managing the bathroom for ppl at the shower (just, why? Why?)…
The latest is that she texted my mom that shes glad we have a “backup plan” for care when the baby comes and that I’ve been considering a nanny.
I legitimately have no idea what she’s talking about. My mom then calls me to say what in the world is she talking about? So now there’s something else to clear up: the only time I mentioned a nanny was when said if I go back to work in 1-2 YEARS and that most likely I’d be looking at daycare. There is no “backup plan” for when the baby comes? Just me and my husband?
There’s always something just ever so slightly bizarre that’s going on since I got pregnant.
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL!
I’m botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!
^(To be notified as soon as Wise_Regular_8792 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe Wise_Regular8792 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
Your MIL is bananas, and a control freak. Stop gaslighting your mom. A lot of JNs are triggered by big life events and it can unleash increasingly worse behavior. I would stop telling her things she doesn’t need to know about and buckle up for after the baby is born. Good thing you are already good at saying no.
People can get weird during life events. They get excited! They have wishful thinking! You said mil is nice, and I hope she will remain so. You seem capable of setting expectations (boundaries!) and putting your foot down as needed. If your husband agrees, you may be tested, but won’t be bulldozed as so many people are on this sub/r. Congratulations and best hopes for your new arrival.