My partner is often on a mission to make me cum as many times as possible. I love it, but not always in the moment. We’ve been together 15 years so he knows that when I say no or enough, that’s when he should really go to town. When he checks in on me after we do it, of course I always say it felt good so he continues the same pattern. I’ve never regretted after the act, I’m more than satisfied, but it’s pretty intense during. I’ve had moments where I bawled out crying mid sex, not from pain, but from the intensity. My brain turns to mush, I can’t think or form words, just feel, and it feels like I’ve loss control of myself.
I know it seems like a good problem to have but I’m scared I’ll have urinary incontinence or vaginal prolapse when I’m older (especially since he keeps going until I squirt). I do kegel exercises and gotten my pelvic floor examined and I’ve been told there’s no concern. Sometimes it feels like I can still feel him inside me the next day, or my insides would feel sore for one-two days after. I often wonder if this much intensity is bad for my body?
Has anyone had problems down the line from having intense orgasm/sex ?
Edit: We do have a safe word! I just don’t use it often because 1) I’m used to the type of sex we have 2) I didn’t know if there IS a physical concern if we keep going at it the same way3) As I mentioned, i love it and I NEVER regretted after sex. I’ve definitely asked him to stop/pushed him off mid sex to catch a breath or if it’s too much/or if it gets painful. I do appreciate everyone’s input, my main concern is if anyone has experiences of potential issues with continuous strenuous sex, seems like some missed this point though.
If there was no risk or issues, I wouldn’t really want to stop it. Like I said, I’m more than satisfied. I’ve discussed these concerns with my partner, I’m not afraid of communicating this with him but obviously doesn’t know a woman’s body first hand, hence I’m asking here.
Comments
It sounds like y’all need a safe word, if you don’t have one already. Just so you both are absolutely clear when things have shifted beyond “the moment,” and that you’re no longer feeling safe or sexy, either because it’s become too intense, or because something feels physically wrong.
Safe word. I feel sore the next day+ too. Maybe that’s normal? Like fatigued after exercise.
Shiiiiiiiit. We can trade.
[removed]
Apologies for being so blunt. It seems like your partner is more interested in the pleasure he gets from forcing orgasms out of you than your well-being and safety. Just because it feels good, doesn’t mean it’s ok. Especially if it leaves you super worried and anxious about it.
I’m not saying this configures abuse, but victims sometimes get torn over what’s abuse because they felt pleasure. Like guys can’t have been raped if they had an erection. Forcing non consented pleasure IS abuse.
If your partner doesn’t know (or want to know) when to stop and has learned that “stop” is encouragement, how are you able to stop it if you need to? Are you not allowed to? Have you agreed to not having any control over your body and pleasure?
20 years plus of rough sex with my partner. Most of it my idea. The topic comes up with my lady doctor, she doesn’t see any problems but does recommend women my age do pelvic floor exercises. Mine connects to the phone. I play flappybirds with it.
As for the consensual non-consent stuff, it’s my bread and butter. But it’s important to have a good safe word. Just don’t be like me sometimes who has too good of a time and go from having fun to forgetting what words are.
Other people have said to get a safe word, so that’s covered. Ummmm I mean if you don’t have any issues with UTIs or tissue damage, then there’s no problem. Maybe you should choose to not be so rough frequently, and space that out. To avoid injuries
TBH yeah, more incontinence is noticeable after years of rough sex & being a squirter. My friend said the same is true for her out of the blue and I was like thank god it’s not just me (neither of us have had a pregnancy so that’s ruled out just to clarify)
I still like it but I don’t buy a drink at the movie theater 😌✨
Oof. Rarely do I see something I’ve experienced dead on and almost as long. My longest ex was a sexual narcissist and had to fulfill some stupid ego achievement sidequest every time.
your insecurity shouldn’t be overstimulating and unpleasant, y’know, let me sleep
the bloom was soo off the demi
I’ve had rough sex all my life but with my current partner my libido is through the roof and so we go a bit overboard sometimes… like several sessions in a day and I am just wrecked the day after. I find what helps is taking a few days to a week off and doing pelvic floor excercises at the end. Pelvic floor therapy is something all women should do at some point in life, I’m a firm believer in that because they can educate you on keeping everything healthy and strong.
Enjoy it while it lasts, what you have is rare, majority of relationships have dead bedrooms
You’re traumatizing your body with some of that play. It could be like a good workout and healthy but some of it will cause fatigue. Better safe than sorry and to make the intense play for special times. After 15 years, people tend to mellow out and have a different intense sex.
Get a safe word. I don’t think too much sex is going to ruin you, at least I’ve never, ever heard of it.
I hope not because it sounds like an amazing time!
Like others are saying, start using a safe word. Also you can try implementing the stop light system.
Green: Everything is good keep going
Yellow: Slow down or move on to a different position
*Red: Stop, I need a break or I’m uncomfortable with what’s going on.
Okay I don’t mean to scare you and idk if it could happen to other people but I had really intense sex while unknowingly having an ovarian cyst – I hemorrhaged the cyst, didn’t know, bled internally for 24 hours before going to the hospital and then had to get emergency surgery and a blood transfusion. This actually happened to me twice 😭
I likely have PCOS, but from what I understand every woman gets ovarian cysts as a normal part of their ovulation cycle, so I would be aware of having sex during certain times of your cycle and be aware of any abdominal pain!
I think you are already doing good. Yes, there are some physical health concerns – thats why you should do kegel exercises and the like. Its not a difficult topic to research, so Id advise you to google and find out what else you could do.
And well~ women can handle a pregnancy. It’s very difficult to approach that level of physical stress down there via rough sex. There may be some minor incontinence issues down the line, but nothing that couldnt happen to anyone. You doing some exercises should already help your body a lot.
No, this is not a risk to your physical health.
You’re making up problems that don’t exist. Enjoy the intensity while it lasts.