How do I not feel nervous when I talk to women?

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I (23M) want to have a lot of confidence whenever I interact with women. I don’t want it to be like I’m in middle/high school again, where I’m speechless and can’t get the words out.

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    I (23M) want to have a lot of confidence whenever I interact with women. I don’t want it to be like I’m in middle/high school again, where I’m speechless and can’t get the words out.

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  2. Disaster1992 Avatar

    Focus on the conversation instead of the emotions

  3. PM_Me_some_boobs69 Avatar

    Just like getting better at anything in life: keep doing it and eventually you’ll get better at it

  4. Local-Answer9357 Avatar

    Practice makes perfect. Plus, something i’m starting to accept is, you shouldn’t be able to say something wrong to someone if they’re really a person you want to be with (unless it’s offensive or hurtful). If you start talking about your level 8 paladin with a monkey companion in dnd and she’s like “wow what a fucking nerd im not talking to him” then she isn’t worth your time in the first place. Find the person who wants to know your monkeys name, or whatever else interests you, and most importantly , do the same for them. If they’re into music played on cardboard box guitars, you ask about it.

  5. Remarkable-Total-641 Avatar

    Throw yourself into the ocean sink or swim style. If you’re nervous a lot of times women will get nervous as well. Also it’s important to spot when a woman just does not want to talk to YOU. Don’t double down and force through the conversation just walk away.

    Oh for the speech thing read aloud for about 4 hours minimum.

  6. Kreynard54 Avatar

    Talk to women over and over until you learn to not give a shit and that theyre just people like you.

    Seriously. To get over my fear when I was younger my buddy and I made a game of it of who can get rejected the most. We ended up purposely coming up with stupid pick up lines that we knew wouldnt work so we could intentionally in against each other.

    You also realize at some point it doesnt matter what you say, if a girl is into you she will laugh no matter how stupid it is. Granted they were a bit spaced out but it ended up being a funny story.

  7. Inevitable_Fee5030 Avatar

    Take some good pictures, install a dating app, match as much as you can even with women not your type, you’re matching not to date , yet to have a conversation and learn how to flirt and to learn how to talk and what’s the things that all women love and have in common and what would you avoid.

    Hit the gym , read books , learn how to be emotionally intelligent , learn how to be a gentleman and earn money to build that confidence . To feel like you’re the prize and any girl dating you is Lucky .

  8. Active-Pudding9855 Avatar

    Tbh you have to like yourself, be confident in yourself first. So concentrate on doing things that would make you like yourself more. Going to the gym, getting a better haircut, practicing smiling/winking in the mirror. Reading out loud is also a really good skill to practice/learn how you sound. Good luck! You can do it! 💪

  9. chodge89 Avatar

    Try to depressurize the situation by treating them as people (they are!). I guess you’re talking specifically about talking to women that you want to start a deeper relationship with? In that case, don’t dwell too long on the ones that don’t work out.

  10. DealDispatch Avatar

    Remember that women are human just like you, so don’t give the matter too much importance. Talk to women at university to break the barrier, build your confidence through sports and developing a career, and accept rejection , it’s completely normal.

  11. WanabeInflatable Avatar
    1. Practice

    2. DGAF attitude. The less you care, less nervous you are. In the game of seduction there is only one rule: never fall in love (c)

  12. No_Service3462 Avatar

    How are you incapable of talking to women period…..

  13. Hairless_Ape_ Avatar

    Liquor. This has been the answer for centuries.

  14. El-Terrible777 Avatar

    Tell yourself you don’t care what she thinks of you and picture her as a long time friend. Focus on smiling, relaxed body language and ask questions to put the onus on her to talk to start with. Women love a guy who genuinely seems interested and this will not put pressure on you to drive the conversation right away.

  15. pbroingu Avatar

    Don’t put them on a pedestal, you need to see them as just normal people instead. You can do this by simply existing around them, having female friends or talking to them platonically. Soon, they won’t seem intimidating and you can ease up around them.

    Or a shortcut, just imagine them taking a massive shit. That’ll take em down a notch pretty quickly.

  16. RobinGood94 Avatar

    Zoom in on the actual substance of the conversation and don’t think about how you’re being perceived.

  17. One-Camp-110 Avatar

    realise that you have no chance. when there is nothing to mess up there is nothing to worry about.

  18. antixwick999 Avatar

    Just stop giving an f about what they think of you..

  19. brooksie1131 Avatar

    That’s my secret I am always anxious so i am never anxious. But on a serious note I think being nervous usually comes from fear of failure. Stop caring about failure and generally the nervousness goes away. If you become fine with failure then you have nothing to fear. Granted I have never had nervousness when talking to women so I wouldn’t know. Had alot of female friends growing up so I was always very comfortable talking with women. 

  20. UnknownBaron Avatar

    Talk more times to women and be comfortable with yourself

  21. Ratsofat Avatar

    You’re nervous because you’re worried about outcomes and possibilities. You’re an adult talking to another adult about whatever topic of conversation – nothing more, nothing less. Don’t worry about what could happen and focus on the conversation.

  22. godzill007 Avatar

    Personally its person to person i feel really confident and i can talking to any women without getting nervous for me what really helped is breaking the fear i approached to talk even when i was nervous or she thought I’m a freak just break your limiting beliefs

  23. dtdrh Avatar

    You just gotta do some exposure therapy. Go up to random women and ask for directions (even if you know where you’re going), if you’re stuck in an elevator then try and make small talk, ask how your cashier/waitress/barista is doing, things like that. It feels daunting at first, but eventually you realize they’re just normal people and aren’t that scary when you’re not putting them on a pedestal.

  24. WinsAtCarnivals Avatar

    Realize that nobody should have that much power over you. 

  25. eastvalleypapi Avatar

    Talk to lots of women…

  26. Dos-Commas Avatar

    Talk to and befriend women that you are not attracted to.

  27. Mini_groot Avatar

    Cuz you are results oriented.