So a few years ago I met a friend through work. We talked and joked around at work and became close friends. I helped him through some struggles and he was there when I needed to vent. We hung out a lot and shared a few drinks. Last Saturday he voice messaged me in tears saying he was coming back from camping (he had been drinking) and was going to shoot his then himself. I tried talking him down but was having no luck so I tried reaching out to his parents but couldn’t get a hold of them. So I ended up calling the police as I was unable to drive as I had been drinking at home and was unfit to drive. The police managed to meet him at his house and he was put into custody of his mother as opposed to going to the hospital. He barely replied for the first few messages and now has ghosted me. We were supposed to get a place together but im guessing thats no longer happening. So AITA for reporting him to the police which effectively ended our friendship?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
So a few years ago I met a friend through work. We talked and joked around at work and became close friends. I helped him through some struggles and he was there when I needed to vent. We hung out a lot and shared a few drinks. Last Saturday he voice messaged me in tears saying he was coming back from camping (he had been drinking) and was going to shoot his then himself. I tried talking him down but was having no luck so I tried reaching out to his parents but couldn’t get a hold of them. So I ended up calling the police as I was unable to drive as I had been drinking at home and was unfit to drive. The police managed to meet him at his house and he was put into custody of his mother as opposed to going to the hospital. He barely replied for the first few messages and now has ghosted me. We were supposed to get a place together but im guessing thats no longer happening. So AITA for reporting him to the police which effectively ended our friendship?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Because I feel like an asshole for ruining his life by reporting he was suicidal to the police who then notified his parents
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
He was going to shoot his dog then himself
NTA. Better a former friend than a dead friend. Rest assured, him not talking to you is entirely about him and not at all about you. He’s got some stuff to sort through.
NTA.
Whether he intended to actually go through with this, was just attention seeking, or something else – you did the right thing. It’s hard for a lot of people who are so deep in a mental health crisis to see that the road out can be tough, but you absolutely did the right thing in calling someone. Next time, if you have the option in your area, I’d see if you have a crisis line instead of the police. If not, then you did what had to be done to keep him safe.
And OP, for your own wellbeing, maybe think about talking to someone. Being on the phone with someone in that state can affect you more than you might think.
Would you have preferred if he really did it?
NTA. You did what any sane, compassionate person would have done in that situation and his actions speak for themselves. You are a good friend but he isn’t being a good friend to you (whether he doesn’t want to, or isn’t able to, doesn’t matter).
Also, seriously bullet dodged on the roommate situation. Imagine living with someone this unstable. Hard no.
NTA. Prob for the best that you all are not living together as of the moment.
NTA. You literally saved his life. He may be upset or embarrassed now, but calling the police was the responsible and caring thing to do when you couldn’t get him help any other way. His ghosting isn’t your fault.
NTA – I’ve been in your shoes and did the same thing. You would never know if they really will or won’t and it’s never worth the risk. Take care of yourself…that’s such a troubling thing to experience. This situation usually comes with a lot of shame, guilt and other emotions on your friend’s side so try not to take his ghosting or any other comments to heart.
NTA
You feel bad because you may have lost a friend over this. But at least that friend is still alive. You would feel much worse if you had done nothing and your friend did take his own life.
nah, you did the right thing. if someone’s talking about ending it all, you gotta take that serious no matter what. he might be salty now, but you probably saved his life. NTA
fr, better to have him mad at you and alive than not here at all. sucks the friendship took a hit, but you weren’t the asshole for looking out.
NTA
Explanation aside, what an incredibly sad story. I hope your friend actually grows up and thanks you sometime in the future