It’s been like 2 days since my first post and so many people asked for an update and I definitely feel better when I get people’s advice but even before I made the post it had been maybe a week since the incident so I’ve had time to process everything since my post.
Anyways, I have had very limited contact with my dad since the situation, I started my fall classes on the 27th and before what happened I spoke to him everyday and told him about my classes but I’ve stopped and will only respond very small sentences if he texts me first because of how disgusted I am with him and I’m highly considering going no-contact.
Yesterday morning, I convinced my mom to reach out to her mom over Facebook as she’s obviously closer to her than I am which she did. To paraphrase the message she told her about the relationship and that the entire neighborhood knew of the relationship and how she’s concerned about the power dynamic as the timeline doesn’t make sense since it’s hard to go from cordial neighbors to having sex all within just a week. Her mom responded saying that she’d be disgusted if she found out that what my mom was saying was the truth and that she and her husband (Kira’s father) would look into it.
This morning my mom spoke to the woman who was the one that told her about the relationship and apparently there has been no peace in the neighborhood this morning and everyone’s talking about it apparently Kira’s dad and my dad had a veryyyy heated argument that ended with my dad storming away in his car, that Kira hasn’t been seen since yesterday afternoon and even this morning, and her car has been parked in the same spot all day. My mom texted Kira’s mom to ask about what happened after she got the news and Kira’s mom told her that she went through her phone when she fell asleep on the couch last night, everyone knows that Kira’s password is her birthday, and found messages that had subtle hints of flirting while she was still 16/17 but not enough to actually go to the police and say that they had a sexual relationship before her 18th birthday but two days after her party, my dad started sending her messages talking about how beautiful she looked which Kira thanked him for and sent a few flirty messages of her own, the messages turned sexual very fast and they went from texting each other about movies or Kira asking for advice on her car (before her birthday) to him asking her to do things to him and her happily accepting.
According to the neighbor, Kira’s dad went over to my dads place at around 6am and beat on his door until he answered, a lot of the people on that street have jobs or have kids that have school and it woke them all up. They argued, Kira’s dad shoved him and the HOA man came over and broke it up which is why my dad left. When I was getting ready for class at around 12 today, he texted me telling me that I didn’t have to get Kira’s parents involved as she was an adult and that we could’ve talked it out as adults, I told him that he was still my dad and I love him as the man that raised me but I’m gonna love him from a major distance as I can’t get it out of my head that he more than likely groomed this girl. He said that I took their entire relationship out of context and that Kira was a willing participant. I told him that if I was in her spot and he was her dad then he’d be pissed. He completely ignored that message and started a new conversation about how legal was legal and despite her parents interfering, Kira wasn’t gonna stop loving him and he wasn’t going to stop what he was doing because the parents of an adult got involved. (Not the exact words but it gets the point across.)
I told my mom about the conversation and she said that she’s sick thinking about the times Kira came over when we were a bit younger, maybe 16 and 13 and how he might’ve already been having ideas about her and how good she’d look when she turned 18. I don’t know when I’ll stop looking at my dad as a predator as I know how much I love the comfortable father/daughter relationship we had but I won’t allow him to normalize what he’s doing and can’t bring myself to even ask him what he’s gonna eat for dinner.
Once again thanks for the advice guys and as her parents are just finding out I’ll probably have more updates depending on what happens.
Comments
I realized that maybe I do add a little too much detail to posts but I got so many comments doubting me last time and saying that I was “karma bot” (which I had to look up) which was obviously not what I wanted to hear, so hopefully it’s not a big turn off 🤞🤞
Yikes
Ew. The texts say it all. Texting a teen younger than 18 about anything other than babysitting as an adult is gross. I’d distance myself from him too. Nta
Updateme
Your dad is gross and she was very much being groomed which is so sad🤢
I also feel sorry for her parents as clearly this was someone they have trusted around their daughter her whole life only for him to end up being a predator.
Honestly I would cut your losses, as much as you say you love your dad, is that love strong enough to ignore the glaring red flags?
This is even worse than your last post!!
Your father is completely ok with possibly of ruining her relationship with her parents, god he’s a selfish man and I’m sorry for you Op🫶🙏🏻🫂
Yeah. Your dad is a gross old man.
And Kira should be in therapy.
I hope her parents weren’t violent to her.
He’s so fixated on it being legal because deep down he knows how disgusting he is. This must be so hard to process.
Personally I couldn’t be in contact with him if he was my Dad. Dad or not, a pedophile is a pedophile. Even if the messages weren’t proof of sexual activity before she was 18 years old, how can he excuse the fact a grown man was texting a 16 year old? If I were you, I would send one last text:
“Dad, I have always admired and respected you. I am not taking anything out of context. Her Mom told us she found texts from when the neighbor was only 16 years old. That is not an adult. Frankly, I find you disgusting. You have a daughter and you would do this to another man’s child. Now to double down when the whole neighborhood knows of your shame by claiming she’s an adult now? It’s unforgiving and honestly I can’t have someone like that in my life. The neighbors parents have my full support. I will be going NC with u, at least until you get some mental help and realize how wrong and disgusting this is. I hope your “nothing serious” relationship with a child was worth losing yours. I will be blocking you on everything.”
Your dad is a groomer. Period. You need to go very LC because I suspect this will not end well for him. He’s fooling himself.
You’re absolutely right to draw a line. Grooming isn’t just about legality, it’s about power, timing, and intent. The fact that your dad is deflecting and minimizing instead of reflecting is a huge red flag. You’re not punishing him, you’re protecting yourself and refusing to normalize something that feels deeply wrong. That’s brave.
This is a disaster for you OP. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I can’t even imagine. It’s so awful. If you’re really messed up about it you should talk to somebody it beyond reddits paygrade. Don’t forget to support your mom. I’m sure she feels the same way you do.
Your dad won’t be living in that house much longer, the neighborhood is going to make it very uncomfortable for him.
You won’t stop looking at him as a predator, for the simple fact that he is one and nothing will change that now.
Sucks, man. But you did the right thing getting your mom to speak to her parents. You’ve done all you can on that front.
Updateme
Just because something is legal doesn’t make it right. I’d keep my distance as well.
Legal is legal. Only creeps say that😒At least the whole neighborhood knows 2 keep their children away! U staying away is a good idea 2, cause ur dad’s gross. U did the right thing telling the parents cause that girl is under the predator spell. Expect 2 get a call about the assault from her dad that soon come. NTA
He stormed off? So his leg has healed enough? Is ut safe for him to drive?
Not saying that the safety of a predator is my biggest concern when it comes to this story, but most of my other questions already had an answer.
This is going to end up on best of redditor updates with the spoiler tag “Fucking horrifying. No really, that’s just awful.” It’s good you’re looking out for Kira. You and your Mom are good people.