So I (26F) have this one dress I really like. It’s not expensive or fancy, but it fits me well and I just feel good in it. I bought it a few years ago and I wear it on special occasions, like birthdays or nice dinners.
Last weekend my brother’s girlfriend (24F) asked me if she could borrow it for a wedding she was going to. I said no because I was planning to wear it myself next month to a friend’s engagement party. Also, I just… don’t really like lending clothes. I’m always worried they might get stained or stretched out, and honestly I just like having my own things.
She kind of laughed and said I was being selfish because “it’s just a dress” and she would give it back. My brother also made a face like I was overreacting. I got embarrassed and mumbled something about it being important to me. She rolled her eyes and said fine, and then things were awkward for the rest of the evening.
Now I keep thinking maybe I was selfish? It feels silly because it’s just fabric, but at the same time it’s mine and I bought it with my money. I feel bad though because she seemed upset and my brother hasn’t talked to me much since.
AITA?
Comments
NTA. She can get her own dress. I don’t lend my favorite things either, especially if i’m going to need them soon.
Lmao the audacity of that woman. She’s not entitled to your stuff. NTA.
You bought that dress with you own money, you decide who wears it and when. End of story, big NTA.
Your brother’s girlfriend sounds a bit childish to not have the ability to respect other peoples boundaries and belongings.
NTA. Nobody is entitled to your things, “just a dress” or not. Tell your brother to go buy her the same dress if it’s that important to her.
Not selfish at all, people love saying “it’s just a dress” until it’s their favorite one being borrowed and possibly ruined.
NTA, clothes get stained, stretched, torn, and ruined all the time, they’re delicate. It’s not like she asked to borrow your hammer. Also… you wear them on your body. It’s personal. I never got into borrowing clothes, but I’m a guy… I couldn’t imagine asking a friend for a shirt and jeans because I thought they looked nice.
NTA – it’s your dress, you have total control over it. If she wants to wear that dress, she can buy it herself
Lmfao she’s a bully, don’t let her bully you, next time stand your ground and mean it, don’t shy away cause if you do she’s going to see that weakness, you’re going to open the door to her making this a permanent bullying situation.
And honestly shame on your brother too
nta, be selfish. it’s your dress, your choice, and to call you selfish, eye roll and what not is manipulative. the dress really isn’t replaceable, she can get her own dress
NTA if it’s just a dress she can buy and wear her own dress
NTA and you can tell your brother to check his face before you check it for him. As for his GF, you can already write her off as an entitled child that deserves no further consideration.
NTA. I never lend out clothes anymore. 9/10 i don’t get it back or it comes back stained or damaged. Tell her where you bought it and she can get her own
NTA- suggest your brother buy her a new dress if he’s so bothered about it.
If it’s just a dress, then she can find something different.
If it’s “just a dress” then she shouldn’t mind not wearing it. She can wear “just another dress.”
Hide your dress.
Nta
Now hide it somewhere safe. She will try to come and take it.
NTA and it’s ALWAYS ok to be selfish with your own stuff!
If it’s just a dress, then girlfriend should stfu and get her own just a dress. NTA.
I love that “It’s just a [whatever].” So if it is, why do they want it so badly, feel entitled to it, & get damn rude?!
Tell her to buy her own damn dress.
NTA. Make sure to safeguard it… better if you could hide it in a trusted friend’s house or anywhere that your brother can’t find it.
Maybe she’d like to borrow your undergarments as well? NTA
NTA. No. It’s yours. You said no. No reason to hang out with her, either.
I ejaculated to the thought of you in that dress
There’s nothing wrong with not loaning out your clothes. You don’t have to explain yourself but you were nice enough to let her know why you said no. If it’s just a dress then why’s she and your brother making it a big deal? If it’s just a dress then it’s not a problem that you said no. I think she knows how you feel about her and is trying to cause drama for that reason.
NTA! My brother’s ex forgot to pack adequate coats on trips to places with cooler weather several times. I let her borrow my down parka in Spain and she ruined it by staining it with food and washing it (there were no clothes dryers available to me in that area).
NTA
It belongs to you so you get to decide what happens to it. I suggest you put it somewhere she can’t get to it. As she has shown how selfish and entitled she is, I wouldn’t put it past her to help herself to it when you are not rightbthere.
NTA – Tell her that her seeing it as “just a dress” gives you more reason for you not to lend it to her because it means more to you than being “just a dress”. Her attitude shows that she wouldn’t be as careful wearing it as you.
Nobody ever has to lend out their clothes to someone else. This woman’s behavior tells you so much about her character. You would do well to minimize your interactions with her. Her sense of entitlement indicates that she is the type of person who would have no qualms about returning your clothes in a completely ruined state, and she’d probably blame you for it and what to charge you for the inconvenience.
You aren’t. She wants clothes? She needs a clothes shop.
NTA, if its just a dress she can get a different one.
Im gonna take a guess that shed likely talk about how it looked better on her than you and then the dress is going to get lost at the cleaners or, worse, shed actually damage it, after multiple refusal to give it back.
Your brothers dating a bully.
You’re allowed to be selfish with your items. And since it’s “just a dress” she can buy her own “just a dress”. She shouldn’t be asking her BF’s sister to borrow her things. That’s why people have jobs – so they can buy what they need.
She’s awfully rude for someone who wants a favor.
You’re not wrong. NTA. Stand your ground.
Why would anyone have the nerve to ask that?
NTA. You don’t have to risk your clothes for her. That “just a dress” attitude tells you just how careful she’d be with it.
I never did get the clothes borrowing thing, but I wasn’t raised with siblings, so that never came up.
Hide the dress. She will steal it. I would get a lock for your room.
NTA. She’s not interested in borrowing your dress, she’s interested in borrowing your style. I don’t totally why women do this, but trust me, it can be a constant issue.
She can ask and you can say no. If she grumps about it then she is no longer asking but demanding. She is acting both immature and selfish by doing this. Your brother is not thinking with his, uh, well, you know.
Don’t let her guilt you into this.
If “it’s just a dress” then she can wear any dress of her own or from the thrift shop. Nobody who says that will take care of what they borrow, return it on time (ever?), or pay to repair or replace it if/when it gets damaged.
NTA but my brothers gf always offered to lend me her clothes because she knew I didn’t have as much. I will always appreciate her for that. It would be nice but you’re not selfish for not at all
NTA. It’s yours, and it’s up to you if you want to loan your clothes out. Honestly it’s fine for her to ask, but she has to respect your decision. She doesn’t get to act like you’re in the wrong just because the answer is no. Especially your favorite dress- I can totally relate to loving a specific dress and the way you feel in it. You’d be devastated if it got ruined. Don’t let them make you second guess yourself- you are well within your rights to deny their request. How entitled can she be to act like this when she doesn’t get her way?
If she likes it, she can check Mercari or have it recreated by a seamstress