I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (24M) for 3 months now. Things between us moved pretty quickly we clicked right away, got close, and started spending a lot of time together. I really thought he cared about me and was invested in this relationship.
The problem is, I recently tested positive for chlamydia. I haven’t been with anyone else in over a year, so there’s no way this came from me. He swears he hasn’t had sex with anyone else since we got together and that he’s being fully transparent. He also admitted that he never got tested after his last partner before me. Now he says he’s at the lab getting tested.
Here’s where I’m stuck:
• I want to believe him, but the timing feels off because I only started having symptoms after we got together.
• Part of me feels like he could have cheated and is just covering it up.
I feel so conflicted I really like him, and we’ve had a strong connection, but this has left me feeling numb. I don’t know if I should stay and try to work through this or leave before I get more hurt.
Has anyone else been through something similar? Is there really a way to rebuild trust after this, or am I fooling myself?
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Chlamydia can be asymptomatic in guys. He could have contracted it and not even been aware as he might not have experienced any symptoms. Always a good reason to get screened before initiating a new relationship. Best of luck!
It’s not just that it could be dormant in HIM…it can go undetected in women for up to 15 months.
So, I wouldn’t jump to conclusions one way or another here.
I once had chlamydia and only found out because I wanted a clean slate for a new partner. ZERO symptoms. Took a course of antibiotics, got tested again and it was gone.
I’m not saying he’s been faithful or is a good guy or whatever. Just saying his explanation isn’t inconsistent or particularly suspicious. Also, let’s give thanks to the fact that it’s chlamydia and you’ve only been exposed for three months. It can be very damaging to women’s fertility if untreated for a while. But you should be fine health wise at least.
He probably had it when you guys got together. You both need to be treated with the antibiotics. No sex until you both finish your medicine. After, If you get it again, he’s cheating lol
Tough one to prove. It’s only been 3 months get a new boyfriend.
You absolutely could have chlamydia for a year and be asymptomatic… that happened to someone I know.. they hadn’t had any sexual contact for about a year and got tested before they had a hook up and found out they had chlamydia.. that’s why you should get tested often
If he hasn’t gotten tested he probably did not know
It’s entirely possible man be passive carrier that there are really not symptoms
I had chlamydia for 18 months with no symptoms. I only found out cause our college did a huge push for students to do testing and I love a freebie.
Unless uou were both tested at the start of the relationship then its likely that one or both of you had it without knowing
Chlamydia is often asymptomatic in men. He probably got it ages ago from someone else before you were together and never knew. I would be annoyed as heck that he didn’t bother getting tested even without symptoms between partners, but that’s not uncommon for men who have poor sex ed.
If he’s given you zero reason to assume he’s sleeping around chalk it up to him being dumb and both of you need to get on some antibiotics. It’ll clear up in no time.
He’s a good guy, he made a mistake, ya’ll will be stronger.
The only way to know it didn’t come from you would be if you had a negative test before you started having sex with him.
Both men and women can be asymptomatic for an extended period of time so it is possible that you were exposed by your last partner and never knew. But if you did get it from him, if he says he didn’t cheat, seems sincere, and there are no other red flags then I think it’s safe to assume he never knew he had it. But this is why it’s important for both partners to get tested before having sex when starting a new relationship, take it as a learning lesson!
You’re having sex with a guy you’ve known for 3 months with no condom? 😬😬😬😬 oof. Not a great decision. Id have him get tested for everything and you get tested as well. Especially an HIV test. No sex without condoms until all tests have come back clean. This is a good lesson to learn.
I would make the fucker wear a rubber, he was obviously fucking dirty tramps before you
He could of got it from an ex, he could have got it from some dirty tramp he picked up before you two got serious.
I would make sure to contact his ex gf and tell her to get herself tested for it. Then you can see if she had it. if she didn’t then i would think your bf might have cheated on you.
But defiantly make him wrap it before you guys have sex again
Time to kick him to the curb
Don’t y’all get tested before going bare??
What race is your BF?
Chances are he got it from his last partner before you and didn’t know. Chlamydia can be anti symptomatic in men. Don’t assume the worst.
This happened to my boyfriend and I. I tested positive a year and a half into our relationship. I’m pretty positive he gave it to me but we still don’t know for sure. The main thing right now is getting treated for it. I know you must feel ashamed and gross (I know I did), but really, it’s the most common std there is. So many people have had it it’s really no big deal. Just take it as a learning experience and move on
No sex before you get tested is the common sense rule- specially when the guy had other coochs… Also time to move on from this dude…
Why wouldn’t you and him get tested BEFORE?
People say no symptoms but he probably had symptoms and ignored them/told themselves it’s nothing. People do that.
But getting Chlamydia, while common in some lifestyles, it is very uncommon in others. I would press him about his lifestyle when it comes to sexual encounters. My guess is that your lifestyle doesn’t align.
I was dating someone who I didn’t have sex with and they told me they hadn’t been tested in two years despite a handful of partners. So I encouraged them to get tested right before I said goodbye.
I got Chlamydia because my bf at the time had had it for years. He had had symptoms for a long time but always used a condom before me so he somehow thought his symptoms were just how he was.
And I kept getting UTIs until I guess my body just got used to it. I tried to get tested, mind you, but the nurse just told me it’s not that common to have STDs so it’s apparently unnecessary for me to get tested.
Years later, bf thought back to me telling him his symptoms aren’t normal and decided to go to a doctor to figure out what it was.
So, yeah. Chlamydia. I felt so mad for not getting tested years back and not once did nurses say anything about the recurring UTIs.
if neither of you got tested since your last sexual encounter, it could’ve come from either of you. i was a virgin prior to meeting my partner and ended up contracting chlamydia (so there was no way it came from me), it had been dormant in him for about 1.5 years. talk to him about it, both of you need antibiotics and a confirmed negative test after treatment. you’ve got this
Why are you having unprotected sex with a partner before being tested or obtaining their test results? This should be a huge learning moment OP. You unknowingly could’ve infected him or he unknowingly could’ve infected you, it could’ve been something untreatable.
Please use this as a learning moment into practices on safe sex and read up on how you can contract different sti’s.
A lot of Russian roulette going on
Move on . He cheated.
My best friend was positive and didn’t know for a year. Trust- it could’ve been you or him. Chlamydia stays dormant for a while in women and can be asymptomatic in men!
Check that phone!!! If he refuses there’s your sign. After an std, it’s permitted. He should have nothing to hide and hand it right over if he’s faithful. Ask him in person don’t warn him before hand.
Me and my wife were diagnosed with chlamydia years ago and suspect that was one of the reasons we had to seek fertility specialist to get pregnant after a couple years of trying. From what I understand there isn’t any way of telling if it came from me or her as well as the case with you and your boyfriend, I understand you said you hadn’t been with anyone else in over a year but from previous experience I don’t think that matters you or him could’ve possibly been carrying it for years like me and my wife did we never suffered any kind of symptoms of having anything it’s just one of those silent killers. I hate to use the word killer cuz it doesn’t kill you but I believe it does damage to the reproductive system somehow but that’s just a guess I’m no doctor. So anyway good luck getting this resolved and I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions that he’s cheating or has cheated in the past for the reasons I already described
Chlamydia can lie dormant for years It’s also a very specific test, it won’t be found by accident. Whilst it’s dormant, you can still pass it on. Also guys are often asymptomatic anyway.
Had a similar experience.. dated for 8 months I tested positive for chlamydia.. neither one of us were tested prior to our first sexual encounter.. we both got treated and I said we’re both at fault but if something comes up again after the treatment then all hell is breaking loose!
Eh, at least it’s a curable one, it’s like getting mad at him for giving you bacterial meningitis.
Hard to say who gave it to who without both parties being tested for STD prior to sex, take the antibiotics and get screened for any other STD..
I promise it won’t come from a toilet seat
U R RIGHT.It doesn’t happen.And who is on this chat? A bunch of celebate,church going kids? I grew up during the AIDS epidemic in the 80’s and to ask someone to get tested for an s.t.d. before having sex is ridiculous! Wear a condom if u r so worried and keep going to church.Bettet yet,swear off sex till marriage.Damn,I’m 64 and never heard of asking someone to get tested before sex! Next time I need a break from reality remind me to join you in la-la land.
I suggest going to your doctor and talking to them about it. More specifically, about how soon after being exposed to it, you start developing symptoms. That way you’d know for sure if you possibly got it from him the first time you got together or if that’s not possible. I’m no doctor and neither is google, so it wouldn’t hurt to get a professional to help you out with that.