Sister is taking advantage of our joint cash account after father’s death

Location: UAE

I [F31] am the oldest of five siblings. I have a younger married sister [F28], a brother [M22], and two sisters who are still in school and they are both minors. My father passed away five years ago and we along with my mother inherited his accounts.

There’s a cash account but we decided not to split it after he died because my dad owes money (approx 2 million USD) to a bank for a large real estate property that he built. We live in a country where loans and debts don’t get canceled after you die and it’s the responsibility of the children and spouse to pay them off.

Currently this real estate property is occupied and we do get monthly profit from it but unfortunately all of the profit goes to the bank for the loan payment. Also, the monthly loan payment is higher than real estate monthly profit so we do have to top up more money from profits of my dad’s other small business that’s still open. Basically, we pay the bank about 80-90% of all profit that we get and for whatever money that is left, it goes to the joint account for house maintenance bills.

Unfortunately, this large real estate loan is huge it would take us more than 10-14 years to pay off because we’re also paying the bank interest. The problem here is:

(1) I want to sell this large real estate property and pay off the large debt that we inherited. However, some of my siblings refuse because “they don’t want to let go of the large property that my dad spent years of his life building”. Also, they say that now the real estate market is down and we’re not going to profit anything if we sell it

(2) The joint account was supposed to be for joint bills for my dad’s house (which we all share) but now it’s mostly used for personal withdrawals by my married sister. She has a husband, house, job, and three kids and yet she still says her paycheck isn’t enough. So ever since my dad died, she has been withdrawing from the joint account for personal use and she says that she stores all the receipts in a folder so that we later deduct it from her share when we eventually split the account. However it’s been five years like this and many of the receipts gets lost.

I worry that my sister’s withdrawals has already exceeded her share and by the time we split the account, me and my other siblings would be left with less than what our share should actually be.

My mom encourages my sister and doesn’t object to her withdrawals, which makes me angry because it’s not fair. I am not married, don’t have a house and still live with my mom and younger sisters and brother in my dad’s house. I worked hard to get a graduate degree for many years and I was unemployed with no money for about a year after I finished my PhD. However in that period I never took a dime and just stayed home to save.
Now that I fortunately have a job and able to travel and take myself out, but it’s always from my own money that I make.

This issue is bothering me because it’s also because of how my married sister views and looks down on me. We recently went to a mall and I found that she bought a lot of clothes using money she withdrew from our joint account. I told her do you really need all this? She said “yes I do because I visit my in-laws and go to a lot of gatherings with my family, in-laws and my friends. It’s not like you where you don’t have a life (!)”.

It pissed me off because it was so disrespectful and it seemed that she thinks she’s in a better position than me and that she’s looking down on me. Honestly it was the cherry on the cake and I just can’t take it any more. I told her “how do you know that I don’t have a life? Just because I stay home on weekends doesn’t mean I don’t have a life. Darling I already live my life in Europe when I travel on my own money (which she can’t afford and on her recent trip she borrowed money from the joint account for tickets and my mom paid for their hotels)”.

I have been expressing these issues for years to mom and siblings but they just brush it off. Not sure what to do as honestly I had enough of the unfairness. I’m not greedy for money, but I want it to be fair. And right now it’s not. I sacrificed a lot when I was unemployed to save money (stayed in free dorms, got university coupons for my food) but my sister treats the joint account like she doesn’t care at all about others and future financial stability.