My girlfriend (26 F) and I (24 F) have been together for almost 5 years now (lesbian relationship for context). I work in a restaurant serving tables, and there is a busser who has repeatedly tried to get with me for about a month now, and I’ve told him no multiple times and told him I’m in a committed relationship. My brother (27 M) has worked here as a barback for about a year now (for context). I’ve told him about this busser trying to get with me before. Today, when I got to work, my brother came up to me and said, “That busser (not going to say his name) likes you and wanted me to hook you both up, I get Rebeckah and he gets you.” Rebeckah is another server there, and he likes her, but she has a boyfriend. Anyways, I told him “you know I’m in a 5-year committed relationship bro” and he says “oh so you’re not interested?”, that suddenly made my blood boil. He basically just disrespected my gf and I and our relationship. I texted my gf and told her what happened, and she immediately started texting him because it obviously made her very angry. This led to an even bigger argument with the two going back and forth through text, he started making personal attacks on her character, and it seemed like he was trying to ruin my relationship. In the end, my brother tried saying he was just joking, but I don’t see how any of it was funny. He brought up the fact that I “always” ask if he’s okay and that I’m “pushing” an idea onto him that he’s depressed. He has shown signs of depression, and I’ve checked on him maybe 3 times in the past year to see if he was okay, and he got angry with me the very last time I did that, saying I’m pressuring him… I don’t understand what I did wrong. I care about my brother and just want to make sure he’s okay. He told my gf that I’ve been disrespecting him by doing so and proceeded to say he can “cut us off with no problem”. He never asks me how I’m doing ever. I finally had enough because it went on all night for hours, and so I told him he doesn’t ever have to worry about me checking on him again, and I cut him off. AITAH?
AITAH for cutting my brother off after he tried hooking me up with a guy while im in a 5 year relationship?
r/AITAH
Comments
Nta he was totally disrespectful to you and your gf. And you did the right thing. If he comes back with a very genuine apology at some point maybe let him back in. If he has actually had some growth in his personality.
💥 that’s how it’s done.
Seems extreme to cut him off for life over this. There’s gonna be more drama over your action than his
“I get Rebeckah and he gets you.” Rebeckah is another server there, and he likes her, but she has a boyfriend” considering this brother’s attitude and lack of boundaries, someone may need to warn rebeckah that there may be attempts to sabotage her relationship…
NTA, your brother views women as tokens to be traded and i wouldn’t want that in my life either.
Your brother crossed the line big time, trying to “trade” you like you’re property while you’re in a long-term relationship is beyond disrespectful. Then doubling down by trashing your girlfriend and flipping the script on you? Nah. Cutting him off sounds like the healthiest move, nta
NTA. If your brother can’t act like a brother, then he can take a backseat while you drive away without him. It’s the fact that not only did he show blatant disrespect to your relationship but he verbally attacked you AND your partner for defending your relationship. NC might be the best solution to this problem right now since he seems to be bull-headed. Wishing you the best of luck OP & that you feel better about your choice(your SMART choice)🫶
Report both of them to your job, they’re both sexually harassing you and the other woman.
Your brother sounds like a creep and a misogynist, not worth the energy you’ve spent on him. Even if you don’t cut him off, you need to start ignoring his ridiculous statements like “I get Rebeckah and he gets you”, and if he doesn’t stop it, reporting him to the boss. You’re at work, and you don’t need this shit interrupting you while you’re trying to earn a living and build a good reputation in the workplace.
NTA, this man needs to learn basic human decensy and not try to presure people who are in a relationship to just drop five years of commitment. no matter what he thinks about it, eh shuld respect you and your gf. good of you for cutting him off, you and you gf dont need that guy anywhere near your lives.
Lady, your brother is a toxic, manipulative POS, and I am being polite.
I am a baby brother, and can never imagine disrespecting my sister like that
Cut him off, tell him you’ll reconsider having any contact with him if he ever starts being a decent human being
my heart goes out to the poor girl who her parents punished her by naming her “Rebeckah” …
EDIT: oh … nvm .. apparently its a hebrew name, not as i expected, a “novelty” way of writing “Rebecca”. i apologize.
Yeah how dare you ask how he’s doing !/s that’s pretty funny