I, (afab) have a friend I’ve been knowing for around 2 years. I know his name, his last name, I’ve seen his face, I know where he lives, but he doesn’t even know that I’m a woman.
To be more clear, in the side of the internet that speaks my language, if you don’t know the-person-you’re-talking-to’s language, they’re male by default. My language has gendered verbs, and I mostly use he/him. Besides, I have a REALLY deep voice. Like, borderline androgynous. So he just called me “dude” and I never corrected him. At some point, he started to make gay jokes. He started to call me his “babe”, his “polish femboy”(I’m not polish I just live here). But he already knew me as male, so I didn’t correct him. At some point, I started to make these jokes too.
But I feel like I need to tell him the truth. What do I do?
How do I tell him that his gay jokes were actually “straight” jokes?
I don’t know what to do.
Comments
nth really than just telling him.
First off: this is the funniest problem I’ve seen here in a long while. Thank you for that.
Second: do you like being referred to as a man? Do you feel comfortable using he/him pronouns? If so, there may not be a need to correct him
NTA
Nothing was done in bad intentions. But it would be better to be honest. It is really the best policy.
There’s always a risk that by telling the truth we might loose someone in our life. But against the good outcome of someone accepting us the way we really are is really really worth it
Yeah I think it’s more on him than you for the mistake atp. Are you comfortable with him calling you that or do you see it as an opportunity to explore gender identity at all?
Do you like being seen as a guy? You can correct him if you want, but if you’ve been doing this for so long and are happy with it, I would think a bit about your gender. You can definitely be a woman who’s chill with being mistaken for a guy, though.
As for the advice, you’re in deep but if you’re close and trust him just let him know. This all sounds like a bit of a jumble and if it went on for this long and got into this territory I think you both need to be honest and look inside and be honest with yourself about what you want. Do you like this guy? Do you like the jokes? How would he react if he found out you were a woman? Or just if you were AFAB?
Good luck with everything, and I hope my comment doesn’t come across as pushy or anything. I’m just not sure if I’ve ever met a cis woman who would go by masculine pronouns and actively indulge in/enjoy jokes like this for so long.
Reverse Vladimir him by flashing youre tits!
Please dont waste the opportunity.
I’m soooo confused without a backstory on this one.
Next time he calls you dude just reply saying “you realise I’m a girl right?”
This is a classic tale of catfish gayfish!
Dude is accidentally straight!
Send him the meme from Mulan where the guy is turning away when he realises Mulan is a woman. Caption “Sorry I have some news, this is us.”
Next time he makes a joke that’s assuming you to be a male just be like “dude, you know I’m a chick right?” And get a good laugh at his response to it. That’s probably the least awkward way to do it.
Flash him, he’ll understand.
Are you hot, or at least hot enough? Because if you are, he’s about to be a very, very happy online friend.
You’ve seen Lord of the Rings, right?
Just send the “I am no man” GIF.
How is someone your best friend that you’ve never met? Why haven’t you met? That’s crazy. And honestly just tell them what your gender is or whatever, I don’t see how that would change your online friendship etc
tell him you need advice, because you feel insecurw about something. That your dick is to small, once he ask how small, -20cm or whatever your capacity is. And go from there on forward
Are you looking to make this as funny as possible or are you looking for serious advice?
You can just tell him. I don’t see the big issue.
I don’t know? Maybe just say that you’re actually female during one of his gay jokes.
I haven’t come across this type of situation before cause everyone I know are straight forward with what they want to say and it mostly works, so I’m not the best person for advice.
I’m sorry but this is fucking hilarious. This is literally the irl version of the Mulan meme of the guy going “I THOUGHT YOU WERE A CUTE TWINK FEMBOY! IVE BEEN SLEEPING WITH A WOMAN????”
Havens’s with him.
Bro what?
I’m staying updated on this one
Tell him your just a tom-boy that should knock it clear.
You’ve got your answer, I just thought you should know this is also a porn plot
Sorry but how can you call this person your best friend lol
Send him the clip from Bluey saying “I’m a girl!”
What exactly is a “femboy”? I don’t think I want to know.
Mulan?
Don’t create more of a problem than you already have for yourself. Just tell him. Why do some of Today’s youth have to make their life so complicated?
Consider sending them the link to this thread and asking what their thoughts are?
He knows
Anybody here seen Tomo Chan is a Girl!?
Why does your generation have to make things so complicated?!?
As with many questions in this sub, the answer is to talk to them. I don’t know what (afab) means but pretty much… “Hey, we’ve been joking about me being a femboy but I’m actually a girl with a deep voice”.
I’ve been there kinda… I let a friend assume I was a guy for way too long online, and by the time it got weird, I didn’t know how to correct it without making things awkward. It snowballs fast when jokes get involved 😅
Just be honest and casual. Something like: “Hey, I realized I never told you, but I’m actually a woman, so all those ‘femboy’ jokes? Yeah, they’re kind of straight jokes on my end 😅.” Keep it light, acknowledge the mix-up, and let him adjust. No need to over-explain.
Is this where we’re at in the world? People are too afraid to even tell people “oh by the way, I’m not a guy”
What does afab mean?
You could make him a gender reveal video/picture/box?
If you’re going to tell him and if you feel comfortable sharing please dont forget to update us this is the funniest situation I’ve read here