UPDATE: AITAH for going nuclear on my aunt at my own wedding after her son harassed my SIL

So, I’m trying to write this without getting emotional, but I’m failing. I’ve just been sitting here with tears in my eyes watching this post blow up. It might sound small, but seeing this level of support, even from strangers on the internet, has genuinely helped me see this whole situation with so much more clarity. Thank you. I’m not even exaggerating when I say thank you from the bottom of my heart, y’all are wonderful.

For those who thought it was fake, honestly, I get it, but all I can say is this is my life. I know it’s obvious I’m not the jerk for defending Layla. She deserves the world, and I would do it again in a heartbeat, no regrets. I just wanted to ask for advice because when you grow up in a certain way, it’s hard to trust your own judgment. My parents are masters of making you feel like you’re the crazy one. Their family motto might as well have been, “If we think it’s good, then it is. If we think it’s bad, then it is.” The lines between right and wrong were always blurred for me, and unlearning that has been a lifelong project. Meeting my now-husband was the turning point. He’s so kind, respectful, and supportive, and he showed me what a healthy family dynamic actually looks like. And I really can’t wait for a future full of him and our shared happiness!

Now for the important part: Layla is doing better. I called her a few hours after the post, and she immediately started apologizing and saying she felt bad for “ruining” the night. I immediately shut that down and told her that what happened was 100% Mark’s fault. His behavior was awful, and she did nothing wrong. I actually apologized to her for him even being there and for him putting her through that at my wedding. We talked for a while, and she told me she’s been seeing a therapist for a while now to work through her trauma, which I think is just incredible of her. Honestly she’s so strong and amazing.

While I got some truly vile DMs, the overwhelming majority have been incredible. I want to especially thank the Hijabi and Arab women who messaged me. Hearing your stories, and how you felt for Layla and understood her experience, just made me tear up. It’s painful, but the support I saw gave me so much hope for a world where girls everywhere can just exist without being harassed. It’s a beautiful contrast to the one guy who DMed me to “save” me and Layla from my supposedly oppressive in-laws because according to the natural law “Muslims just get more conservative after marriage”. His message was just a sad reminder that some people will use any tragedy, like the suffering of women in Iran, to fuel their own racism while pretending to be a hero. Just to be clear: I’ve known my husband for eight years. I’ve traveled to his home country with him multiple times and met his huge extended family. Some of his female cousins wear the hijab, some don’t. They are all devout, happy, and would have a good laugh at the idea that they’re being secretly tortured by evil Muslim men. I absolutely hate it when people weaponize the very real and horrific struggle of others to push their own bigoted worldview. Please don’t make assumptions or project weird racist fantasies onto my family and my sister’s lived experience.

And that brings me to one last thing I really want to make clear. I’ve been on this earth for 28 years and I’ve met every kind of person imaginable. Bad people are just bad, and good people are good. It has nothing to do with their faith, their race, or where they come from. I would hate for my post to become a platform for any kind of bigotry. The focus here is on my parents/aunt enabling a harasser, and a young woman’s trauma being dismissed. Not on inventing weird scenarios about a family I see, love, and laugh with regularly.

As for my parents, I took your advice. I sent a final (very short) message and blocked them. The only response was a predictable email from my dad saying he’d be “ready to listen” when I was “ready to apologize” Yeah, he’ll be waiting a long time. Lol.

Thank you all again. You’ve given me a sense of peace and validation I didn’t even know I was looking for. I really, really appreciate it.