TL;DR My husband wants nicer things than I do, and I prefer simpler things (both because I just do and I do not want to have to make lots of money). He runs a business, and works about 50-55 hours a week and makes excellent money. His work is based on clients – he can take fewer and work less or vice versa. I work 40-45 hours a week at a job where I get four weeks’ PTO a year (normally I actually get six – but this employer is stingy – however six weeks is my norm and I worked hard to have that). I make great money and can easily afford a quality, but not lux lifestyle. Husband wanted a nicer home, and I was clear this was not a priority for me, and we agreed I would pay less. Now though, he wants me to not use my four weeks of PTO, because he cannot get away. How do I manage this?
My personal take is… I did not want the excessive house. I’d gladly downsize if he wants to join me in a more rleaxed lifestyle. I feel like if he wants to work more to have this, that is his prerogative, but I should take my PTO. I understand the long-term implication could be poor for the marriage and accept that. I’ve worked hard to enjoy life and see the world.
Comments
The fact he cannot take vacation is not your problem. I’d take every single day. He has some nerve.
Enjoy your PTO. It is part of your compensation and you are entitled to take it. Your husband’s schedule has no bearing on this.
The fact that he is demanding that you not take the PTO that you earned is “poor for the marriage.” You are not the one fucking up, he is way out of line and acting extremely childish.
How selfish of him. Take your PTO – it’s your right. It’s not like not taking it will diminish your income, so the only reason he doesn’t want you to relax is his own jealousy.
Tell him “I understand you want a bigger home, and more things. But I want us to enjoy our lives together. I need you to think about your priorities. Is a big house so important that sacrificing our time together is okay for you.”
Tell your husband that he is allowed to make whatever choices he wants about how much he works just like you are allowed to make that choice for yourself.
He is not entitled to dictate your work schedule like he’s your boss. He’s your partner, your equal. Not someone you answer to.