I am a 21F dating a 19F.
Our relationship is 8-months long.
She opened up to me about me not showing “loud” type of love or display of affection to her. She may also want me to post her on social media stories, and other lovey-dovey stuff in public.
In my defense, I have always struggled to show such affection; I rarely show affection to my family and friends, and it’s only recently that I’m slowly getting comfortable with physical touch. I struggle to hold hands nor show any signs of romantic gestures in public because I refuse to be seen as bi by others, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to.
I had already explained all of these to her in our previous conversation, but now that it was brought up again, I am genuinely at loss. Don’t get me wrong, these are not excuses; I make sure to put up the effort even if it’s difficult for me to. I try to be affectionate with words and clinging onto her in private (in chats & if it’s just us alone in a room).
Please don’t misunderstand me, I truly love her but showing that loud affection has not always been my forte. What should I do?
TL;DR – I struggle showing loud affection to her, but that is what she wants to see from me.
Comments
She should respect what you have told her. You were honest from the start with her about these preferences. You can’t try change someone into the version you want.
I hate being touched in public in a certain way by my partner ( if they started kissing my neck) I would physically recoil if it happened. Would floor me at home. We are who we are, don’t accept being made uncomfortable because its what someone else wants.