Girlfriend still has photo’s of her ex on the wall in her bedroom

r/

GF still has foto´s hanging up in her bedroom

So a bit of context, I´m with a girl (24F) that I’ve (33M) known for about a year and we are together for about 4 months now.

Couple of weeks ago we´ve had our first talk after a lot of things happened involving her ex.
They broke up in December of last year and we´ve been together since May.

She hasn’t told me a lot about her past relationship, but what I do know is that she wanted to take is slow because the breakup wasn’t that long ago.

Fast forward to August and I frequently saw her texting her ex, I didn’t say anything because I just genuinely want to trust her, but she always let me see everything on her phone, but this she kept secret.

We were going to a party of a friend of hers and she still hadn’t told me who her ex was, but I knew based of off pictures I saw on her Instagram and Facebook.
In advance she showed me who was coming and explained who was who, but when we came to her ex boyfriend she just skipped him. Her ex is part of her close friend group.

So when we came to the party he was there, I shook his hand and tried to have a good time there. While it was incredibly clear that he was not comfortable with me around, going on walks alone away from the friend group, throwing a lot of stares at me and my GF, but my GF also looked a lot at him.

So after the party I had a talk with her and asked her why she didn’t mention him when telling me who came to the party, why she didn´t tell me HE was her ex from the last relationship she was in for 2,5 years. Why she kept texting him and not telling me.

She said that she felt awful about it, but didn´t know how to approach the situation. She wanted that relationship to be behind her and didn’t know how to tell me all those things.
She told her ex I was coming, but not the other way around.

So after that talk everything was fine for me, although I still had that voice in my head that that was strange.
Couple of days later we went to her home (she lives with her parents) and there were photo´s of her with her ex that her parents took down laying on the table. I assumed she asked them to take them down but I´m not sure.

Now yesterday we went to her home, her parents are on vacation so we decided to sleep at her place. And in her bedroom there were still pictures of her and her ex together, framed and on the wall.
After our talk from a couple of weeks ago, I had hoped she would´ve taken it down and store it somewhere, but it was still hanging up. While there were basically no other pictures. Only her and her ex. Not me, not her family, not her friends, just her and her ex hugging, on vacation and others.

I was very uncomfortable when I was laying in bed. And I don’t know how to approach the situation. We already talked about how I felt and where she stood on her past relationship. So when telling me she just wants to be with me, and that her previous relationship is completely done, while I felt that when she was trying to hide him from me and not telling me she was still texting him, that that made me uncomfortable. Why are they still on the wall then and not in a box or closet..

I don’t know how to approach this situation, since we already talked about it and nothing changed. I don’t feel like I should ask her to take it down, because I don’t want to look at her ex while we lay in bed. In my opinion, she should´ve done that herself.

How would you guys approach it?

Tl;dr ex still has photos of her ex hanging up in the bedroom, don’t know how to talk to her since we already had a conversation about these things

Comments

  1. Meeka19 Avatar

    She clearly hasn’t put it behind her. You’ve tried communicating your boundaries, she doesn’t care. Get some self respect and break up with her. 

  2. Naasofspades Avatar

    My friend, that’s what the red button with ‘Eject’ written on it is for…

  3. Tricky_Ad_9563 Avatar

    It sounds like she’s still hung up on her ex, and she’s debating whether to go back to him. Sorry to break it to you. There’s a small chance that he’s trying to get back with her, and she’s talking him down gently via text, because she feels bad for him, and she genuinely has no interest in going back with him. I think the most likely scenario is that she’s talking to him with the hope that he chases her, she’s still interested in him, and she’s hiding the phone from you for this reason.

    Personally, I would end the relationship. You can’t start a serious relationship with someone who has one foot out the door. She obviously shouldn’t have dated you in the first place, until she was truly over her ex. She sounds a bit immature, tbh. I mean, leaving pictures of her ex on the wall when her new boyfriend stays over is disrespectful. She’s super-duper naive, if she doesn’t see a problem with that.