I have heard for a long time now that many women think that „men like the chase”, I can only guess why that is, my guess would be that we judge the way we are, and from what I see, women are indeed OFTEN willing and happy to chase after guys they find attractive, and since those guys are often not receptive, or don’t take them seriously, those women treat it as liking the game.
No man I’ve ever known liked the game, I am in most perfect relationship, and one of the reasons is that my gf didn’t play games.
Like, why would men like it? Dating is already insanely tough, especially that most men don’t have nearly the amount of options as average woman. Women might like games, it spikes emotions ans such, but WHY is that treated as something man would like? So he can conquer? Men already have to go to jobs, fight in society, all the men I know just want peace, but this opinion seems to be VERY common, and my question is: WHY? What is the source? If not just women projecting that is….
Comments
Just spitballing but it could be because women are taught from a young age that if a boy is mean to you it’s because he likes you. This makes you think that when a guy isn’t returning calls or seems uninterested it’s actually because they like you and so they don’t give up.
(I’m a 27 year old woman btw)
I don’t believe this notion at all but I had to break away from that idea after many heartbreaks. I’m now happily married with the man of my dreams and there was zero messing about or mixed signals at the start of our relationship.
My advice to anyone seeking relationships, if they act disinterested, they are. And not to put in more effort for someone who isn’t willing to do the same.
It’s not that I thought men liked the chase rather than that it was enforced that as a woman you should never show that you are eager. I was shown that men need more time to develop feelings and that showing mine too early on that I was interested in a relationship would scare them away. On the other hand there is also, eagerness that could be perceived as sluttyness. As a woman, you should avoid at all costs to seem ‘easy’.
So there is a lot of societal pressure for women to let men take the initiative and engage in the ‘chase’ because you can’t risk being perceived as desperate or a slut because that reputation will cling to you.
There are some men that do enjoy ‘the chase’, they’re probably just outside of your personal social bubble (and there aren’t that many of them).
If you are a guy who is very attractive and confident and charismatic, having a woman play ‘hard to get’ and then ultimately seducing her anyway is an affirmation of all of those qualities and a boost to your ego. It’s satisfying in the same way that achieving anything difficult is is satisfying. For you or I, the ambiguity and confusion of not knowing if she’s uninterested or just feigning as much is very frustrating, but if you’re used to a world where it’s rare to not have a woman respond positively to flirting then it feels more comfortable to just assume the latter.
I will say I think this applies much more to hookups and casual sex than to any kind of more serious dating, and mostly only within a fairly ‘trad’ social bubble. It is certainly misguided when women assume all guys or all attractive guys like or want this.
“The chase” starts when a boy is 8 years old, pushes a girl to get attention, she tells him to piss off, so he pushes harder, etc etc