This is a throwaway account for obvious reasons. I teach English at a high school and one of my classes is an AP class, so these are generally bright students, and most of them are pretty kind. I’ve known of this kid’s family for a while because I taught his older sister a few years back. At first, I thought he was a very sweet kid, popular and active in discussions/class participation. He even complimented my skirt one day during the first week, which I thought was nice because I always appreciate compliments on my style more than my general appearance (and I’ve had less than savory comments from students before). But over the past few weeks, his behavior has escalated. He started coming to “just hang out” in my classroom during lunch period, wanting to talk to me after class about content he seemed to understand well already, etc. I started getting suspicious that he might’ve had a crush or maybe social and home life issues that he just wasn’t sure how to talk about.
Until he started touching me. At first it was brushing up against me while leaving class, then putting his hands on me during some of these “hang out” or “tutoring” moments. Yesterday, he asked to talk to me after school (his class is the last period of the day), and he tried to kiss me while putting his hand on my hip. I shoved him off and told him I was going to have to go to administration, but he told me he’d just say I was the one coming onto him. He thankfully left it there and I ended up crying in the school bathroom for god knows how long before I could make myself go home. His class is coming up in about an hour now and I’m terrified. Our school only keeps cameras in hallways, so I have absolutely no proof that this is happening. We had a teacher get fired for being inappropriate with students just last year, so I’m worried he’ll actually do what he threatened and lie about me. I can’t just try to deal with it myself either because I’m scared things will go further and I’m a relatively short, weak woman. I feel so disgusting and I don’t know what to do.
ETA: We have a policy of not filming students (new this year with all the teacher influencer stuff going on online). I’m scared that recording anything will get me into a filmed without consent situation. I appreciate the responses and I am going to talk to administration before this class to at least get it on the record even if nothing else can be done right now.
Comments
Tell admin now!! I know it is your job, but if a student is making you FEAR teaching a class, tell admin before class starts! Even if that means being late to that class, or even taking the rest of the day off. Do not ever allow yourself and this boy to be in the same room together, especially not alone. The longer you let this go, the more likely he is to be believed.
There is only one solution here. You MUST go to administration immediately. Do not let this go on for another second. Go before his class. This is serious.
Sorry about this weird situation op. I think you should go to administration about this regardless . Also, try to audio record next time hes around you or something. Just an idea, but you could use your phone to record. This is a really uncomfortable situation for you sorry about this. You should definitely go to administration about this behaviour though
Record whatever he is upto and the voice too if possible, Dont try to seem like you are fine with what he is doing and push him out and stuff, and if he threatens you, you have got the voice recording and video recording both, Its pretty simple.
There should be something like a justice-system with, you know, courts and evidence and lawyers and stuff in most civilised countries (and the US for what it’s worth).
Go to administration and tell them exactly what you wrote here.
If this is true.. you need to talk to the administration or the SRO immediately. Your failing to do so is only going to make him escalate. Reporting it isn’t going to reflect bad on you.. you’re the one reporting it. Also.. get your union rep involved.. you have rights.. don’t be scared or bullied by this kid. You need to stand up for yourself and do it now.. do not wait.
tell an admin. have a voice recorder on your phone active during ANY conversation with this student. if he tries to spin it that you were the one coming onto him, youll have evidence otherwise. you could always have your own personal camera set up in your class room
Title 9 applies to teachers as well, tell your union and your boss (if you’re in the US)
Check my DM, NOW!!!
Report him and tell them what he said about you coming onto him. If he threatened to do it he’ll likely do it anyway. It will help your case if you’re the one bringing it to their attention.
Can you voice record?
Report it ASAP. Human tendency is to believe the first person that comes forward.
Go to your boss. “I am being harassed by a student, and now he has threatened me. What would you suggest is my recourse?”
You must be the first to report this. Them finding out any other way, or him lying about you will make you look guilty.
My brother who also teaches maintains a distance from his female students
Because of the fear of getting framed
Nowadays a days he is also maintaining distance from male students too cause of a weird things that happened
A male student’s mom kept calling and whenever i my brother answers the calls she starts acting like my brother called her
That’s why now he maintains distance from both male and female students
Who knows what those students might do
That’s good advice
Maybe send him to the office every day
Until this is resolved
Talk to the principal yesterday. Tell him that this student is physically harassing you and you cannot teach that final class until he is gone. Take it all the way to HR and show them this post if needed.
Go to your school admin and report it. Then ask for a camera to be installed in room, and if not, get a cheap phone and have it recording on your desk. Just say it’s there so you can review later. You don’t have to film him, keep the camera pointed toward you.
Tell the administration.
You need to report this NOW. You do not need to record anything. Go report it and get it all on record now.
I’m going to level with you; he is never going to take responsibility for this, and he is never not going to say that you initiated it. Get in front of that train right now before too much momentum has built up. I would also honestly file criminal charges, but I know that that is extremely difficult to put on you, and I’m just very very sorry that he’s a piece of shit and you’re having to deal with this.
I’m going to the principle and being honest.
Never be alone with him, if he asks to meet set up a recorder. I don’t care what he says about reporting you, you tell someone to keep record of all that is happening.
I think you should post this to r/teachers. They’ll be able to help you more than we can probably.
You report it to the school Principal and suggest having him moved to another class. NOW.
u/No-Focus-8577 is right!! Voice record it. You might need to consult with an attorney to determine your rights, as well. But DO report it to Admin.
This is a serious and dangerous situation, and you deserve immediate support. What you’re experiencing is sexual harassment and intimidation, and it’s not just inappropriate, it’s illegal. Here’s what you can do to protect yourself and make sure this gets handled properly.
First: Protect Yourself Immediately
-Do not meet with the student alone again. From this moment forward, keep all interactions with him in public spaces or with another adult present. If he tries to approach you alone, redirect him or leave the room.
-Document everything. Write down every incident in detail: dates, times, what was said or done, who was nearby, and how you responded. This record will be crucial if the situation escalates or if he tries to accuse you.
-Avoid direct confrontation. Do not try to “talk it out” with him. His behavior has crossed into sexual harassment and intimidation. You are not responsible for managing his emotions or correcting his actions.
Second: Report Through Proper Channels
-Speak to your school’s Title IX coordinator. Every U.S. school receiving federal funding is required to have one. Title IX protects you from sex-based harassment, even if the harasser is a student.
-File a formal report with school administration. You’ve already taken the first step by notifying them. Now ask for a written acknowledgment of your complaint and request that they initiate an investigation.
-Request accommodations. You can ask to have the student removed from your class, or to have a staff member present during that period. These are reasonable safety measures.
Third: Know Your Legal Rights
-You are protected under Title IX and Title VII. Title IX covers sex-based harassment in schools, and Title VII protects employees from harassment in the workplace.
-You can file a complaint with the U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights (OCR). If your school fails to act or retaliates against you, you can submit a complaint online through OCR’s official portal. You don’t need a lawyer to do this, and you can file anonymously.
-Consider speaking with a legal advocate. Organizations like the https://nwlc.org or Stop Sexual Assault in Schools offer guidance and resources. You don’t have to go through this alone.
The fact that you’re scared doesn’t mean you’re powerless, it means you’re aware, and that awareness is your strength. You’re doing the right thing by speaking up. And if he tries to lie, your documentation, your professionalism, and your proactive reporting will speak louder than his threats.
Tell your director you’re being harassed and ask for a strategy to give objective evidence should it be required in court. This can get ugly quickly
You way too carefree. Fkin needed to been stand up an say something, your second best time is now. Also get admin involved an maybe have a second teacher with you on your break or whatever.
Report it, and tell them what he threatened too. Get ahead of the game.
We need a follow up on this! Hope it works out.
TELL YOUR FUCKING BOSS
Obviously tell admin. The fact that you apparently haven’t already concluded that is odd
If you don’t say anything now, it will be harder to believe when he escalates and blames you.
Have a voice recorder on you, and refuse alone time with him.
Inform admin and file a report. Tell them you feel unsave and want a cam in your class or sound recording to protect you!
Um dude u need to report this ASAP! And I mean asap.
You have to go to admin first, before he can do or say anything. Get permission for cameras. This is not right.
If there’s something inappropriate happening, it’s your responsibility to notify the administration. By being the first one to report inappropriate behaviour, it’s unlikely they’ll think you’re the one at fault, even if your student denies it or tries to turn things around. It makes no sense to draw attention to something illegal if you’re the one instigating the behaviour.
However, if your student is the first one to report something inappropriate, perhaps in retribution for not giving into his advances, even if they’re at fault, kiss your career goodbye.
Loophole is if you had a friend on the phone on mute recording the conversation for you so you’re not in trouble for recording student..
Too bad you don’t have a friend who can hide in a closet or maybe even the kids mother to hear what he says..
TL;DR: A high school teacher is dealing with a student who’s escalated from compliments to sexual harassment and threats, and needs to take immediate action to protect herself. This student is absolutely crossing serious lines and you need to act now. What started as seeming “compliments” has become sexual harassment, and any threats – even implied ones – from a student toward a teacher are completely unacceptable. Your gut instincts about his behavior escalating are spot on. You need to document everything immediately and report this to your administration today. Don’t worry about “overreacting” or ruining this kid’s future – he’s making these choices himself. As someone who’s taught his sister, I get that this feels complicated, but your safety comes first. Stop being alone with him, keep your classroom door open, and don’t engage in any non-academic conversations. I know it’s hard when you initially saw potential in a student, but sometimes bright kids make really poor choices about boundaries. Have you been keeping notes about these incidents, and do you have a trusted administrator you can talk to…
Deeper lens: it may be a shadow part asking to be heard kindly.
You need to report this to the administration or whoever is in charge the student is showing predatory behavior, which is extremely dangerous and you need to get him removed from the classroom boss with the school and start getting help for him, but you must report him
I would still talk to your administration about what to do in the situation and the fact that you’re being threatened, maybe and also consult an attorney and not let them know about that. Even if you can’t film anything, maybe you could record it? And if you can’t do that, is there any way somebody could hide inside of your closet in your room so they could hear it?
Immediately go to your boss. Demand the student is either expelled or removed from your class, explain how he threatened to switch the roles, and send an email to his guardian (s) about his behavior.
You’ve got this OP! Good luck ♡
If you go to the administration I am 99.99999% certain they will take your side and believe you without question and approach it as if everything you have said is true.
They can also get in a lot of trouble if they don’t take your complaint seriously enough.
Talk with admin, tell them you want another staff in the room with you soon as class lets out and right after school or you want a camera installed. This shows you are not willing to engage in sexual behaviour with a student. Tell them you don’t feel safe with said student. If admin does nothing, ask another teacher or staff to show up at your door right at the end of class so he knows you’re not alone under the pretence of a meeting. Whatever works. For all you know the student might be trying to set you up to get fired.
It would be seriously horrible if you do not let anyone know- I say this partly to warn you, but also to scare you-
What if he rapes you? And then blames it on you?
It could get to the worst. Tell a FUCKING BOSS
You’re the freaking adult, act like one. Report him and show him actions have consequences.
Talk to admin immediately.
Report this to your school and your union
Go to admin, and if you can’t film, voice record!!!