My last partner made me a ‘terms and conditions’ to get back together with him.

r/

For some background, he cheated, watched porn for several months while we were together, lied about his body count. Is a personal trainer at 23 making 10k a month in central London. Has no responsibilities besides paying his £500 monthly hostel. Goes on holiday even twice a week sometimes.

Terms of you staying with me or not:

here are the terms that I want To lay out if we are to be together again, if you cannot do this, then please block me and never speak to me ever again. If you say maybe, I take that as a no. You have until Tuesday 16th September to decide.

What you get:
– date night once per week, go out for food
– holiday once every 2 months
– If you want more money it means one less holiday and date nights as I have a tight budget, I have to pay my workers as the money has been reinvested into the business – this is non negotiable.
– £200 per month for you to spend (will increase with time).
– See me every evening
– Spend time together one full day per week.
– Eventually I will buy us a cottage just like we always dreamed.
– When I hit my next milestone of 50k per month I’ll buy you a motorcycle.

All of the above will increase when I hit my £50,000 per month goal.

What I want:
– all my cooking done every week
– All my washing up done every week
– You to call me for 30mins a day when I’m at work and of course during emergencies – you are more important then work but we have to progress with money if we are to be happy.
– Remove Ben from your life and never speak to him again.
– work on our issues together openly, not have an ego and we work through our problems and sit and talk it out once per week or more if we need. We BOTH go to therapy
– Meet my family finally
– Have kids with me when your ready
– Get married in the future

Edit: No, not considering going back. Just thought I’d share. Also Ben I met months after our break up, currently together and happy! Just randomly got this text sent from my ex when he found out about us recently from a friend we have in common.

Comments

  1. tshirtbag Avatar

    Run! Basically.

  2. Frogladysaver Avatar

    Give us the background on Ben too

  3. KikiMoon Avatar

    Never been more content being a 50+ year old cat lady,sipping wine & watching football. Fu*k those conditions.

  4. kelfupanda Avatar

    More info on Ben

  5. hiddenkobolds Avatar

    He has conditions after cheating??? 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

    This guy– I can’t.

  6. HouseOfDoom54 Avatar

    that reminds me of how I wish my ex came with a detailed warning label

  7. vintagesunshine85 Avatar

    So happy for you and Ben. Your ex is a serious psychopath

  8. Select-Negotiation87 Avatar

    Lmaoo!!! Ex is funny dude. Did he hit his head with kettlebell? I’m laughing so hard.

  9. throwaway34_4567 Avatar

    So kids first and then comes marriage? Is this person even okay? Also, what made him think you wanted him back after meeting a man like Ben? Delulu is strong with this one it seems but I hope you just block and go with Ben though!!

  10. UrsulaVonTwinkle Avatar

    Block him and never speak to him again, per his terms. I don’t even know him and I know he ain’t worth all that.

  11. SensibleFriend Avatar

    No. This would be a no for me. A relationship is made of love, trust and respect, this “contract” removes emotional attachment and love and makes the relationship into a basic business deal. That, in my opinion, is unacceptable.

  12. J_EDi Avatar

    Jesus… nobody can be worth this kind of stupid

  13. yo_yo_yiggety_yo Avatar

    Reply: You cheated and now come with conditions? HAHAHAHAH

  14. mrkstr Avatar

    This is great. Everything’s laid out right there.  If you like it, do it!  If not, block him.  I’d block him, personally.

    Edit:  I guess I just really like it when people make decisions easy for me.

  15. ExplorerDelicious547 Avatar

    wait, hold up. what happened in between breakup, Ben, and this guy coming up with T&C?
    Did you contact him to get back together or did he just up and came with this and sent this to you?

  16. elena_dc Avatar

    HAHAHAHA nope, thank you.

    also, we need ben’s reaction with the conditions laid out by your ex. 🤣

  17. Hoony_tart Avatar

    The balls to give you conditons after he cheated LOL.

    Block that sorry bum

  18. Anonimityville Avatar

    Make this fun send him a counter offer just as ridiculous.

    Eg

    2,000/month
    You will say only nice things to me
    Rub my feet 3 times a week etc

  19. drcssm Avatar

    So the dude wants a transactional relationship, where he has a maid, chef and sex when he wants and then only pay you 200? Yeah, he’s insane. He wants transactional set an hourly rate.

  20. Whacky_One Avatar

    “Controversial”: sounds reasonable.

  21. KimberKitsuragi Avatar

    Tell him “in your dreams” and go on with your life. Anyone who tries to give a person a T&C like they’re an object instead of a human being is delusional and needs serious therapy

  22. Appropriate_Taste_87 Avatar

    Why are you even considering going back? After he cheated no less?

    If you’re not, please make the edit on your post, because it looks like you’re considering it and it makes it confusing and ridiculous.

  23. honkifyouresimpy Avatar

    I vomited in my mouth.

  24. Samoyedfun Avatar
  25. RobotDoodle Avatar

    200 per month to be his personal chef and maid? Lol this fuckin guy. The fact that he sent this to you when you’re moved on and in a new relationship is icing on the crazy town cake.

  26. orangutanDOTorg Avatar

    Why is he giving you money?

  27. YahMahn25 Avatar

    You cheating with Ben

  28. Dancinfool830 Avatar

    Yeah, that is some amazing b.s., and personally, I would respond to him with the link to this post, then block him. Let him see the full public ridicule that is being thrown his way for this behavior.

  29. cleverlywicked Avatar

    But, but he would have paid you £200 a month! Lol. I’m with the cat lady, only I have a dog, but so happy to be single.

  30. RussChival Avatar

    Reminds me of this bit from News Radio, (but worse): https://youtu.be/wN9Jq3_Z-1M

  31. imchocolatta Avatar

    This is hilarious. Congrats on finding Ben.

  32. Ultra-Pessimist Avatar

    You dodged a bullet. He’s a manchild lmao. Also the audacity to have terms and conditions after he cheated? Narcissistic

  33. carneadevada Avatar

    For some reason the last two bullets in “What you get” are downright hysterical to me. What a goob.

  34. wonder_why1 Avatar

    Bahahahaha. The nerve! UpdateMe on the 16th if/when you get a “since you agreed to my conditions, when are you breaking it off with Ben? ” msg!

  35. Serious-Echo1241 Avatar

    Text back, “REJECT”. LOL

  36. oldfogey12345 Avatar

    I was trying to figure out why you were trying to get back with him till that last paragraph.

  37. Southern-Interest347 Avatar

    I think this proposal deserves a counter offer. One position, that you get to spend five out of seven nights with ben, on those nights your ex is expected to either financially cover dinner or cook dinner.

  38. Warm-Understanding44 Avatar

    Leave him,this is what gives him power over you

  39. theblackskirtsss Avatar

    Hard pass 😂. He thinks he’s got the upper hand? Delusional at it’s finest.

  40. Either-Welder-6211 Avatar

    The dude knows that nobody reads the terms and conditions, right?

  41. maywellflower Avatar

    Yeah. that’s “Why would I want your lazy ass unfaithful broke ass POS self back? You can stay an ex and just be gone. And yeah, Ben is way better than you. “