I (28M) live with 2 roommates (both are 25M). I pay an extra for the only bedroom with a private bathroom. I kept finding my towels wet therefore I confronted them multiple times, they both denied.
About two weeks ago I installed a small security camera inside my private bathroom (please keep in mind that the bathroom is only accessible from my room).
Within a week it caught one of my roommates using my shower. Obviously the camera picked him up nude. I deleted the clip immediately after confirming what happened.
When I told him, he lost it and said I “violated his privacy” and that he’ll “press charges for filming him naked.” I said the camera was in my private bathroom but he kept saying that it was the first time and only because I left for a few days.
My other roommate says I should’ve just “let it go” and not installed a camera at all, and honestly I feel so bad, I feel like it was in fact too much.
AITA for protecting my space, or is he right that I crossed a line?
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I (28M) live with 2 roommates (both are 25M). I pay an extra for the only bedroom with a private bathroom. I kept finding my towels wet therefore I confronted them multiple times, they both denied.
About two weeks ago I installed a small security camera inside my private bathroom (please keep in mind that the bathroom is only accessible from my room).
Within a week it caught one of my roommates using my shower. Obviously the camera picked him up nude. I deleted the clip immediately after confirming what happened.
When I told him, he lost it and said I “violated his privacy” and that he’ll “press charges for filming him naked.” I said the camera was in my private bathroom but he kept saying that it was the first time and only because I left for a few days.
My other roommate says I should’ve just “let it go” and not installed a camera at all, and honestly I feel so bad, I feel like it was in fact too much.
AITA for protecting my space, or is he right that I crossed a line?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I put a security camera in my private bathroom while having two roommates
I feel like I might be an asshole cause come on, it’s a bathroom even if it’s a private one. I feel like I might have crossed a line…
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Just put a lock on it.
I feel like the camera could have been pointed at the door or the floor and not at an angle where you caught him naked.
No legal consequences for rooms only you are entitled to use because of the lease.
NTA. Put a lock on it.
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YTA. You could have easily placed the camera in a location that would show who walked thru the door. Better yet would could lock your room. Instead you put up a creeper cam.
I would say that was a poor camera placement. Realistically you probably should have had the camera outside the bathroom with a view of the door. So any guests you may have over or if there was an emergency and your flatmates needed to use the bathroom to go to the toilet, no one would be filmed.
NTA if he wasn’t using YOUR bathroom then he wouldn’t have been caught naked. This is the same as someone breaking into another persons house, stripping naked, getting caught on CCTV and then acting as the victim.
If he wants to press charges then he will be admitting to breaking and entering into your private area.
You’ve turned a private space into a nightmare. Installing a camera? That’s over the top, mate. There are boundaries you simply don’t cross, especially when it comes to personal privacy. Have a chat like adults and sort this out instead of resorting to extreme measures.
ESH. Bad choices were made by everyone. If you pay more for the privilege of a private bath, they should definitely not use it without permission. But you could have easily put the camera in your room where you could see the bathroom door. Based off your ‘wet towel’ evidence, you should have known you were going to film someone naked without their knowledge.
ESH – of course he shouldn’t be using your bathroom without asking, but there were much easier ways to catch him and less creepy places to put a camera
Maybe sell him the video
Umm, if it’s only accessible through your bedroom… couldn’t you have placed the camera in your room pointed at the bathroom door? I’d be more worried about them in my room on the way to the bathroom….
YTA, you place a camera in a private bathroom, but if you caught someone on camera, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be recording them either naked or using the bathroom….
The same goal could’ve been achieved by placing camera in your room and catching them entering your room and using your bathroom as well as anything they did in your room, which I’m my mind is a better set up… unless you’re trying to catch someone naked or using the toilet….
You should sell the video online for lots of cash and make profit out of it and then make business and become next mark zukerberg
This isn’t ‘caught him slipping in the shower,’ it’s ‘caught him slipping INTO your bathroom.’ 🚿😂 You’re fine. He’s embarrassed and deflecting.
NTA. If anyone violated anyone’s privacy, it was your roommate who entered your bedroom to get to your bathroom.
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ESH
They shouldn’t be using your bathroom.
BUT
You could have recorded outside the bathroom door. You could have told them that you were putting a camera up.
There are a million options between doing nothing, and filming your roommates nude without their knowledge.
NTA he was trespassing
NTA at all. HE violated YOUR privacy. Fuck that.
I think it’s been made clear there were alternative locations for the camera, and there were probably better ways you could’ve gone about the situation. Confronting him by insinuating you saw him naked would’ve made anyone feel uncomfortable, so I do think you should apologise for that. At this point it’s pretty hard for him to deny he’s the one using your bathroom so what you do from here is up to you I guess
NTA fafo
ESH.
They shouldn’t be using your bathroom and then lying about it, you shouldn’t have put a camera where you could see them nude when the same could have been achieved by placing it either in your bedroom to look at the bathroom door or somewhere in the bathroom where you wouldn’t see the toilet or shower.
Just put a lock on your bedroom door and call it a day.
NTA. It’s your private bathroom, he had no right being in there. He’s only mad he got caught, not that you filmed him.
I’m a light ESH, not because the roommate got caught naked – he went in your bathroom uninvited and he gets what he gets. Rule 1 of being roommates is to respect each other’s private spaces. I file this under those posts where a roommate barges into someone else’s room and is upset to find them having sex or masturbating.
I’m light ESH because other people who do have your permission to use your bathroom – girlfriends, friends, etc. Or even that particular roommate other situations (i.e. the bathroom he shares with another roommate is occupied, so he asks to use yours, for example) – those situations aren’t a “you came into my space so you get what you get” situation. Overall I agree with others that putting the camera in your room facing the door to the bathroom is what you should’ve done instead.
NTA. He chose to enter your personal space, knowing you did not permit it.
If he wants to pay the “you violated my trust” card.
Ask him this “If you hadn’t violated my room, would you have been on the video?” No.
This is the “you violated my trust uno reverse card”:
“If you hadn’t violated my trust and gone where you were told you weren’t allowed, this never would’ve happened. You violated my trust and your own trust at the same time.”
Check with your landlord and put a lock on your room door. Then, put a camera in your room that covers your room entrance and bathroom access. You don’t need to video your room mate in the bathroom (unless you’re into that, lol).
Your space was invaded, but there was no intention of malice. Touchy situation, but I would not conclude that you are the AH. Good day.
Honestly, I would have just bought a bedroom lock, or told them I have cams up, or angled it towards the floor.
You are n t a legally, BUT your towel was wet, so that means someone was showering, which means you were always going to catch someone naked in your bathroom on camera. So I don’t understand you not expecting this very scenario.
Is he ridiculous for invading your privacy and then complaining about his? YES. But there’s an element to thinking this out better that you didn’t do. He is way more of an AH but you could have handled this much better so that he wouldn’t be able to cloud the issue with his complaints.
So I gotta give an ESH.
NTA hopefully this discourages him.
NTA assuming you had no guests that would filmed without consent.
It would be e.s.h. if someone innocent got filmed in the crossfire.
You need to get a lock on your door, that prevents them from entering your room when you’re not around as well as the bathroom.
NTA. Funny that he values his privacy and not yours
You’re NTA for trying to prove / get evidence of the trespass but YTA for putting the camera in a bathroom, whether it’s your private one or not. It’s illegal in some countries and would be considered a breach of privacy. There may be laws against unlawful surveillance depending on where you live.
YTA You weren’t wrong for using a camera to catch the person accessing your room and bathroom. It’s just really wrong that you placed in the area in which you knew you would catch him naked and to position in in a way in which you actually did, rather than filming him in your room or when entering. You made an effort to film him naked and that’s wrong. Do you have a crush on him or did you want to humiliate him?
Why not just lock your bedroom door?
Nta it’s your room and they don’t have permission to go in it and him being caught naked is only because he broke the rule
ESH leaning YTA, you could have put the camera outside of your bathroom. WHY would you put it inside the bathroom unless you wanted to film them naked? That is absolutely fucked, massively out of proportion.
Esh?
they use your towels and try to leave them to dry dirty for you to use again 🤢
Camera stuff makes you look like a creep tho camera should not have been in the bathroom but showing entrance to bedroom… If that is truly the only way to get into the bathroom. This is like… Potentially repretation ruiningly creepy behavior if someone spun it the wrong way and only gave their side of the story. Also tons of people lie about deleting footage so I’d probably be paranoid about that forever…. I’d not break into someone else’s room much less do it nude tho
If you didn’t do it for sexual reasons I’m not calling you creepy directly but the behavior without context is very creepy and you can never fully trust someone else’s motives
NTA. Roommates should not be poking around areas not designated to them. They crossed the line not you. They would not be on film if they didn’t go where they were not s’posed to. What a couple of children you live with.
NTA but you could have easily put in your room facing the door and got the same information. Any bathroom is legally considered presumed private space so filming someone else is absolutely illegal
NTA he invaded your private space regardless of a camera being present and regardless of whether you were gone or not.
NTA, it was your private bathroom, which you alone was to use. Also, had you left it alone as one of your roommates suggested. It would not stop!
That said, install a lock. I looked it up and even though you had good reason, your roomie could still have a case as messed up as that sounds.
ESH
He uses your towel? They shouldn’t have used your shower and lied but they don’t have their own towels? But, not to beat a dead horse but the camera could have been outside the bathroom and provided the same amount of proof.
NTA except now you have to deal with unpleasant consequences. Obviously putting it in your bedroom would have been much better, hindsight being 20-20 and all.
Now there is a need for a chat. If they have cooled down a bit, you need to apologize for putting up the camera, but only if they come clean about using your bathroom. They need apologize for lying to you before, and even afterwards. The one said it was just this once. OK then, have him explain to you the wet towels that happened so many time before? Are they taking showers in the other bathroom and then going and hanging them up in yours? Even that is not in the agreement. And I don’t imagine it is in the agreement that they can also use your bathroom for showers whenever you are gone? So that excuse is just shit too. So he or both need to come clean about using your bathroom. My feeling is that since the other roommate is complaining that you were over the top, probably he is guilty of using your bathroom too. And using other people’s bath towels? That is just gross.
Trust is essential in roommate situations and living with liars is not easy.
NTA: if You pay the rent for that bathroom, then he is the one violating the House code, lets hope you signed a roommate agreement, if not, talk to owner and have him removed, trespassing is a crime too..
NTA …depending on where you live and the laws that govern the area, you could possibly have your roommate charged with break and enter , possibly mischief. Im not saying actually do that but rather do the research then explain it to your roommate if it continues. He may feel violated because he was caught on camera, but he seems to have forgotten that he violated you by breaking into your personal sanctuary being your bedroom. Your roomier should have been, and be more mindful of the situation. He didn’t even have the wherewithal to ask if he could use your facilities.
NTA but just put a 2 way lock on the bathroom door.
So he’s a trespasser and a liar. Fuck that guy
Obviously your roommate shouldn’t be intruding in your private spaces especially when you have forbidden them from doing so.
But I think the bigger question I have is : Is it legal to place a camera in your own private bathroom? Is there an expectation to warn people coming in that there is a camera watching them, either verbally or through a sign?
Perhaps someone with any legal knowledge on the above questions can enlighten me.
NTA they denied it was them so you quite rightly wanted to find out who it was.
They violated your privacy by invading your personal space and presumably stealing your products to boot.
You can’t expect privacy when you are trespassing in someone’s private space. Get a lock.
ESH
He shouldn’t have used your shower. But recording someone without consent, ESPECIALLY IN THE BATHROOM, is an asshole move.
You could have told them “Okay, I’m tired of finding wet towels that I didn’t use, I’m installing a camera in my bathroom to find out who is using it” and warned them. Just the threat of the camera there should have been enough of a deterrent to not use your shower/bathroom. And if they messed with the camera, you have proof they used your bathroom, right?
Also, the law might agree with your roommate about taping him in the shower, even if it is your private bathroom (does your rental agreement say anything about this?).
You are being gaslit. They are 100% in the wrong. If they call the police you should charge them with trespassing.
Locks
ESH
Your roommate is obviously in the wrong, and I think he is the bigger AH of you both. But why did you need to point the camera at the shower? If you have to go through your room, then why not have it in your room, or have it where it’s only facing the door to the bathroom? I think intentionally framing it so you’d catch him nude when there were other options was crossing the line.
Get a lock for your door.
Put a good deadbolt on the bedroom door and be done with it.
You unnecessarily crossed a line. All you needed was to put the canera in the room filming the door of the bathroom that would have proven use of the bathroom without violating his privacy
YTA
The camera should’ve been obvious to anyone walking in or placed in an obvious spot in your bedroom instead of the bathroom.
There’s a reasonable expectation that the camera would catch someone naked, so you’re liable.
YTA, it might be your private bathroom, and they were wrong for using it, but that’s a major line you crossed, and honestly, it seems like you intentionally violated them. Putting the camera outside the bathroom would have been just as effective.
IMO, that is borderline assault.
Get one of those keypad locks
NTA , the thing is he should not have been in your bathroom naked or clothed, they knew it was your private space , he chose to ignore that , he chose to be naked there , there’s nothing you should be concerned about.
NTA
ESH. You should have put the camera in your bedroom and pointed it at the bathroom door. In not a lawyer, but I’d be worried putting a recording device in your bathroom could be illegal, even if it’s a private bathroom.
Yta. Don’t agree with the roommate, but you could have placed it outside of the bathroom aimed at the door. And a lot of places have laws against this sort of thing should he sur. Also if that camera was connected to the internet anyone could have seen that there’s cloud storage and cameras do get hacked that’s why I unplug my pet cams when I’m at home and they’re only aimed at dishes/beds. Roommates definitely TA but so is this. Just lock your door.
ESH. They shouldn’t use your bathroom, but you could have put the camera in your bedroom, pointing at the door so you didn’t film anyone naked.
NTA. It’s too late now but I’d have said “I’m installing a camera in my bathroom because I like filming myself wet and nude coming out of the shower” and left it at that.
YTA – camera in your room would have been enough. Or a lock on your door.
You are not. If he respected you or your space this never would’ve happened. You had to install a camera because you live with a dishonest weasel. People like him always turn it around so that they’re the victim.
No cameras in any bathrooms. YTA
ESH
Roommate shouldn’t have been using your private bathroom, but you had so many more avenues to go through before escalating to camera inside bathroom.
Camera in bedroom, lock on bedroom door, or you could have even told your roommates you put a camera in your bedroom to scare them off.
I have no idea whether or not they can press charges, they were trespassing, but I am not a lawyer. Common sense says no.
I say you let it go for now, install a keypad lock for your bedroom door (or just get a new doorknob with lock that you can swap back to the original after) and move on. Find new roommates next time the lease runs out.
You pay for the room with the bathroom. That doesn’t automatically mean that no one can use your bathroom ever. There are three butts in your home. Would you let someone use the second toilet in an emergency? You all need to have clear discussions around house rules and expectations.
Who showers naked…Am I right?
NTA mate, he violated your space, he’s not entitled to privacy tell him to jog on , and the other room mate implying you should just let it go is just enabling his shitty behavior imo
Legally, your bedroom is your legal space. Just install a lock, it pissed my roommates off when I did it, and I was like “Wouldn’t matter if you weren’t going in there”
NTA…..your bathroom you can do whatever you want.
This is like the person who breaks into your house to steal but gets hurt then tries to sue the homeowner.
YTA for putting a cam in your bathroom. I understand the thinking behind it, but outside catching people going in would have been the better option. Having said that, have you considered…locks for your bedroom and/or bathroom? While you shouldn’t have to put locks on doors to keep roommates out – it’s a viable option that isn’t going to involve videoing people naked and unsuspecting in your private spaces.
NTA if someone get naked in someone else’s private space without permission then you have no expectation of privacy. Whatever about being filmed what if OP arrived home unexpectedly? then they would catch the live show. Does OP need to put up a sign in the bedroom saying CCTV in operation? Plus who uses someone else’s towel? That’s gross!
Not weighing in on whether it was right or wrong but just letting you know depending on where you live it might have been illegal. Most places have laws against putting any type of recording device into bathrooms. If you were wanting to see if someone was going in and out of the bathroom when you weren’t there a camera reporting the outside of the door would have been a better choice.
Nta – when you tell someone not to go somewhere, that includes going there naked, plus dude was using your towels that’s an invasion of privacy
NTA of course the people invading your private space and using your personal amenities that you pay extra for are going to say its not a big deal and you should just let it go.
But if it isnt such a big deal why cant they let it go and not invade your privacy?
ESH, you probably committed a crime by filming inside the BR. You should have just pointed it toward the entrance.
NTA. He crossed a line, not you. He thinks that an attack is a good self defense but it is not.
you should probably put a lock on your bathroom door op
ESH. I would have announced that you’re putting a camera in the bathroom or had one pointed at the bathroom door. Though, I think they’re trying to focus on your wrong so their own isn’t as obvious.
You’re paying for the bathroom, you stop the bastards from using it.
You weird asf you clearly already knew they were yea they probably shouldn’t have used your bathroom but cmon
NTA. The bathroom was in your room. He violated your space to use it and lied about it. Hilarious that he would try to turn that around on you when you literally did exactly the same thing back to him. Fuck him. How hypocritical.
Tell him you’re free to film yourself in your own private bathroom that you pay for and if he has a problem with it he can stop using it (and lying about it.)
It would hvebeen better if you had put the camera in your bedroom, covering the door – that way, it would still have identified anyne coming into your room without your consent without risking catching ssomeone in the bathroom.
An even better option would have been to install a lock on the door to your room.
ESH – him for sneaking into your room and lying about it, you for installing a camera and filing someone in the bathroom, especially as there were less invasive options that could have got the same result.
NTA
ESH
In addition to what others have said about camera placement, you also could have told them in advance you’re setting up a camera.
What’s more important? Finding out who it was or just making sure it didn’t happen again?
NTA. It is YOUR PERSONAL bathroom which means you can do whatever you want. No one is supposed to be in there anyways. It’d be a different story if it was a public or shared bathroom. For all they know you shoot bathroom vids for some old guy in Dubai.