I’ve been going through some things with my husband and it’s getting worse. I posted the dilemma on Reddit if you want to read it. But long story short, I start CNA classes in a few weeks. I was always considered the family mess up and my favors have ran out, so I rarely ask my family for anything unless it pertains to the kids.
My mom told my brother I start the classes and he gave me a call. He told me he was proud of me for starting again and asked how I’m getting to and from classes.
I explained that I was going to use public transportation. it just so happens that he was selling his car, he said I can use it until I finish my classes and if I finish he’ll transfer the title to me.
Tim Drives a 2006 Toyota mini van. I didn’t really use it because he always had it. The car my brother gave me was a 2015 Hyundai. Tim was pretty possessive of the van and because he works alot i couldn’t really use it.
My brother also gave me the condition that Tim can not drive it unless it was an emergency.
so literally after the first day I got it, I was in the middle of making the kids breakfast when he asked me for the keys. I asked why and he said he was going to use it today. I told him my brother said only I could drive it and there is nothing wrong with the van.
He just huffed and went to work, but later that night he said I haven’t been treating him like a equal partner and his feelings were hurt.
He has tried on two other occasions to get my keys. I literally have to hide the keys. But I’m honestly enjoying the freedom of going to forest perseveres, and having walks downtown.
This morning after the kids had left for school I was on my way to the museum because today was free and he literally yelled at me to give him the car. He thought it was unfair that i have a nice car.
He hasn’t really spoken to me since this morning. How do I handle this?
Comments
Divorce
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It’s not about your brother allowing it or not it’s a boundary that you’ve set and he doesn’t seem to respect your boundary. That’s the true issue here. I am speaking as a brother that is now a bit angrier at my sister’s similar situation.
It’s your brothers car, follow your brothers rules or deal with the consequences.
seems like all well and good with him keeping the van cause he works and then throws a fit when someone has somethibg he cant have. hella childish. stand firm to your brothers terms as its a huge blessing he is helping you
Yoru husband is mad he cant control you now because you have a vehicle. He alsomants to drive it because is newer than his. All of this screams disrespect and that he sees you as lesser than him. He’s not treating You as an equal partner.
Well if you want your brother to give you that car then you better honor his wishes. Just make sure you can live with the consequences of either choice you make.
Her brother’s gift is to let her borrow a car that is in his name. He will give her the car when she graduates. The car does not belong to OP. I assume Brother added her to the insurance but not her husband.
It is not your car. Your brother is loaning it to you. He has placed the condition on it that your husband cannot drive it. You will not get ownership of the car unless you meet the conditions and you finish your course.
Your husband is behaving like a spoiled petulant child. Treat him like one and ignore him.
Why is he so hot to get your car when he has a car? Humm – could he be jealous of the new found freedom you now have with transportation? I’m guessing if you let him use the car, an “accident” will mysteriously occur which would render the van undrivable – just a theory.
It’s still his car. He can say who does or does not drive it. What about the insurance? I’m sure your husband is not insured to drive it. Also, as soon as you get that nursing degree and can support yourself, leave this selfish prick
Your husband is trying to control you, now that you have your own car he can’t control you any more and he’s pissed. Your brother is trying to help you escape your abusive husband. And yes, he is abusive and controlling
Its time to pack up you’re new car and leave your controlling husband behind
You need to reframe that. This is not your car. It belongs to your brother and he said your husband can’t drive it. Considering your husband was hogging the family car he’s got a lot of balls trying to make you let him drive someone else’s car against their express wishes just because it’s newer. That’s why. It’s newer and probably an SUV not a minivan. He thinks it’s unfair his wife has a nice car. That’s an AH comment. My husband makes sure I have a nice car to drive but yours thinks he deserves a newer nicer car.
You realize if your brother follows through with his plan to give you that car if you finish schooling that your husband is going to steal it from you, unless of course he goes out and gets a newer car in the meantime. Why is your husband trying to sabotage you? You don’t deserve a nice/newer car than the 2006 Toyota van? That’s what he thinks of his wife, the mother of his children? That she doesn’t deserve a newer used car? I don’t think I could get past that personally. Most guys want their wife to have the more reliable vehicle, the newer one in case of a break down somewhere.
It is not your husbands car, it is not your car. Not yet. It belongs to your brother. Period. End of story.
What part of My Brother doesn’t want you to drive his car does your husband not understand? Tell him that if he drives the car even once your brother will take it back immediately. The car is on loan to you not your husband. Your brother loaned it to you so you wouldn’t have to take public transportation. Probably made the rule no husband driving his car because he knows what an AH your husband is.
Maybe you should just let your brother have his car back and take public transportation. That way your husband can go back to bogarting the family vehicle and leaving his wife to schlep her way everywhere through public transportation. At least you won’t have to hide the car keys from that jerk anymore.
You want to handle this? Get a better man. The one you have is defective.
It’s not your car. It was loaned to you.
Your brother would have needed to add you to his insurance policy and pay any additional premiums due. He may not have added your husband, which means your husband is not covered in the event of an accident. That also means he’s likely not covered even if its an emergency.
Having said that, your husband didn’t let you drive his car so why does he want to drive the one you’re borrowing?
And why is your brother’s rule bad? He loaned the car to you for a specific purpose. Not so your husband could have something to drive.
I don’t understand the problem.
It’s not your car. You don’t hold the title. Is your husband not smart enough to realize your brother will probably report the car taken without authorization if your husband does actually do this?
Why the fuck is your husband such an abusive bully and why are you tolerating it? Kick him out. Your brother is right.
Yuck! You are married to a narcissist, meaning there is nothing you can do… He will never change. Call your Bro, and let him talk to him about it. Again, yuck, I feel for you
“No.” If he snatches the keys and takes the car out anyways, call your brother so he can call the police and declare it stolen. It is still your brother’s car after all.
So he’s jealous that you are driving something better than him after hogging the only transportation you two had.
He needs to understand that as of right now, this is not your car, so you cannot loan it. There were conditions of loaning you the car, and you had the choice to agree to them or not use the car. Your husband should be happy that you aren’t using public transit, as it will make school easier.
We swap off who has the “good” car. We pay them off and run them to the ground. 2010, I got my charger. I’m still using it. Right before Covid. ‘Y hubby’s 20 yo SUV went up, so he bought a new truck, after we discussed price range. I didn’t care if it was new or gently used, as long as it was in price range. His is almost paid off. Mine is starting to show its age. He will soon be uncomfortable with me driving longer distances without him using it. So I’ll get my upgrade.
This is a fair thing. We aren’t in the days where the man had to have the better vehicle bc the wife barely had a reason to drive. He needs to grow up and be a real partner.
Maybe if he is good at supporting you through school and makes you starting your new career a bit easier by helping out and stuff, you two will be able to get him a newer vehicle.
Does he always have to have the better version of things you both have?
I never understood men who don’t let their wives drive to the point where they don’t get a second car, especially with children. You’re being abused. Leave him.
My advice would be to tell your husband that if he takes the car, Tim will report it as stolen and your husband will go to jail.
Your husband is abusive. Point blank. Your brother loaned you a car probably because he sees it as your way out of this shithole situation.
Under no circumstances should your husband have access to this car. Period
Your brother loves you and understands you’re having issues in your marriage.
Him giving you the car for your exclusive use is his way of supporting you without getting in the middle of your marriage
Your partner on the other hand is crashing out because with your CNA, he’s losing financial control and with the car is losing physical control of you.
You are adhering to the conditions for using the car. Absolutely NTA. Your husband’s disregard for that is a huge problem. I get a feeling this wouldn’t be the first time that he’s overstepped like this.
And you can’t use the van but he can use the car? WTF?
Your husband is a petulant child who enjoyed having full control of you. Now he’s jealous of the car your brother lent you.
I think you should really look really hard at this relationship. A spouse should be happy and cheer you on. Getting mildly jealous is one thing, of a newer, nicer vehicle, but getting angry and demanding it like it’s his right? Wild.
Explain that it’s not your car, it’s on loan from your brother. Brother’s car, brother’s rules.
> he literally yelled at me to give him the car. He thought it was unfair that i have a nice car.
He’s an AH. I strongly suggest re-evaluating your relationship with this man. I think there’s a reason your brother won’t allow him to drive it. This has the earmarks of a bad relationship where everyone else can see it but the victim (you). They’ve been gaslighted into thinking this is normal. THIS IS NOT NORMAL.
Your husband is a child.
One of the first things abusive men do is disrupt their partners’ transportation
Just keep enjoying the use of the car. Tell him one last time – as calmly and nicely as you can – that it’s not your car your car to give, it’s your brother’s, and he can’t use it. Period. You should also let him know that he needs to 1) stop trying to get the keys so he can use it without permission; and 2) stop being shitty to you because of it
If he continues being an a-hole about it (and I’d bet my next paycheck he will), then you need to really internalize the fact that the car is not the problem, your overbearing, selfish, controlling husband is
Your husband’s behavior is only going to escalate. He doesn’t like it now that you have the ability to go out an about without his say so. Wait until you finish CNA classes an get a job. He’ll find a way to take your money too. Start planning now. Get your own bank account. Hopefully your future job will do direct deposit. When/if you get your own bank account, leave the paperwork at your mom’s or brothers. Memorize the routing # and account # .
Leave your husband.
Your husband is abusive. Please recognize that first off, not helping you with rides or using the van was already abusive. Now he’s jealous, instead of proud or happy. This is why your brother doesn’t want him to use the car!! He doesn’t even sound like he likes you! Also, be careful, it sounds like he is escalating. May e have your brother talk to him.
As someone who also made a lot of mistakes in the past and also has used up all my favors; don’t let that “man” ruin what kind of relationship you’re mending with your brother. Don’t allow all the hard work you’ve put into bettering yourself and your situation be for nothing.
It doesn’t sound like Tim cares about you much at all.
Tell him, “It is my brother’s car that he is letting me use to go to class. You have our vehicle to drive.”
SMH why do women stay with men like this? I put mine on notice and when he continued the shit he got divorce papers. That’s all this guy would be getting from me.
He can’t control you anymore. And he doesn’t like it
At first I was thinking your brother’s a dick from the title. Nope. Your husband is.
Looking over your post history, what I’m seeing is that Tim has
Please don’t spare any more effort on saving your marriage, Tim is the one who isn’t holding up his end. And please, whatever you do,
DON’T LET TIM DRIVE THAT CAR. HE WILL WRECK IT TO STOP YOU FROM FINISHING YOUR CLASSES.
Your husband is controlling and manipulative – “his” car is the van and you never could use it – WTF, you’re married if he was home on the w/e or evening you should have been able to use the car
>
He just huffed and went to work, but later that night he said I haven’t been treating him like a equal partner and his feelings were hurt.Total manipulation – trying to make you feel guilty. He hasn’t treated you like an equal partner all along as he never let you take the van when he was home and not using it. He has been using that to make you stay home, No car, hard to get to school, probably hoping you would have dropped out because public transport would be a hassle
Now you have your own car and he can’t force you to stay home anymore —
Hide your Keys and if he finds them and takes car – call your brother and have him report it stolen by your husband let the police show up and take him to station – your brother would not have to press charges but it might make your husband realize he can’t control you.
And if he takes your keys and goes off to work with them make sure your brother has another set he could bring you.
You need to have your brother to list you alone as other driver on his insurance and HE needs to tell your husband that the car is exclusively for your use, he is not insured to drive it, and if he finds out he takes, he’ll report him to police for stealing it.
I think that is the ONLY way your husband is going to stop bugging you about giving him the keys
He’s mad because your car is newer and because he can no longer control you and force you to stay home because you don’t have transportation – which is what he has been doing
You do realize that can be seen by some as abuse – forcing you to be at home, not allowing you access to the car even when he wasn’t using it.
I’d think back to what other things he does to you that are controlling and manipulative and think about your relationship – there are all kinds of abuse. You may need to reevaluate continuing your marriage
Get your CNA so you have a job and money coming in – you may need it because he may become intolerable to stay with
All Just my opinion and how I would handle your situation if I were in it
I wouldn’t rely on hiding the keys. Can you or your brother install a kill switch? That way if he snags the keys it won’t start. But thats also a bandaid on the bigger issue of your husband being a pissy crybaby. You deserve better than what this man’s giving you
Your husband sees the car as your freedom.
He is not helping you become independent. He doesn’t want you to finish your education. He doesn’t want you out learning that the world has a bunch of opportunities for learning and growing. He wants you stuck at home.
You need to really look at your relationship and ask yourself if you want your kids to think this is a normal relationship. That control is normal?
Also, who is paying for the insurance on the car? Because it sounds like you are just borrowing this car from your brother until you graduate. Your husband sounds like a spiteful person who would crash the car if he ever gets the keys.
Your Husband is upset that you’re not treating him like an “equal partner” because you’re not letting him use your car, but he wasn’t letting you use his car. That’s not equal partnership.
I’m bot going to tell you that you should leave him or anything (I don’t know what the rest of your relationship is like), but this kind of gaslighting is a Huge red flag.
I’ve recently come out of a long-term relationship with some similar dynamics. I recommend you check out this youtube channel: DoctorRamani. She’s a psychologist who primarily focuses on Narcissistic Personality Disorder (or at least those are the ones that show up in my feed). This doesn’t necessarily mean I think your Husband has NPD, but there are similar behaviours. Whether he has NPD or not, understanding the behaviours and the methods of coping with them will help you to see where your relationship really is.
If he gets his hands on those keys, you will never drive the car again.
You need to remind your hubs, it’s not actually your car. It’s your brother’s car. Your brother said he can’t drive it. That’s it.
I used to have an ex like this and leaving him was the best thing I ever did. Your husband is being controlling and abusive. I’m guessing your brother put that stipulation on the car because he sees the abuse and wants to provide you a sliver of hope of getting out. Don’t give up your escape.
Husband wants to drive a nicer car? Then he can buy one…. This is your brother helping you by borrowing you his car. He has the right to set the rules of borrowing his car, you are right to uphold them. You husband needs to quit being a jealous manchild and quit belittling you.
Info:
Do you realize your husband has abusive tendencies twords you Or do you think everyone here is over reacting?
Congratulations on starting school!!!!
Wow, a car and your CNA. He is feeling threatened. You are honoring your brother’s request and pursuing your dream. Well done! Don’t capitulate and put your future in jeopardy.
Your brother doesn’t want your husband to drive his car for a reason, only you know what that reason is. That’s his car so he gets to tell you what his terms are in regards to his vehicle that he is kindly lending you. Do not squander this opportunity by violating your brother’s wishes. You never want to put yourself in a place where you have to tell your brother, Tim crashed the car, he got the car impounded, or having to explain to your brother why he saw your husband around town driving the car.
It’s awesome that you’re finally getting the chance to drive something nice and focus on your future. Don’t let him guilt-trip you; you’re allowed to have some space for yourself while pursuing your goals!
LEAVE before this gets physically abusive!!!!
Your husband hates you and he doesn’t like the fact that somebody cares enough about you to let you use a vehicle he deems you to be unworthy of. I hope you graduate and leave him.
Never share this car. Your brother has given you the freedom your husband took away and had no interest in giving you. Lock it hide keys and watch it because hubby will mess it up if he can
This is so gross. I would have made the same rule because your husband treats you like a doormat. Keep hiding your keys and work on moving out.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 girl, you don’t stand for this. He does not get to act like a toddler.
Your brother seems like a great guy with a good head on his shoulders. Obviously you can’t loan your husband someone else’s car and he just sounds awful in every way.
My sister’s husband is the exact same way it’s all about control. I just can’t wrap my mind around men like that. Just controlling narrsisistets
How do you handle it? Leave your immature husband.
Can you see how not normal this is??
Your husband wants to control you and cut you off from the world!
I would ask my brother to ring your husband so he can tell him if he take the keys and drives the car the police will be involved.
Your husband will wear you down-don’t let him. If he take the car YOU ring the police.
Reading this made me so angry.
He wants your car because he thinks he deserves the nicer vehicle and you don’t.
There is a very good reason why your brother has prohibited your husband from using this car.
You NEED it. Your husband doesn’t need it, he WANTS it because it’s nicer than his and he’s jealous that you have something better than he does. Sadly for him, since he has no ownership of or involvement with the vehicle, he’s got no leverage to use against you and can’t force you to hand control of it over to him.
So now he’s sulking and has resorted to gaslighting and guilt tripping over your “poor treatment” of him solely in order to manipulate you into giving up your car. Convenient that he’s raising these maltreatment complaints after you set boundaries that he wants to cross.
Think about this for a moment-
a) he previously wouldn’t allow you to drive his car. So forced you (and his childrenl) to use public transport or walk to wherever you needed to be. You were essentially restricted to depending upon him taking you, staying within walking distance of your house; or limited to visiting only those locations available via public transport. Any public transport use would be restricted to only the routes on which you could also make a return journey within very limited timeframe.
B) He has a functioning car- he has no need to use yours.
C) The owner of the car has expressly forbidden him from driving it unless it is in an emergency. BTW an emergency is categorised as being fire, illness or death. Your husband manufacturing reasons for why he urgently needs to use your car, don’t count.
He sounds very selfish and I would be seriously considering whether I want to remain with someone who thinks he should be able to take such an essential resource for himself – not because he needs it. He just wants it because naturally he deserves to have nice things much more than you do.
That man doesn’t give a damn that losing it would create hardship for you. As long as he gets what he wants.
If the car was taken away because he swapped vehicles with you, he’d simply take back his mini van. The problem of you being left car-less is really a you problem to him; it won’t affect him at all and he definitely won’t help you out or fix the subsequent transport and relationship issues you’ll suffer (that will be completely due to him).
Your husband is being manipulative and a jerk. I’m glad your brother gave you that stipulation because he probably knows your husband is controlling. His van was his prized possession and now he wants to flex in someone else’s car. If he wants a new car so bad he can go get one
You married a child
Say it’s an insurance issue-only you are covered by your brother policy and actually get on that policy!!!
Stop tiptoeing around this. Your brother’s car, his rules – simple as that. Your husband’s behavior isn’t just sulky; it reeks of control and entitlement. Don’t let him dictate how you live your life or undermine the support your brother is giving you. You deserve space to thrive without his constant interference. Set firm boundaries and make it clear that if he continues this nonsense, you’ll do what you need to reclaim your independence and peace of mind. Stay focused on yourself and those classes; nothing else matters right now.
If you were married to a reasonable person they would be ecstatic that you have a new and safe vehicle to get around town and to your CNA classes, which are going to better both of your lives. Being disallowed from using a car that isn’t yours in the first place is a small price to pay for your wife to have that flexibility and safety.
Your husband is acting like a child. You should leave him.
You talk to a divorce attorney. He is threatening you and trying to control you. Watch out for him to try and sabotage your classes. He doesn’t want you doing anything he can’t control.
Listen to your brother.
Do not under any circumstances let your husband have the key.
It’s not yours to lend to someone else.
It wouldn’t surprise me if the husband’s vehicle mysteriously and suddenly is rendered unusable. OP from a woman who has survived men like your husband make him take the bus if this happens. He had no problem with you on the bus so he should have no issue ĥimself taking it.
D to the I followed by V… You see where this is going.
He’s being abusive and controlling
Well lucky for you the decision is out of your hands. Your brother, the owner of the car who has given it to you with clearly defined conditions, has already decided that only you can drive it. There’s nothing up for debate here and no choice for you to make. You husband cannot drive the car.
Your brother understands that Tim is controlling and perhaps abusive. Your brother is giving you the keys to freedom and making sure your husband can’t take them away from you. He sounds like a good brother.
It’s not your car, if your husband wants to use it he has to ask your brother, not you
Divorce. The man isn’t right for you.
Don’t stop at CNA, get your MA or phlebotomy cert. lots of opportunity in nursing. Good luck. Your husband’s a dick.
Oh wow. Your husband is controlling, disrespectful & very selfish. Most ppl would be so happy for their partner & thankful that it’s something that will benefit the family. And as a family, you didn’t have to pay for it. All he sees is what he wants. Thats it. You already told him- your brother does not want him to drive it. So he thinks that means you should risk it all so he can be entitled- to something he isn’t entitled to? It’s ultimately your brother’s car & your brother does not want him to drive it. Make it clear that if he takes it without permission- police report. How incredibly selfish of him.
Tell him that the car does not belong to you and that it is titled in your brothers name. If your brother finds out that your husband took the car, he’ll likely call the cops and your husband will get charged with grand theft auto. Your brother gave you permission to use the car, not your husband.
On another note, I see a telltale signs of a controlling husband that is borderline domestic violence. A DV spouse is controlling to the point where they create spousal dependency. Trying to take the car from you is a form of control. I hope you continue to build your independence and freedom.
I think your brother knows you’re in an abusive relationship. Finish that course and divorce your husband.
Your husband is a sorry assed loser. The sooner you finish school and ditch him; the better off you will be.
Find a better husband
Where are you chicks finding these dudes?
You handle this by going to marriage counseling or seeing a divorce lawyer. Your husband is a raging AH who is losing his control over you. You are going to school & have a family who is helping you crawl out from under his abusive control.
Honestly best way is to wait till hubby goes pack all your shit into that car high tail it outta there and don’t look back that is not anyway to react to a brother helping his sister out and guess what if hubby could and would bro wouldn’t need to it’s his car he’s paying it he’s liable hubby knows understands this he’s not a toddler he’s manipulative controlling and abusive to you there’s no reason for him to ask for the keys never mind act that way because he got told no you have something you probably haven’t had in years freedom and a way and means to gain that freedom and better yourself
Those classes and that car are your ticket out of this unhealthy relationship. Keep the keys away from him and start saving money and a go bag. This is sounding awfully like an abusive relationship.
How do you handle this… you LEAVE HIM. The end.
Your brother is trying to help set you free. Keep hiding those keys . Finish the classes.
This is a sign to get out of that marriage.
He’s trying to control you, what you have from family, and things that aren’t his. Then getting abusive when he can’t get it.
Ridiculous.
Get a steering wheel lock.
You know why girls never do stand up comedy about crazy ex boyfriends? They don’t live to tell people about it.
No question here. The title of the vehicle is in your brothers name and he is letting you borrow it fkr now. You do not have the authority to lend it to someone else. Your brother is doing YOU a huge favor. Respect it. But do not put you brother in legal jepardy by giving your husband the keys. If your husband has an accident your brother is liable and it will damage your relationship woth your brother…and your controlling husband knows that.
Your brother CLEARLY doesn’t like your husband. There’s no other reason for why he said what he said. And based on how your husband is acting, I can see why your brother doesn’t like him. The car is meant to be driven by you. Why does he feel the need to drive it so badly when he already has his own vehicle? Weird as heck to me
So, how many times did your family tell you not to get with this guy or marry him? How much more will you endure before you divorce him? I’d push back and call him out on his stuff.
Get some therapy. This is not normal.
Can we start bets that the husband is why she’s considered “the family fuck up” and it’s actually at no fault of her own and her family actually just wants her to be safe and happy?
Can you leave your husband?
I think it’s very telling that your brother had that condition- he knew your husband would pull some kind of bs
You’re in an awful marriage with a horrible husband.
Please protect yourself.
The beatings will start next if not already happening? Screaming at your wife is ABUSE!
Brothers car. It’s his choice, not yours or your husbands.
PLEASE do not let your husband ruin this for you.
Why do people stay with these obvious abusers and bad people?
Leave as fast as you can if you can
You handle it by leaving him. That’s it. Why are you still with this man child?
Tell him It is NOT your car, it belongs to your brother
IF he takes the keys and uses the car, call the police and report it stolen.
This will not improve.
It’s currently your brothers car and you have it on a conditional basis, don’t ruin it by allowing your husband to use it.
You are in an abusive relationship. It’s time to make an exit plan.
Its clear there is more going on here…. Your husband kept you from having transportation because he wants to control you. Now that you have something nice he wants to take that away from you… That car is YOUR car. Just like the van has always been HIS CAR. in the end this is a bad situation that i hope you can work your way out of.
Your brother could see the future, hence the rule he set. He gave you a car because he knows your husband is an AH when it comes to letting you use his. He could have just as easily given your husband a car and your husband could’ve handed you down his old one, but that’s not what happened and now your husband is showing how controlling and jealous he is.
Complete school and get the title in your name only.
It’s your brother’s car, not yours yet. He loaned it to you with the caveat that it’s for your use only. You need to respect your brother, his property, and generosity.
You are going through a divorce. He has no right to demand you share anything that isn’t common property.
The car is not his. Its not even yours. Your brother specifically stated that Tim is not to drive it.
If he ever does take the car, report it as stolen IMMEDIATELY>
Your brother alone you the vehicle with stipulations you cannot break those stipulations unless you want your brother to take the vehicle back. Your husband is a man child
Op, your brother has set this condition because he absolutely sees the control your husband has over you. He is proud you are restarting studies because he probably hopes it will give you the means to be independent.
Your husband simply doesn’t wabt you to have access to any vehicle, because that gives you freedom of movement. He also wants tge car because it is better than his, so of course he should have it, becsuse he sees himself as mire important.
As to what you should do, is nothing. Let your husband sulk. Ignore him and don’t engage with him in further conversation about the car. Repeat ‘the car has been leant to me on condition you don’t use it. There is no good reason why you should drive it as you have your own vehicle. There is no point in discussing this further. Unless you wish to talk about something else, this conversation is over”
Be strong and stand your ground. Its not your car to loan out.
It’s your brother’s car. Your husband is NOT allowed to use it. Tell your bully husband to take it up with your brother, not you.
F-your husband. Treat him like the POS he is acting like. Remind him you had to take public transportation. The nerve on this man.
Your husband is an asshole. He’s trying to control you. Maybe consider leaving him.
Tell him to fuck off. Conditions are conditions. If he doesn’t like it, he can provide you with a car.
OP read ‘why does he do this’ by Lundy Bancroft, it gives insight into the minds of controlling men, how they escalate and it’s free online! Start a journal, express your thoughts, record HOW your husband inter acts with you & the children!
Understand the family finances & make sure there are no open lines of credit in your name!
Your brother is helping you with transportation & the fact your husband is trying to leave you without transportation is a bit of a red flag! Do not give in & make the keys are in a safe place
Wow. Why are you asking about a stupid car when it’s very clear you have much bigger issues (weighs about as much as Tim) to handle? It sounds like your brother is a good support network, so maybe you can use him as a buffer as you file for divorce because that’s what you need to do. Your husband is abusive and is angry that you’re not trapped in the home anymore. You need to make sure your brother NEVER transfers the title of the car to you because he needs to be able to report it stolen when (not if) your husband takes it.
He needs to understand that you don’t have a car. Your brother has a car that he is allowing you to use. There is quite a big difference. Now, if you wear, your husband are paying for insurance and upkeep then your husband may have a leg to stand up. But technically the car is still in your brother’s name so he can’t say much.