I don’t like sex, never have and likely never will. It feels great but I just don’t want to do it? If that makes sense… not sure if anyone else feels this way.
Anyway, I’ve been single for a while now with my last partner dumping me because when she asked if I liked having sex I told the truth and said no. I tried to explain that to me sex was about spending time with her and if she wanted to do it I’d happily oblige as she seemed to enjoy it. I’m honestly not sure what I missed here because with that she started crying and ended the relationship there and then. I did try to explain again a few weeks later but she didn’t even look at me when I spoke to her. Now this isn’t an issue with just her but other previous relationships too, not ending in the same way but having the same issue along the way.
Honestly, I’ve never been opposed to sex as I’m fully aware it’s a fundamental part to a relationship; I just find it hard to care for it. I knew how to make my last partner finish and it honestly helped me to finish too. To put it simply, I’d go out of my way to make sure they are satisfied but it seems like that isn’t enough as multiple women view this as a big issue. It’s honestly made me insecure and I’m not entirely sure where I go from here as I would like to start dating again. How do I go into a relationship without the same issue arising? Do I just be upfront and say I’m not into sex but I’m happy to satisfy them? or is that weird?
I don’t know but I will be putting myself out there regardless, it would just be nice not to be insecure over something so stupid.
Any advice is appreciated.
(I am male and in my early twenties)
Comments
Look for asexual dating (I am sorry I don’t know much about it)
Just be honest with potential girls.
This will greatly reduce the number of people you meet, perhaps you will find the one? I think it might be advisable to talk to an expert.
not everyone cares about sex the same way. Be upfront with partners: let them know you’re not into sex but care about their pleasure in other ways. Honesty and communication will help you find someone compatible and avoid unnecessary insecurities
Get your test levels checked dude
You need to take Steroids lol Testosterone Cypionate… in Moderation…. it will change your whole life and outlook.
I feel for most girls. It’s the feeling that they’re lusted for, and it makes them feel good about their body image / power balance of the relationship. For myself (28m), I get my pleasure from pleasuring my partner, but I also find them to be the most attractive individual on the planet and will do my best to show that every day. And for my experience or pov with sex, I don’t enjoy it for the feeling or the orgasm that happens afterward. Those are nice, but they’re fleeting feelings that go away. For myself, it’s the ultimate bond you can do, and being able to sync with your partner in that moment is pure bliss. 🤷♂️ my take on it for a way you can try to explain?
But I understand you’re lack of interest in sex, it would be categorized as A-Sexual ( a person who experiences no sexual feelings or desires, or who is not sexually attracted to anyone ) with that being said there’s plenty of people who participate in this category and they’re more so in tune with smaller physical intimacy like cuddling and kissing, while more so emotional security, and words of affirmation follow strongly on their love languages.
Which is another thing you could potentially explore. What’s your defined love language? How do you best like being loved? And what’s your favorite way of showing love?
Discovering that and figuring out who and what your comfortable giving could eventually create a bond or a soul tie to someone that makes you sexually attracted to them. These are mere suggestions and if they help I’m glad! 😁
If you take a look at the “Dead Bedrooms” sub on here, there are many, many dudes complaining that their partners don’t want to sleep with them. Many women, including myself, would prefer to go without or don’t necessarily need a ton of sex to be happy.
I’d recommend looking into asexuality, which is a sexual orientation just like being gay or straight. Being asexual is a spectrum, ranging from sex positive to sex neutral to sex averse.
Anyway, I personally think a guy who doesn’t want sex all the time is the holy grail. I’m sure you’ll find someone great who understands and maybe even feels the same way!
Yes, you can have an asexual/platonic partnership with someone or more than one. I know people that do it.
Look up alternative lifestyles with asexual partners.
There are just too many categories of partnership to list.