What if cop tells you, your wife has been arrested. What would you assume?

r/

Tried to ask the same question in r/women but they have strict rules. Too strict

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  2. Unusual-Shopping1099 Avatar

    I’m the victim of identity theft.

  3. GiveMeAHeartOfFlesh Avatar

    Probably that she is innocent or that whatever she did was right even if not legal. So I’d stand by her side without a doubt, figure out how we solve it.

  4. Hendrix1967 Avatar

    100% the cop was an asshole to her and she just stayed true to her nature.

  5. Bruce3 Avatar

    Someone touched one of our twins.

  6. IAmInBed123 Avatar

    I’d assume she hurt someone because he/she tried to hurt my kid.

    That or violation of portrait rights or something. 

  7. The_Lat_Czar Avatar

    She stabbed someone. 

  8. Ruminations0 Avatar

    I assume that my wife has been arrested

  9. stokeszdude Avatar

    She stole someone’s dog for not taking care of it

  10. Sustainable_Twat Avatar

    Someone finally did it

  11. dependency_injector Avatar

    She yelled at someone’s child for kicking a cat

  12. GTOdriver04 Avatar

    It would be a shock to me because I don’t have a wife.

  13. bigangryblkman Avatar

    Stranger Danger, because I don’t have a wife, and I don’t care how much candy you have, I’m not going with you

  14. Reckless_Waifu Avatar

    Illegal level of constant bitching. 

  15. klystron88 Avatar

    She reached her limit and just couldn’t put up with the shit from her coworkers anymore.

  16. Electric_Death_1349 Avatar

    Pretty bemused, because I’m not married

  17. DogAlienInvisibleMan Avatar

    Well if I truly love her I stonewall as much as possible then when he’s gone start burning any evidence she left behind. 

  18. phat742 Avatar

    she assaulted someone. probably road rage. she’s a good girl. lol

  19. UsedToHaveThisName Avatar

    My wife? Bunny? – Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I’m fucking married? The toilet seat’s up, man!

  20. Local_Ad2569 Avatar

    Who this bitch kill?

  21. MillerWoodside Avatar

    “I don’t want to press charges sir/ma’am, it was probably my fault she assaulted me”

  22. Neekool_Boolaas Avatar

    Someone who shouldn’t have been was running their mouth and caught some hands. Don’t know who yet…..

  23. tibbymat Avatar

    Drunken disorderly. 🤣😂

  24. gerryf19 Avatar

    Shoplifting shoes…..again

  25. Billy_of_the_hills Avatar

    That I have a wife, and apparently she’s black.

  26. Brave-Law-6754 Avatar

    My wife is smart AF. If she is going to break the law, she is going big. Like Breaking Bad times 10.

  27. kalelopaka Avatar

    I’m missing a child, or someone hurt one of our children.

  28. harslord Avatar

    Shes secretly a billionaire with unpaid taxes

  29. Dude98011 Avatar

    That they have the wrong guy. I’m gay

  30. zdh989 Avatar

    I would assume that someone tried to fuck with our kid and she unleashed hell on them.

  31. No_Equal_1312 Avatar

    Hopefully she isn’t talking to them without an attorney present.

  32. Kingboyy1 Avatar

    She’s committed a traffic violation for sure

  33. Expert-Hyena6226 Avatar

    Someone should tell her husband. We got divorced 18 years ago.

  34. principium_est Avatar

    She’s currently super pregnant and has always been a chronic rule follower.

    I’d assume she was pulled over for a minor traffic infraction for the first time in her life, she started crying/freaking out, and the cop decided today was the day to escalate it into an arrest.

    Less likely but possible that she punched someone for touching her belly after being told to back off.

    I’d ask for info on bail and then start researching civil rights lawyers.

  35. Mysterious_Winter164 Avatar

    Based on past relationships, I would say it was something incredibly minor that escalated to the point of being ridiculous. Like, she was pulled over for her license plate being expired by a week or a burned out taillight and the officer intended to give her “courtesy reminder” (not even a warning or ticket) to get it taken care of, but she flipped out on the officer about how he’s a liar and there’s no possible way her new sticker wasn’t on there, and went ballistic.

  36. SnooChipmunks2079 Avatar

    I would assume it was an error or some sort of traffic incident.

  37. Upstairs_Eagle_4780 Avatar

    She assaulted the Capitol (again).

  38. Fat-Villante Avatar

    Either protesting against some injustice or they’ve got the wrong woman

  39. MrWiltErving Avatar

    She was defending herself and whoever was around thought that she was attacking someone. No way i would marry a violent woman because i’m not a violent guy.

  40. Stong-and-Silent Avatar

    He was lying since I don’t have a wife.

  41. pr1vatepiles Avatar

    That somehow it was my fault

  42. FL_4LF Avatar

    Damn now I’m going to be working 3 jobs because of her dumb ass.

  43. DFWPunk Avatar

    I asked them if she’d stolen from her employer again.

    She had

  44. ImplementOk5708 Avatar

    So that is where my wife is getting those questions she is asking me from…I told her I’d assume she was trying to cross the Mexico Us boarder carrying steroids “WTF why?!”

  45. andlewis Avatar

    Probably someone stole her space in a parking lot, or she saw some sort of injustice and reacted badly.

  46. stormy2587 Avatar

    Confusion and concern for her wellbeing in that moment. And until I had more info the assumption that it’s some kind of mistake.

  47. torgobigknees Avatar

    sheesh, that sub is rough lol.

  48. serene_brutality Avatar

    Ok so not married, no girlfriend either. So I’ll go off my last relationship. Most likely DUI and/or possession. She’s young, irresponsible, likes to party and smoke a little weed. Weed’s not legal here.

  49. Nepeta33 Avatar

    RIGHT. wheres the body i need to help hide? also… who am i married to?

  50. WinnerAwkward480 Avatar

    That the Cop ended up having a BAD day for fucking with her , wouldn’t have wanted to be him 🤔🤣

  51. UnfortunateSnort12 Avatar

    She got into a fight over reproductive rights…

  52. MossIsking Avatar

    Illegal use of finger in traffic.

  53. DutchOnionKnight Avatar

    They would have their reason. I would go to the policestation, ask for information, and would get the best lawyer I would be able to pay for.

  54. captcraigaroo Avatar

    My wife went outside? No way

  55. Secure-Pain-9735 Avatar

    Stabbed a subordinate or salaried management.

  56. ProblematicTrumpCard Avatar

    I’d assume the cop was lying. That’s what they do.

    Other option is that he’s too stupid to understand who I am, who my wife is, or what “arrested” means.

  57. TheCarniv0re Avatar

    [ Removed by Reddit ]

  58. Arctic_H00ligan7 Avatar

    That she killed a guest at her hotel.

  59. Rworld3 Avatar

    Definitely road rage.

  60. fishing21754 Avatar

    I’d have one free night before I got her out the next morning.

  61. RedWhacker Avatar

    She’s innocent.

  62. seaburno Avatar

    Doing 120+ on the highway on her way to/from work.

  63. laika777ftw Avatar

    I have a fiancee so not wife quite yet but I would be very puzzled because she’s on city council where we live and in the almost 7 years that we’ve been together I don’t believe I’ve ever seen her break a law. I would assume that it’d be something like she got so heated and passionate about a local political issue that she finally snapped and took her rage on some poor soul though.

  64. Evil_Stromboli Avatar

    She finally caught the asshole stealing her work lunch…

    …She works from home…

  65. timsstuff Avatar

    Probably beat someone’s ass for trying to steal her phone or grope her or something.

    When we first started dating she told me she was recently arrested and spent the night in jail. This dude was stalking her and found her after a baseball game, grabbed her phone, she proceeded to beat the shit out of him trying to get her phone back, some bouncer at a nearby bar called the cops, they came and arrested her instead of the fucking asshole causing all this. No charges or anything she was free to go the next morning.

    After she told me I was like damn, sounds like you got the bad deal on that one. I found out who this guy was and have a file on him. If I ever see him around it’ll be my turn. But that was like 10 years ago so I doubt anything will happen at this point.

  66. az987654 Avatar

    Doesn’t matter, what does she need

  67. DaddyXiii Avatar

    That she threw hands at a bigot in a convenience store after a night out at the bar

  68. Salty-Pack-4165 Avatar

    ” what did she do?”

  69. BasketFair3378 Avatar

    Cool, cooking for one tonight!

  70. loneiguana888 Avatar

    She saw a bush with pretty flowers and decided to pick one to put on her dash. Turns out the bush was some federally protected plant.

  71. ilovebooobiesssssss Avatar

    She 110% crashed her car into someone’s car and ran.

  72. HiKennyDesign Avatar

    Indecent exposure again?

  73. mentaL8888 Avatar

    I’d assume the position, whatever she did I know I’d be right in the middle of too.

  74. BigDirkDastardly Avatar

    She’s been suckin dudes off at the rest stop again. I thought that spot on her cheek tasted different than tapioca pudding. Fool me for the 27th time…

  75. Four_in_binary Avatar

    She finally resolved her conflict with her arch-nememis. 

  76. Delicious-Ear8277 Avatar

    I would smile and say they have the wrong address.

  77. Wrath-of-Cornholio Avatar

    Oh good, they finally outlawed adultery! Meh.

  78. Well-inthatcase Avatar

    Ever seen the episode of boba burgers where Linda goes to jail because she had to poop and couldn’t make it to a toilet so she shit in a bush?

    Probably that. She has IBS.

  79. 60sStratLover Avatar

    Haha. Knowing my wife? Assaulting a police officer.

  80. DeaddyRuxpin Avatar

    She beat the shit out of someone that got handsy with her.

  81. LimitedSwitch Avatar

    She probably fucked up some racist for calling her a slur or degrading Latinos.

    I’d gladly pay the bail and find a good lawyer.

  82. Outis918 Avatar

    I don’t have a wife so I’d be really confused and assume someone used my information to falsify a marriage for whatever reason.

  83. Mediocre-Studio2573 Avatar

    Nothing until she called me.

  84. Beware_the_Voodoo Avatar

    He’s mistaken me for somebody with a wife

  85. kylejohnsonks Avatar

    That she hired a hit man to kill me but he turned out to be a cop. Because let’s be honest here, if she were actually able to pull that off, I wouldn’t be around to hear she’d been arrested.

  86. PunkCPA Avatar

    Our lawyer will argue self-defense.

  87. Saltysailor76 Avatar

    That they fucked up and or someone is lying. My wife is the definition of a proper graceful lady. 

  88. InterestingTank5345 Avatar

    Time to get the popcorn and find out what this drama is about.

  89. redditavenger2019 Avatar

    “You mean they found her?”

  90. No-Profit1069 Avatar

    I don’t have a wife. But if it were my ex wife I would assume she was driving drunk.

  91. Efficient_Advice_380 Avatar

    I’d be confused because I dont remember getting married

  92. Marus1 Avatar

    Could I get a ride to the police station? You see, I’m still single, sir, and so that would seriously speed up my dating process

  93. nikdahl Avatar

    I would understand that the cop is a bastard, and would assume they fabricated a reason to arrest her because they were offended by something she said.

  94. WindowLongjumping529 Avatar

    She can be a crazy bitch. So I would assume anything from petty theft to mass murder.

    Babe I love you. You know I’m joking.

  95. ergoegthatis Avatar

    High end escorting, because she’s pretty hot.

  96. MooseRyder Avatar

    My wife has a problem regulating emotions and a heavy moral compass. So if she was wronged, she’d typically lose her cool and that the charges were disorderly conduct or battery

  97. BaldPleaser Avatar

    I’d breakout into that Kool & the Gang song – Celebration 🎉

  98. RegisterAfraid Avatar

    That I had finally sent her to the point of snapping

  99. ThisOneTimeAtKDK Avatar

    MY WIFE?? Assault. Defending someone weaker than her by kicking the living shit out of the attacker. So while it wouldn’t ACTUALLY be assault….thats what they’d need to charge her with until the charges get dropped

  100. Dragonwork Avatar

    That she had a panic attack in traffic and drove onto the grass or down the sidewalk trying to get away from the congestion.

  101. BoerInDieWoestyn Avatar

    I would someone threatened her sister and she fucked them up. My wife fiercely defends her family and just because she hasn’t gotten physical with someone yet doesn’t mean she can’t or won’t.

  102. perpulstuph Avatar

    Either a scam, or she finally snapped and went postal on her mom.

  103. NiteTiger Avatar

    Definitely that she went overboard protecting the kids.

    My ex was so sweet and kind, 4’11, soft spoken. I mean, she was a nurse in a care home, and the families would send cards and presents for holidays even years after the patient passsed.

    Except when it came to the kids. Then the Italian came out. And not the passionate, expressive, Italian with hand gestures and flamboyant curses. No, this was the Sicilian, who will cut you.

  104. BasebornBastard Avatar

    That she’s innocent or justified and I need to keep my damn mouth shut until I have counsel as well.

  105. Ebvardh-Boss Avatar

    What are you, a cop?

  106. no_user_ID_found Avatar

    She defended herself against an attacker with the self defence attributes I gave her.

  107. payasosagrado Avatar

    If the internet has taught me anything it is that she’s drunk and resisting arrest because she was a Karen about something

  108. Kimolainen83 Avatar

    Sheis Bipolar so, I would assume a lot of things

  109. lucksh0t Avatar

    That aint my wife u got the wrong dude

  110. Oceanbreeze871 Avatar

    For my ex, Drinking snd driving.

  111. Queer_Advocate Avatar

    B&E and she’s getting 3 hots and cot. I’d slide some dough on her books and call it good.

    JK I don’t know anything about women.

  112. nim_opet Avatar

    Presumably the cop would use proper punctuation. And I’d be surprised to hear the news, what with not having a wife and all.

  113. Angry_GorillaBS Avatar

    Oh she 100% got in a fight with someone

  114. nickl220 Avatar

    Somebody slighted our toddler in some way and she lost her shit on them. 

  115. External-Analysis-31 Avatar

    She, along with her sister, were arrested at a protest rally.

  116. MRicho Avatar

    A ‘Karen’ like outburst.

  117. Long-Ease-7704 Avatar

    She finally snapped and beat the shit out of a drug addict harassing people.

  118. Direct_Bug_1917 Avatar

    I would sigh heavily. Because I just know I’m going to get yelled at because whatever it is it’s my fault.

  119. Jayu-Rider Avatar

    That ICE detained her.

  120. ifdggyjjk55uioojhgs Avatar

    She’s definitely a scammer. Because I’m not married.

  121. AnonoForReasons Avatar

    Haha. Nice try. I invoke my marital privilege to not testify against my spouse.

  122. 0peRightBehindYa Avatar

    I’d assume she witnessed someone being a racist or abusing animals or something.

  123. whitney_80 Avatar

    She slapped the shit out of someone. That’s what I would assume she has done

  124. LavenderDay3544 Avatar

    That I must’ve gotten married during some crazy bender I dont remember and to a criminal wife no less.

  125. OGCarlisle Avatar

    my wife handled business. i trust her with my life.

  126. SgtSplacker Avatar

    I would not believe a thing a cop tells me.

  127. Uncal_Thal Avatar

    A terrible misunderstanding.

  128. avega2792 Avatar

    The dog and I get the bed all to ourselves tonight.

  129. gingerbeardman1975 Avatar

    I’d assume she was driving drunk. She’s definitely an alcoholic of the binging type and thinks she can drive in any state. I hate it but it’s true

  130. baumrd Avatar

    She fought a bitch

  131. ScottdaDM Avatar

    I would wonder why she didn’t call me to help get rid of the body. I trust her judgement, and if she kills you, you had it coming.

    I can’t think of any other reason for her to be arrested.

  132. SomeSamples Avatar

    I would assume she killed someone that attacked her.

  133. Old_Leadership_8919 Avatar

    Sorry officer, I don’t have a Dick or a wife.

  134. Nolongeranalpha Avatar

    That there weren’t goats or tacos in the van…

  135. tc6x6 Avatar

    Back when I was married I’d assume she had gotten pulled over for DWI and then got mouthy with the cop.

  136. AfraidofReplies Avatar

    They wouldn’t, her lawyer would because she’s smart enough to shut up in front of cops. 

  137. Crowned_Toaster Avatar

    If she has our son, then very likely someone tried to do something to our son, and she went rabid. If she doesn’t have our son, she probably got into a petty fight over a minor inconvenience.

    Aside from going rabid on someone who involves our son, my wife is too soft to randomly brawl.

  138. lupuscapabilis Avatar

    Had an accident in the car and panicked and drove off. She panics if a tree branch falls in the yard.