I’m a non-Japanese who’s spent 16 years, essentially my entire adult life, in Japan. AMA.

r/

I came to Japan in 2009 and have only been back to the U.S. three times since then. I’m conversationally fluent in Japanese and am married to a Japanese woman.

There’s nothing especially interesting about me otherwise, but I know how many Redditors seem to love the idea of living here, so I thought it might be worth it to answer a few questions. So, what do you want to know?

Edit: Thanks for all the questions, everyone! Hope I could offer some useful insights, and sorry when I couldn’t. Was a fun first time AMA experience!

Comments

  1. emmmmmmaja Avatar

    What‘s your job and would you say you’re fully integrated (meaning hanging out with mostly japanese people, speaking mostly japanese etc.)?

  2. Far_Table_5738 Avatar

    You telling me a shrimp fried that rice?

  3. HygieneWilder Avatar

    Over there in Japan times, what have you found that you most can’t the least?

  4. emad07306 Avatar

    How hard it is to find a job I have been living in the states for about 25 years and I have some good amount of money saved out I do have my masters in business analytics, would really appreciate your advice thanks 🙏?

  5. Cearball Avatar

    Do you have to deal with any racism as a foreigner marrying someone local?

  6. MiVitaCocina Avatar

    What’s your favorite thing about living in Japan? Also, what do you miss about living in the U.S?

  7. Flowerofthesouth88 Avatar

    How many hours do you work in Japan as a teacher? And what do you in your spare time?

  8. diamond_strongman Avatar

    Do women like American men in Japan?

  9. Comfortable_Swan64 Avatar

    Are there really talking toilets in Japan?

  10. Public-Life6632 Avatar

    Was it always a life goal of yours to live abroad, whether in Japan specifically or in another non-Anglo country? What were the events that led to the current trajectory for you? Has life worked out how you thought it probably would?

    And, what’s a cross cultural marriage been like for you? What are the successes and what have been the challenges?

  11. JohnnyLovesData Avatar

    Does living predictably give you peace of mind ? Or do you feel constrained ?

  12. Zealousideal-Oil4115 Avatar

    Have you experienced racism whilst in Japan? Is racism commonplace in Japanese culture?

  13. notsurewhoandwhy Avatar

    why did you choose to stay in japan? what stands out? is the quality of life better here than back home?

  14. Otherwise-Plum-1627 Avatar

    But are you white or asian?

  15. wkndatbernardus Avatar

    Does your wife work as well? How expensive do you find the cost of living?

  16. despiert Avatar

    Experiences with/impressions of Japanese spirituality?

  17. Legal-Source-3763 Avatar

    I’ve been living here for just over 3 years! (2 in Fukushima, the rest in Chiba and then Tokyo!) What do you think has changed the most over the past 16 years? Even in the last 3 years I’ve felt the cost of living getting higher and higher, I can’t imagine what it was like 16 years ago!

  18. psyk738178 Avatar

    Do you think Japan is going to be more strict on allowing American tourists in? Do you ever get blocked from going into restaurants because they think you’re a tourist? 

  19. EatTrashhitbyaTSLA Avatar

    How is it dating over there? Is it easy to meet women, and close the deal? Not meaning this question in any disrespectful way, just curious since you were a local and I’m sure speaking the language

  20. nozappyplease Avatar

    Does there seem to be a decent path to visiting as a tourist? I know almost nothing about Japan except the social and night life scene looks kind of fun, and I see all kinds of Japanese food posts on YouTube that intrigue me. Knowing zero of the language is kind of intimidating.

  21. Still-Thing8031 Avatar

    In your opinion how true is it that they are somewhat xenophobic, sorry couldn’t think how else to word it.

  22. ExtremeDangerous4592 Avatar

    I’m in my late 40s looking to move from USA to Japan. Can I still get a long term visa to move there as an English teacher? I went to a good college if that means anything.

  23. gddd5v Avatar

    How long did it take you to be fluent in Japanese and what was the most effective way you learned it?

  24. CheeseburgerWalrus86 Avatar

    Did you know Japanese before you relocated there?

    How are Japanese sporting events (I’m thinking more along the lines of how spectators behave) compared to the US?

  25. smilebig553 Avatar

    What race are you? I noticed that you said they don’t show their racism, and was curious if it’s because you are either Asian or white.

  26. 3zprK Avatar

    What’s the main reason of declining birthrates in Japan (in your opinion)?

  27. BRiNk9 Avatar

    What’s something about Japan that still surprises or frustrates you even after all these years?

  28. FieryPheonix474 Avatar

    Would you consider yourself Japanese even though you weren’t born there?

  29. MittRomneysUnderwear Avatar

    一般的に、日本人が微妙だ!と 適当だ!っていうと、英語でどのような表現に通訳するの?

  30. NoNormals Avatar

    If username checks out what’s your favorite fish to catch? Best conbini in your area? Any tips for learning Japanese?

  31. moo00ose Avatar

    Why did you move there in 2009?

  32. Helpoisson Avatar

    Hey need, I’ve almost spent my entire adult life out here, since 2007, only went back once. I tried to do an AMA about naturalization and people accused me of lying lmao you’re getting a lot better responses than I did.

  33. Gonzotrucker1 Avatar

    Have you applied for citizenship? My brother also lives in Japan , and is trying to get citizenship.

  34. insertsavvynamehere Avatar

    How do your rights differ? For example, is there a first amendment equivalent?

  35. FaithlessnessGood10 Avatar

    Do extremely tall people attract as much attention as some people say? I am 2m tall and my friend who lived there said I would be stared at a lot.

  36. WestLondonIsOursFFC Avatar

    Has your American accent slipped at all? And do you find yourself thinking in Japanese?

  37. Level-Selection6986 Avatar

    How long did it take for you to be fluent in Japanese? I assume you work in Japan. Is it really grueling, as most people say? Are you able to tolerate it, or is it just a minor thing for you.

  38. Zeros9618 Avatar

    Is it true about the machines with private clothes or the establishments catering for adult experiences or is it just prejudice against Japanese culture regarding sexual activities?

  39. No_Sir_6649 Avatar

    Unagi. Yes or no?

  40. RefrigeratorFar2769 Avatar

    How accessible was it before you had become more practiced in the language? I’ve always wanted to visit but not be super touristy, but I know the non tourist spots probably don’t have a lot of English around

  41. GilbertT19 Avatar

    How difficult did you find the Japanese language learning process and how long did it take you roughly to get fluent in it?

    Also despite living there for 16 years, do you still get treated like a foreigner visiting sometimes rather than a regular local?

  42. neko819 Avatar

    Heeey same boat since 2006! Also recommend getting a masters of education online and go into uni teaching. It’s the only way out of eikawa or ALT, you might not be so energetic for in 10 years… I can’t do eikaiwa anymore…

  43. Foxx111222 Avatar

    Are you at citizen of Japan? Did you revoke your us citizenship?

  44. StealthyDodo Avatar

    You mentioned you go out on the weekends. What’s that like? Do you go to clubs or bars and how is the general atmosphere? Are natives more approachable when going out at night?

  45. andrewcottingham Avatar

    Is it common to own traditional wooden furniture with all that fancy Japanese joinery? Or does everyone just shop at a Japanese equivalent to Ikea.
    Ikea is king in Canada

  46. theTexasUncle Avatar

    What are some aspects of Japanese culture that has taken you 16 years to understand and appreciate?

    What are things you liked when you first arrived, but you now changed your opinion about?

  47. jodkalemon Avatar

    How is dating in Japan?

  48. Waste_Party_2354 Avatar

    Do you know of any people who had criminal records/DWI in their home country but were able to obtain student visas (to study Japanese) or visas to teach English?

  49. BonusParticular1828 Avatar

    Why are you cheating on your wife, seeing that you are on dating apps less than one year ago?

  50. CheezitCheeve Avatar

    What would recommend for someone who wants to learn the language and potentially do graduate school there? My university doesn’t offer any courses, so it’ll have to be through different methods.

  51. HappyCamper_2020 Avatar

    Where were you born and raised?

  52. HappyCamper_2020 Avatar

    How much do you earn per month post taxes?

  53. LittleLight2772 Avatar

    This is a very loaded question so don’t feel pressured to answer this!

    What are the bad parts about living in Japan? I already know about the red light districts and all of that but in your personal experiences, what are some things you can’t stand or seem to understand?

  54. Horatius_Rocket Avatar

    In your three Stateside trips, what sort of reverse culture shock did you experience?

  55. Horatius_Rocket Avatar

    Have you gotten into any aspects of traditional Japanese culture? If so, what did you learn from it?

  56. loescheIchMorgen Avatar

    How much do you earn in your position in Japan?

    And what is your plan for retirement? Here in Germany a lot of people need to save up to cover their pension gap, due to aging society (I guess similiar to Japan)?

  57. Mdoubleduece Avatar

    Are there still Popeye hamburgers around Japan? It’s been a few decades since I’ve been there.

  58. Historical_Sweet5407 Avatar

    What made you decide to move there and stay on for good?,

  59. br1015 Avatar

    Is it true when you quit a job in Japan, as sign of respect you most apologize to your bosses and colleagues. Heard horror stories of jobs in Japan mistreating their employees and under paying wages?

  60. Sad_Palpitation_4959 Avatar

    Is it true sex dies with kids in general with japanese woman and then they have affairs? How does this work?

  61. RebornSlunk Avatar

    Apologies if this has already been asked – what kind of jobs are most in-demand for foreigners in Japan asides from English education? Are companies generally open to hiring foreigners for all kinds of positions?

  62. A11U45 Avatar

    How spicy is Japanese food compared to western food?

  63. raungood Avatar

    I’ve heard finances are a big Gen Z concern. And they are skipping kids to stay stable? Is that a current trend?

  64. This_guy_Jon Avatar

    I married my Japanese wife recently and she’s moving with me to the states. How hard would it have been for us if I had moved to Japan? Was here moving to the states the better option? In my mind it’s the whole grass is not always greener. I have gone several times to visit but I know that doesn’t fully paint the pros and cons.
    Thank you in advanced

  65. LisanneFroonKrisK Avatar

    How many of your daily meals is sushi? When Japanese pick sushi when sashimi

  66. GuiltyUniversity8268 Avatar

    Konnichiwa! What’s your favorite part of living in Japan? And your least favorite part? Domo arigato!

  67. ThisIsNotWhoIAm921 Avatar

    What’s your residency status in Japan? I guess since you have a Japanese wife, you are considered a permanent resident there?

  68. Warmasterwinter Avatar

    Can you pass as Japanese?

  69. Mimi_luna Avatar

    I see a lot of street interview videos where Japanese people say that cheating is normal in Japan. Is it true?? Even in the comment section of those videos people say that cheating isn’t a big deal over there

  70. wasabi-rich Avatar

    Four questions:

    1. What is your biggest misconception about Japan before your trip to Japan?
    2. According to your experience, what is average Japanese’s biggest misconception about your home country?
    3. What can Japan learn from your home country? In other words, Japan can learn any positive whatsoever from your home country for an improvement on Japan.
    4. What can your home country learn from Japan?
  71. mainmale11 Avatar

    Do you think are there any Foreigner working in Japanese bank? I’m currently working at Japanese bank in my country and considering the probability to move to the head office

  72. Extaze9616 Avatar

    How hard is it to meet Japanese woman who are open to dating you?

  73. joshua0005 Avatar

    How did you manage to get the right to move and work there?

  74. JojoJack-san Avatar

    It seems like Anime and Manga are getting a reputation in the states and online about the depictions and usages of high schooler or minors in scenarios that could be deemed by others, in non-Japan areas, as ‘sexualization.’
    So much so, that Texas has a passed a bill that would banned anime/manga if they deem the material as CSAM, for the sake of ‘protecting the kids.’

    My question is as teacher, does your student care about any depictions of high schoolers in any anime or manga that smutty or raunchy with nudity? Or is this a situation of a western culture not understand Japanese’s method of storytelling?

  75. tigerwarrior90 Avatar

    Does your wife still work? Is she very transitional? I know japanese wives will cook and even bathe they husbands

  76. stealthnyc Avatar

    Are you white, Asian, or black? That can make huge difference on your experience

  77. NEVER_LACKING Avatar

    Would you be willing to help me find and buy a Toyota chaser jzx100 there and have it shipped over to Pennsylvania?😬

  78. Suzy_My_Angel444 Avatar

    Is Japan what you expected (based on prior knowledge)? If not, what surprised you?

  79. earlyriser928 Avatar

    Is Japan pretty dog friendly?

  80. nousernameworks1976 Avatar

    Have you been to the ice festival in Sapporo? If not, I def recommend

  81. HempBlonde Avatar

    Only a handful of years ago I learned that where I live in Canada we shockingly exported almost all Japanese people during WW2 and put the rest into work camps. Yet, today, there are some young Japanese people around, just as many as any other nationality. It surprises me they aren’t uncomfortable about it given the recent history. Do you notice any racism against North Americans around you?