College sister and 4 friends are coming for a concert and want to stay in my apartment (where I live with my wife)
It’s a decent sized apartment but my wife works a lot and we don’t get many Friday nights alone, and it just seems weird having 5 college girls staying here. I guess we could put 2 king air mattresses in our guest room but it just doesn’t seem super practical?
My mom and my sister think I’m being selfish since “they’re going to be super quiet and respectful” which I actually think they would be. I feel bad cause my sister has helped me out with a lot and is super nice.
I offered to let her and 1 friend stay but 5 seems excessive. Just seems weird to have 4 random girls pooping in my toilet, brushing their teeth in my sink, and using my shower.
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College sister and 4 friends are coming for a concert and want to stay in my apartment (where I live with my wife)
It’s a decent sized apartment but my wife works a lot and we don’t get many Friday nights alone, and it just seems weird having 5 college girls staying here. I guess we could put 2 king air mattresses in our guest room but it just doesn’t seem super practical?
My mom and my sister think I’m being selfish since “they’re going to be super quiet and respectful” which I actually think they would be. I feel bad cause my sister has helped me out with a lot and is super nice.
I offered to let her and 1 friend stay but 5 seems excessive. Just seems weird to have 4 random girls pooping in my toilet, brushing their teeth in my sink, and using my shower.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I’m not letting my sister’s friends stay in my apartment and I’m the asshole because I’m not helping a family member, especially one that’s helped me a lot.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
Letting your sister stay would be fine but 5 people total in a small apartment would be a bit much
NTA, Your lease almost certainly has limits on overnight guests. You’re not at all being unreasonable by refusing to put your housing at risk to save her the cost of a hotel room.
Nta. They should have thought about lodging before they bought the concert tickets.
NTA. It’s your apartment. You’re not obligated to let anyone stay overnight. And even if it is a larger apartment, 5 overnight guests is probably more than you can comfortably accommodate.
Your offer to let your sister stay and bring one friend is fair. You’re not a hotel.
Meh. NTA. It’s your apartment, and you can choose to let them stay or not.
But honestly, it would be a great memory for them and not too much effort for you. Tell your sister you only have the one guest room (offer air mattresses if you like but not necessary). I’m assuming they would be getting ready for the concert, going to the concert, coming back to crash, and then leaving the next day. If that’s the case, make them some snacks for getting ready, stack some extra pillows and blankets in the guest room, and make them brunch the next day. It shouldn’t be that bad. I still remember the road trip I took in college when myself and eight or ten friends crashed in the basement family room of one of the girls on the trip. It was uncomfortable at the time, but a sweet memory years later. I still randomly send messages to my friend reminding her to thank her relative for hosting us.
Again, you are in no way obligated to host and are not the AH if you choose not to do so, but hosting really won’t be that bad, and they’ll have a great memory with you as the reason.
You are definetly NTA for considering and choosing convenience, comfort of your home and setting limit of accomodation
nah you not wrong bro, 5 college kids takin over your spot is OD. that’s not a sleepover, that’s a full Airbnb booking 😂. you already offered her +1, that’s generous enough. your crib ain’t the group hostel.
i can see both sides… i mean, NTA on the part that is ur house and ur rules… thats for sure, but if u actually saying that u know they will be quiet and respectful, and u own ur sister a lot, etc… i kinda feel like you could just give this 1 to her, the worst thing that could happen is that u gonna have 1 awkward morning and u gonna end up being the super nice big brother to her… i dont see the biggie there
Five extra people in your home is a lot, and you already compromised by offering space for two.
I cant think of a valid reason not to have them stay with you for just one night.
NTA. Your sister plus a friend or two is one thing, especially if they were friends you know. Five extra people, four of whom are strangers, is a logistical nightmare no matter how polite or quiet they promise to be. I don’t even want to think about coordinating shower and toilet usage for seven adults in one apartment.
INFO You mentioned that your sister has helped out a lot in the past. How?
NTA. It’s your home. But it’s for one night. Do you know what time they will arrive and leave? They may very well just plan on not arriving until after the concert, crashing in their clothes and then heading back once they wake up.
My sibling asked if she and 5 friends could crash at my place (two bedroom apartment) overnight on their way up to the snow. I said sure. A storm came through and they ended up spending the weekend. They just crashed on the floor. The only “problem” was that they each took a shower the first morning and tossed the towels in a pile on the floor. I walked in and saw the pile, walked back out and said “unless you all want to do the laundry, if you want showers tomorrow, I suggest you go hang up your wet towels because that’s all I’ve got and I’m not washing them”. One by one they each went in and picked up their towel and hung it up to dry (I still laugh that not one of them thought “I’m in here, I’ll just hang them all up”).
Otherwise, we had a great weekend together.
NTA, if you don’t want them there, you don’t want them there. However, I would let them stay. Especially since you say they’ll be quiet and respectful. It’s one night.
Question: would it just be for one night?
Regardless, I’d say NTA since it’s your house, but if it’s just one night and you know they’d be quiet and respectful it might be worth considering it. If they’re going to be out at a concert or otherwise doing their own thing, especially out late into the night, you and your wife might have alone time anyway.
What does your wife think? NAH since there’s nothing wrong with your sister asking.
Eh, I personally would do it but I am super close with my sister, I would do the favor, or offer to pay for their hotel room.
Ik 2 air mattresses doesn’t seem practical to you but they’re college girls who will probably be fine with it. If you think they will be terrors or have had past negative experiences then NTA, if you don’t have a valid reason other than not wanting to help them then a maybe not a serious ah but if you ever have a favor you need from her she probably will be not inclined to help out…
Is it only one night? If you do think they will be quiet & nice this seems like a relatively easy ask and sometimes you just gotta go out of your way to accommodate family, and they go out of their way to accommodate you?
INFO: What is your wife’s opinion on this? How many nights?
NTA but next time you need help your sister may not be so generous either.
NAH since it is a request and you compromised, but t is just for a night, right? Like, they roll into town, drop their stuff at your house, come by late at night, and leave around noon. She is your sister and you seem to love her – it might be nice to get to know her friends or at least do a favor for her.
It’s one weekend. Be a good sibling. Lots of college kids are poor and can’t afford a hotel.
What are you, 98? Chill, black hole of negativity! YTA here
Why would you not? You say yourself they’ll be respectful, they’ll get to make great memories and stay safe and you’ll get massive karma and maybe some feels.
You can say no, but why would you?
Man, just help your sis out for one night. Don’t you remember being a poor college kid at one time? If they are disrespectful or messy, then never again.
Its one night you said you know they would be quiet. You said she’s helped up out a lot. Again its one night. Help her out and let her know it’s a one and done for a large group, but she’s welcome alone anytime. YTA
NTA
You’re not obligated to let them stay. Despite that, you’re willing to compromise.
Also, having so many extra people staying there, could violate your lease agreement. Assuming you’re renting.
As the homeowner/tenant. All of their safety would become your responsibility.
Soft NTA it’s your home so if you’re not comfortable doing it then don’t.But you did say you had some air mattresses you could provide meaning you have thought about it and have a solution if you say yes. Personally one night and you trust her word I’d do it.
Are you and your wife on the same page? Are you close with your sister?
I’d say soft YTA. If it’s one night after a concert they’d prob get to your place super late and just need to crash for a few hours. You said she’s been there for you and you think they would all be respectful. College kids don’t have a lot of extra income so they probably don’t have the funds so staying with family would help financially. I would host my sibling.