My boy died. Yes he was emotional, he was sensitive, but those are not crimes.
Just need to get thoughts off my chest. The sadness is forever suffocating, especially in the nights, especially when the world is silent and asleep. Especially in festivals, when people are happy, and yet despair chews my heart away. My family was happy. Now it is broken. The siblings lost a dear brother too. They cried for months.
29 July 2024, I said my last goodbye to my boy. He went off to school, went through some ‘fact finding’ disciplinary process. He supposedly hid a friend’s belonging in the garden. God knows what for. His own belongings were taken and hidden before. Previously he was pushed down stairs, came home bleeding, bruised too. Singled out to a conference room. Questioned by teachers. Searched. Asked to write a statement. No parents. No counsellor. He cried three times that day. He did not pull through emotionally. Took his life after school, falling 16 stories down. Just 13 minutes after dismissal. Covered in blood, organs ruptured, 14 fractures, cried in pain. He laid silent in the arms of a pastor after he was turned over. He was declared dead an hour later in hospital.
I cooked lunch for him. He was late. Hospital called. School called. Rushed down. Dead.
Discipline is important. But tears are important too. He was only 11yo. He deserved to live. To be understood more deeply. Emotional distress ate him up, too young to properly cope. His teachers told us he appeared ok after his different crying episodes stopped. Cameras captured him crossing a traffic junction. His face was very sad.
How I wished we had been told earlier when he was singled out from class. How I wish we had been told earlier when he cried. How I wished he had been seen by a counsellor. How I wished we have been told to come to school and fetch him home safely. We could have supported everything better.
How I wish when we post suggestions for better emotional care in school to teacher communities, we do not get blamed, my dead child blamed, and judged in death. That it is his own problem or ours. I was not seeking blame, simply hope to advocate for the sensitive ones, so that my boy’s life is not lost in vain. Teachers are overloaded after all, we understand. But emotional care is important too.
How I wish this is all a dream which I will wake up from. That he will return one day, happy and smiling. We still have so many years together, unspent. We were supposed to go pet shopping after school. Went to morque and cremation instead. So many nights I dream of him alive, only to wake up to a deep sinking feeling in my heart, a realization it’s all a dream.
Why can’t the world be kinder, more compassionate, have more empathy, for sensitive kids like him? He had good conduct through the years, topped in science and math, helped his friends, took care of his siblings, well loved by classmates. Introverted, sensitive yes, but he wasn’t a bad egg at all.
And yet, all left of our child now is his ashes in his bedroom, his soft toys on his bed, and his memorial blog.
It unfair. So unfair.
The world continues. I can only stand still and cry. Nothing to bring him back.
Can only blame myself. Should have brought up a more hard hearted child, instead of a softie he was. He was normally sooo chill. No one saw it coming.
Wrote this post to help relieve the pain, even if it’s just a little, for a little while. At least he is heard in death. Thank you all for helping through this difficult journey, even though we are thousands of miles apart from one another.
But really, there is no point in blame. Kid is gone. Flaming, doxxing, pointless. I can only pray parents, schools, society can improve and do better for the next child.
Disclaimer: This post reflects our family’s personal understanding of the events surrounding our son’s death. We do not claim to present an official account, and we acknowledge that other perspectives may exist. Our intention is not to assign blame or make any legal claims, but to share our experience in the hope of encouraging positive change and greater empathy for children’s emotional well-being.
Comments
I am so sorry for your loss, I am out of words….
That’s fucking tragic dude, I’m so sorry. I can’t even fathom how devastated you and your family must be. I hope none of you ever have to go through something that painful ever again. I wish you the best, stranger ❤️
I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your son. This world is ugly and does not have empathy for anyone. I also have a sensitive child and they are so easily labeled. I hope you find peace and I’m sending you a big warm hug through this screen.
As always said…
İn no language there is a word to describe your pain…
All you can do is stay strong for your other kids…
When someone loses a parent they’re called an orphan. When someone loses a spouse they’re called a widow. When someone loses a child, there is no name for them because it is simply too horrific, it is a loss that defies words.
I am so sorry for your loss and I hope one day you can find peace.
I’m so sorry for your loss
Holding you and your family in my heart. So so sorry for the loss of your son. 🫂
That was an awfully sad read. I’m angry for you, the lack of empathy towards your son from the teachers is disturbing. How could they not at least approach him differently. An 11 year old!! I’m so sad for you and I know exactly how you feel, to lose a child at the hands of another person. Life is just one sad rollercoaster. It’s cruel and not fair 😞💔
I am so sorry you are going through this, and that he went through that episode of complete and utter sadness. May you find peace and comfort knowing his sadness will never find him again.
The things we will do for our kids know no bounds.
I’m so sorry for your and your Family’s loss I can’t even imagine what that’s like I wish you and your family all the best 💚🤍
That’s a pain no patent should have to bear. My heart hurts for you and you are absolutely right. They’re should be more emotional care and more compassion for the sensitive ones.
I just want you to know I heard you and I am thinking of your son today. He won’t be forgotten.
I have been a high school teacher for decades, and very little shocks me anymore. But the way your son was treated by teachers and administration is shocking, hurtful, and despicable.
Normally, I would suggest filing a complaint with the principal, and if that didn’t resolve the issue, I would escalate it to the superintendent.
However, there is nothing anyone in the school district can do to remedy this. The damage is done, and it’s permanent. Your son died. And I am so terribly sorry about that.
I suggest that you get an attorney to discuss filing a lawsuit against the school district and, perhaps, the teachers and administrators that were involved in the harsh and inappropriate treatment of your son.
Write down every single detail that you can remember with dates and times. Be as specific as possible.
Keep all correspondence from the school, and take screenshots of any text or emails. Also, take screenshots of the dates/times of phone calls the school made to you about this situation.
You can contact the State Bar in your state for attorney recommendations. You may want to meet with several attorneys to see what they recommend and choose the best one for your situation.
I’ll finish by saying that I have exclusively taught juniors and seniors in high school for the last 20 years, and I would never chastise and humiliate a child the way your child was chastised and humiliated.
Treating an 11 year old child this way is horrific and inexcusable.
My heart breaks for you.
I’m so very sorry for your loss ✨️
im sorry for your loss 🙁
im so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry OP. No parent should have to go through that. Your story really resonated with me.
I don’t know which country your child attended school in, but here in the UK I feel there is definitely a lack of empathy and understanding for sensitive children.
The school system is very underfunded and the teachers are basically fighting a battle for control and authority every day due to low staffing levels, which makes it hard to treat every child as an individual and give them the time and patience they deserve.
I don’t blame the teachers ( I saw in one of your posts that you don’t blame them either) but children are definitely suffering.
My child has Autism and rejection sensitive dysphoria. He’s smart and feels things really strongly. He is no longer in school because they would not let us attend a special school for him, and he eventually got “burn out” from trying to fit into a system that wasn’t designed with his needs at heart.
He is now totally socially phobic, agoraphobic, won’t leave the house, terrified of all people except me, his grandma and his dad. He’s nearly 9. We are waiting for a place at a special school where they might be gentle and kind and patient. We have also started a course of antidepressants / anti-anxiety medication because he was developing thoughts of self harm and was clinically depressed….at 8 years old.
Children deserve environments where they are understood and treated gently and with compassion.
I cry when I read your post OP, I’m so sorry. I’m out of words, your loss, your pain, your son’s struggles … everything.
I wish you the best.
Am so sorry for your loss, sending you hugs and love ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I just read the memorial. He is a beautiful, sensitive, caring child; I can see it on his face. You did an amazing job parenting him. Your love is felt in every word
It breaks my heart as a former educator, and now a psych worker with children. You boy should have been taken care of more by the school, and yet you don’t seem to hold malice towards them. You’re good people.
I’m so sorry for your loss. The world lost an amazing human that day. But he will live on with you and your other children.
No words can be put together to correctly show how terrible it is to have lost him in that way. I’m glad his story is out there and that you guys are looking to change things in schools. Your hard work and his story will certainly save other children. But I’m still so sorry for your loss.
I hope you’re able to continue to heal and help others. I hope you find peace, as well as your boy finding peace. I’m not religious, but I fully believe he’s no longer suffering and will reunite with you one day.
I am so sorry for your loss. As a mother of 5 sons my heart truly aches for you so much this post brought me to tears. I hope you are able to one day see light again. Teachers don’t make enough money for the responsibility they have. There is not enough support for mental health for students and teachers, especially when these people are with our kids 8 hours a day. Sending love ❤️
I am so, so, so sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to imagine how much you’re hurting.
I’m so sorry for you loss.
Im so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you.
Stay strong for the kids who are still here.
I have no words. Im so sorry for your loss. I am so sorry this happened to your poor son and your family. Im so sorry this world is so evil and cruel.
Im so sorry OP 😞
I am so very sorry, I don’t know what else to say
Sorry for your loss. I am honestly lost for words. This was so hard to read. RIP Lil Man
i’m so sorry for your loss. take care
The words I’m sorry just don’t seem enough. My heart and thoughts are with you and your family.
Nah those people need to be held accountable. Who treats an 11 yr old like that?
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please get an attorney as soon as possible and do not do anything (contact school, superintendent, school board, etc.) until then.
This is heartbreaking i am so sorry
I’m so deeply sorry
My deepest condolences..
I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you.
I have no words to help you pain. My heart breaks for you. Stranger, I don’t even know you but I wish I could take away your pain. Your son didn’t deserve any of that. He should be home in your arms.
I am so sorry.
Please find some time to take care of yourself. Parent should never have to bury their child. I’ve seen what that kind of pain can do to a person.
I’m so sorry for your loss. There are no words to comfort you, as I understand your grief.
🤍
They made him feel worthless. You made him feel loved. This is not on you. Sue the school and administrators for traumatizing your sweet child.
Sending you love and light
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine the pain you are in.
My father a few years ago was singled out as a half deaf male nurse of 50 years. He started to show signs of slowing down, hearing was worse, memory issues, etc. – never told anyone.
His work started to threaten him that he needed to do better, but it’s a disability. He was looking at not being able to support himself. After that he called his doctor, who wouldn’t fit him in. His requests for disability he paid for over 50 years, never processed. Just months and months of treating my father like shit. After his write up, he stormed out pissed, hung himself in the garage.
It’s their fault – I will place blame. If one person in that long chain of bad decisions with zero compassion for another human did one thing right, he’d be alive today.
If the doctor, his employer, or coworkers all could have said something he’d be here right now. We as a society can do better.
I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you can push for change, but in my experience it’s futile.
Oh I’m so so sorry this happened to you. This hurts me as a complete stranger: I can’t fathom how terrible you must be feeling.
I am sorry for what happened to your poor boy, and I wish you the strength to go through these tough times. We really need to normalize talking about our feelings more especially for young men who have a lot of trouble with this and get told to suffer in silence.
I’m so sorry for your loss
very sorry for your loss. may you get the strength to bear this.
You have my heart. My absolute heart.
there are no words… :’(
May your baby continue his peaceful rest. I do think you have a good legal case if you’re in the states. The school district should be held accountable for not contacting you sooner.
God Bless and don’t fault yourself. Soft is good, soft is kind. Your boy was perfect just as he was.
I cannot even imagine your pain. My condolences. I, too, have a sensitive boy. Your words will be held in my heart and I will proceed with your caution. For that I thank you.
Heartbreaking I don’t think I could live with the feelings you describe ;(
I am so incredibly sorry. My hearts breaks with yours.
This is heart breaking
So sorry for your loss, unimaginable. Find the best plaintiff’s lawyer in your town that you can. Ask around, he or she is out there. Don’t just take the first attorney that you see on a billboard.
I’m so sorry for your profound loss. I can imagine only a fraction of what you must be feeling. As a parent myself, I know how much worry we have for them and we cope by not expecting something so terrible to happen to them, so the pain you’re feeling is indescribable. I’m hoping that memories of him will one day soon be a comfort to you. May you and his siblings find comfort and strength together as you share his memory and keep it alive in your hearts. 💙
I can’t imagine…
🫂
Sue them into oblivion and protect the other children.
This is terrible
Im so sorry
I am so very sorry for your loss. I’ve lost a son, I know this pain. Be his advocate! You should have been called. I have no other words 💔🙏🏻
There is nothing I can say to ease your suffering. But please know that you have been seen and your son’s story will remain in my closest thoughts for quite some time 🤍
He’s worth every tear. I’m sorry for your loss.
Sending you a massive hug, I have no words but sending you as much love as I can. I am so so sorry ♥️
Sending hugs 🖤🖤🖤 wishing you and your family peace.
My deepest condolences, I’ve lost a lot of people to time but I could never imagine how hard it must be to lose a child.
The only thing I can leave you that may help is a quote that helped when I lost my parents.
“Yes death, death must be so beautiful, to lay in the cool brown earth with the grasses waving above ones head, no yesterdays and no tomorrow’s. To forget life, to forget time and to be at peace. You can help me, you can open the portal for me of death’s house, for love is always with you, and love yes only love; will ever be stronger than death.”
My heart breaks for you. No child deserves to go through that. No parent deserves to go through what you’re going through. I can only offer condolences and wishes for peace.
I’m so sorry, big big hugs😘😘
My heart goes out to you but hope you put other children in regular school. They regulations compared to religious schools
♥️
I’m so sorry. As a parent, you did the best you could for your boy and he knew that. I cannot imagine the pain you and your family must be experiencing.
I am so sorry 😞 this is genuinely my fear for my oldest daughter, she is only 8 and has been struggling for a long time. Schools do nothing, I know theyre overworked, but..
I’m sorry for your loss, that’s terrible to go through. Get a lawyer and figuratively burn the school and school board to the ground. The teachers are administrators also need to be held personally responsible. Best of luck to you and your family.
So sorry for your loss.
So hard to be young today, such a different difficult world, my heart breaks for the youngsters. 💔
This is not right, i am so very sorry. i hurt for you, so very much. nothing you did was wrong, the world is so very fucked for this so have happened. he deserved his kindness to be embraced!!!
Your child was not too sensitive or soft. You did a great job raising him.
All those adults at his school failed him. Not you. You did not fail him. They did.
It’s not your fault. The school are to blame. I have no words 😭
I am so sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry this happened. My heart is broken for your son and you. I have an 11 year old son who struggles with his emotions and has had difficulty in school because of it. I know it doesn’t really help to say any of that, but I do hope you’re able to find a way to cope. I’ll be thinking about both of you for a while, I think.
Tears are streaming down my face. I am so, so sorry.
So sorry for you and your family’s loss. This world should be kinder and love more I raise 2 of my grandchildren and one is hard as nails and the other is so very soft I worry about him daily.
I am sorry for your loss
Sending hugs OP. Im so sorry to hear your poor boy felt like he had no other choice but to make that decision. Especially alone at school.
Thank you bringing up a sweet, kind hearted child. You are NOT to blame. So unfair. My heart is aching for your family.
I was singled out and picked on by faculty in 6th grade. My heart is breaking for you and your son and I’m so sorry.
Mine are all sensitive, like how you described your son. And I am fucking TERRIFIED for them, every day. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to crush that sensitivity, but I am so worried about them. I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope one day you will find peace.
I’m so sorry
I’d start with the names of the interrogating teachers
This is horrifying and I’m so so sorry for your loss. As the mother of a very sensitive boy as well this hits hard. There were days I worried about him feeling this same way…wanting to end it all, he struggled so much. But he finally got help and is a lot better now.
This was not your fault. And I doubt he was “a softie” (turns out mine’s on the spectrum, was what we would have called Asperger’s so it goes undetected but soooo sensitive) and trying to make him “hard” would have pushed him away. Again, I’m so sorry.
I can’t begin to fathom this kind of pain, and I ditto the others on consulting a lawyer to see if these ghouls can be held accountable. I also thank you for mustering the spoons to write this. I have a sensitive child, and tho I want him to experience school and friends so much, I know imma have to pay attention, especially closely 😔
I am so very sorry ❤️
Oh my gosh ♥️ I’m so sorry for your sweet son. Please don’t give up the work you have started in order to enact change in the system. It is so important and the way your child went is avoidable. My heart goes out to you and your family
I am so sorry for your loss
OP, I’m so so sorry for your loss. I don’t know what else to say. I’m just so sorry. For you, for your family, for your poor innocent boy who never came home. 💔
So sorry for your loss, 🙏
Oh no! I’m so so sorry. How absolutely awful to lose your dear child in this dreadful way.
I simply do not have the words other than “I’m so sorry”…(((hugs)))…
I am so sorry.
I am so so sorry.
That is heartbreaking I’m so sorry for you and your family’s loss ❤️
Jesus christ I am so sorry
Good God please tell me you will find a lawyer and sue this school out of existence. Do it to protect other children. These teachers are criminals.
Mammoth, please don’t think that the world is now cold and cruel.
I hope I took just a miniscule piece of your pain away, since I broke down after reading your words.
I am compassionate and sensitive.. and I promise to hold an extra supply of empathy in my heart, and spread it daily in your son’s honor.
Sending you unconditional love and hugs.
I completely understand what your son felt because I had gone through that when I was exactly his age and in fifth grade I got in trouble for playing games on my Chromebook and this is way back in 2017 mind you but I got in trouble playing on my Chromebook I guess during
when we didn’t have free time or something. I just played during class, but cause didn’t care. But years later, I realize how trivial it was to be in such trouble that I was for doing that when I got in trouble, they looked in my entire search history to see what game I played and were starting to like markdown times and dates when I was doing it And basically made it seem like I had put somebody in the hospital or committed a war crime of some sort all because i played coolmath and some happy wheels during class.
I get being in trouble but it coulda been they take away my chromebook for a week or 2 and say “oh well if you didnt play on it during class you wouldnt get it taken away.” And thats it
Instead they made such a big deal about it
Made me cry hysterically
Called my mom and everything
All just to do what i said and take it away for a week
I guess they were trying to scare a kid into not doing it again but what they did to your son was just too far
That whole school should be punished.
I am so sorry for your loss ☹️ I know that grieving is a universal feeling, but I’m sure a grieving mom grieving for their child is just on a much more level of sadness, guilt, and pain.
Tight virtual hugs from me to you, op 🥺
There are no words to truly comfort or help you cope with your extraordinary loss.
Public schools in the United States have Duty of Care responsibilities. Every single adult involved in the events leading to your boy losing his life should be held accountable.
Justice and the law all apply in public schools. I hope when you have the strength you will involve the media and a pack of attorneys who will ensure those responsible for emotionally abusing your son will be held accountable.
Teachers?? Teachers took him into a room all by himself and “questioned” an 11 year old boy? That’s not something I learned in teachers college. I don’t know how those “teachers” can continue on normally with their lives knowing they contributed to your son’s death.
They have licensed professional counselors. When your boy became distraught, a counselor should have been there.
I’m so fucking angry on your behalf and so incredibly sorry for the excruciating pain you are experiencing.
legally, the school should not be allowed to see your son for disciplinary matters like this without you being there if I recall correctly.
i lost an 11 y/o sibling it is such a devastating age to lose someone. they still had so much of the world to experience and plans to enact. im so sorry your family has to know this grief. there are no words.
I’m so sorry
This could have been my child, who sounds similar to yours. I cannot imagine what you are going through. There is nothing I can say, but I am sending internet hugs and positive vibes. Remember the good times and cherish the beautiful memories. Write them down when you’re ready so you don’t lose them with time
I’m sorry for what they did to a child. Your child.
I hope you are able to get justice for him.
Im so sorry you and your baby were failed.
I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine the pain. Some souls are just too good and sweet for this world. You should be proud that you raised a soul with a sensitive heart ❤️
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry. I don’t even know what to say and I can’t even imagine this pain. I’m so sorry. Truly
I am so so sorry. I’m so sorry.
My hearts for you.
The school is to blame.
I have no words that would help… my heart & soul just wants to deeply hold you and your family. I am so phenomenally sorry
I’m so sorry. Some people are just too good for this awful world. He was a beautiful person, and you raised a perfect child, he didn’t need to be tougher, the world is the problem not his sweet soul.
I am shattered for your loss. This is not fair and it is not right. We are not collectively good enough at schools for every child, and that has to change.
I’m so very sorry. My heart breaks for you, person I’ve never met. What terrible pain.
On my right shoulder is a tattooed memorial to another sweet and sensitive boy. He was my first little brother, I was the first person to hold him aside from his mother after he was born. The room was dark and quiet, I was so young that my feet couldn’t touch the floor of the rocking chair I was sitting in. He was so good. Just through and through such a good, kind soul. There wasn’t a mean bone in his body. As he got older, we would be such goof balls together. Our mothers were best friends and we were raised side by side. He was as much my blood as anyone else in my family. I loved him fiercely. I was so, so proud of him as he started to grow up: compassionate and decent and smart. He would be 30 today, and without a doubt still the kindest soul I’d ever met if he were here. His name was Seth.
But life wasn’t as kind in return as it should have been to someone like him. He was 19 when he took his own life in the parking lot of his family church. There had been abuse going on at home at the hands of his step father. I didn’t know. We were still close but I didn’t know. He never said anything about it. It was all kept hidden behind closed doors. I can never shake the feeling like I should’ve known. Somehow I should’ve known. I would have stepped in and gotten him out of there, moved him in with me, something, anything. But I didn’t know. The day before, I remember I saw a Facebook photo of him in a suit, smiling that goofy smile, all dressed up to head off to his first real Big Boy job. And the first thing I thought was, God I am so proud of who he’s become. And I actually went to type out a message to him saying just that-and then I became distracted by something banal and didn’t. He was gone the next day. Some part of me went with him.
I died a thousand deaths when I found out he was gone. But there’s no words to describe what I felt when I found out it hadn’t been an accident or a medical issue. That he had taken his own leave. No words. No words at all. And all I could think-all I can think now years later is I should have known. I should have stopped it. I should have saved him. And yes, the world did indeed stop. I couldn’t help but wonder how it wasn’t grieving right along with me. How? How could people still function? The sweetest kindest soul I’d ever known had left for a fairer place, and the world was lesser for it.
He’d always loved my tattoos and we had recently talked about getting one together, swore we were gonna go and get ink side by side. He’d gotten his own first one a few months prior, a lion on his right shoulder, but he told me how much he wanted more, just like me. So I kept to the plan and got a lion with his name beneath tattooed on my right shoulder. I wish he could see it. He would’ve been so surprised and delighted and probably emotional to see this big whopping testament of my love for him permanently on my arm. I loved him. I loved him so much. And he went somewhere I couldn’t follow him to until it’s time for me myself to finally head off to the next great adventure.
I cannot imagine what it feels like to lose a child like this. Losing a brother was hard enough. My heart aches for you, friend. I wish I had words of comfort and healing but we both know they just sound empty in this time of loss. But what I will say is, please don’t blame yourself. I know it’s hard not to, but grief is hard enough without the burden of needless guilt on top of it. And I say needless because this is not your fault. You raised a kind soul, a good soul, but you did not raise the rest of the world sadly, and can’t help that as a result the world wasn’t nearly so kind or good like your son was. You had no way of knowing what was happening. This failure lies squarely on the shoulders of a school that should have done so much better by him and didn’t. But you did your best by him. Teaching him to be gentle wasn’t a mistake. It was a gift. Too many of us humans chose hardness over goodness. You taught him love and he knew love because of it. Be proud you raised your child to be different to the terrible norm. This is not your fault. This is not your fault.
I know these next few years will be the hardest you’ve ever known, and that this pain never truly goes away, but time does ease it. It truly does. Give yourself love and patience right now. You deserve the same gentleness you taught your child. What finally gave me and those who also loved our Seth comfort was knowing that one day, we’ll find one another again. Death doesn’t stop love or cease familes being a family-it just delays being together for a while. You will be together again some day. And in the meanwhile, I truly believe that those who have moved on are somewhere as good as they are-somewhere soft and kind and gentle-somewhere full of light and love where they are restored to wholeness again. I know it sounds so cheesy, but I believe with all of me that these sweet souls find respite and relief where they are. And that once it’s time for us to go, they come find us again, happy and whole.
I’m sending you all of the love I can. Focus on your family, honor him with your love, hold fast together with those who also love him. Grief is meant to be communal so don’t shut yourself away. Lean on one another. Continue to teach goodness and kindess to your children. Don’t let this make you hard and cold, even though it would be so easy to be-continue raising your children in love and gentleness, because the world needs so much more people like them, like you, like your son. Teaching them to be decent, compassionate humans will never, ever be a mistake-it will be one of the greatest gifts you can give them. And again please, don’t blame yourself. You already have the world on your back. Don’t add to that burden needlessly.
Now take it one day at a time. Just one day at a time. All my love to you and your family. Hold fast. Lean on love.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Seriously stuff like this happens and people wonder why there’s less trust in schools and some people chose to not have kids because of incidents like this.
So sorry for your loss.
Tearing up. Im very sorry. Sue everyone involved. Make them pay and be fired and never hurt a kid again.
Dear Christ, I am so very sorry. This NEVER should have happened and that poor young man should be alive today. As a dedicated social scientist, I will be sure to advocate for emotional support in schools for students & staff; trained counsellors, psychiatrists, whoever is needed to keep everyone safe and to prevent tragedies such as this.
This is heartbreaking, I’m so sorry.
I am so sad for your loss and furious for the cause of it. You’re a better person than me if you haven’t slapped them toothless for this!
I’m so sorry. It was an emotional day today. Somedays are better…. today’s bad. Maybe my heart got better of my head today.
My boy is gone. Blame and legal, will be many, many more years of tussle and pain, for me, for his siblngs, his story thrown under institutional scrutiny and legal technicalities, instead of understanding and empathy. More pain more uncertainty. I need to take care of his siblings too. Can’t go down that path. I can sacrifice my life, but I can’t screw up theirs.
In a way, I empathize with teachers too. Hundreds of children daily, not an easy task. Just wished, really wish, processes can improve to be… kinder. more compassionate. more understanding. more empathetic. more clarity on when counselors should be called in, and cries alerted to parents. It’s hard though, when teaching is such a stressful career too.
I have worked with relevant to suggest improvements to processes. Not just one school, but for schools across the board. Reached out to many NGOs too, local and global. Failed to save my child, but hope his life and his message will bring awareness of emotional distress, and help prevent such for other children in the world. ❤️ For the sensitive ones. The soft-spoken ones.
Just that some days, the emotions wash over again. Like today 😭. It was a bad emotional crash again. I try to stay strong. Stay positive. Just hope the world can listen.
What else can I do? I don’t know. Cry. Tv. Talk to my friends. Bring the surviving kids out. Maintain normality at home. Ensure they are always always always safe. Increase their mental resilience. Instil grit. Tell them if anything goes south anywhere, just come home first, will help them together. Eagle eye on them everyday.
I can only say to all parents and educators, please take good care of the kids. Treasure the little ones around you. Process is important… empathy more so.
I pray every time the phone rings. phobia is always there now.
It changes you. The thing people say is, “what’s the worst that can happen?” and when you have a kid, you push that out of your mind. You go on faith that everything will be ok, you feel lucky and blessed to have such a gift. But always, in the back of your mind you think what if? You get told don’t ever think those thoughts, that they will drown you but ‘what if’ is perfectly reasonable. Sometimes in this life the ‘what if’s do come true and you are left to deal with it, the impossible weight of it, the crushing inability to breathe. It wakes you up, choking.
It’s what makes us human. You are human, they are human. Everyone does the best they can with what they have and sometimes, it’s not enough. But I honestly believe it’s also what connects us as humans. After 9/11, my world was so different. I woke up wishing each day would go away. But I got up, went to school and connected with people who were also sad, scared, and lost. I spoke to people who also had the ‘what if’s come true. It helps so much and the peace you need gets nurtured in this new group you you never wanted to be a member of.
As a fellow former sensitive child, you did nothing wrong. My parents tried to make me more hard-hearted, but it only took pieces of me instead. Your compassion and acceptance of him how he was is a lovely gift, not an indictment of your parenting.
I am so sorry for your loss. This should not have happened.
I wish I could hug you and take away all your pain. I am so sorry for your loss. You don’t deserve this and neither did he. May his memory be a blessing and may you reunite one day in a world much more just.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
If I could quickly sum up one of the biggest reasons I find so little understanding or empathy for a certain person that was killed this last week it’s because people like your son are everywhere; beautiful people in a cruel world.
your son is the one that deserves flags at half-mast around the country, he’s the one news outlets should be shouting about.
Anyway, I’m so sorry for your loss. I really cannot imagine. If it’s even the faintest consolation, I legitimately think this post will help some parent or child in the future. I know I’ll forever be thinking about it and yall.
I have no words I can say that would or could help, but all I can give is a virtual hug and just be around if you need a listening soul again. 🫂
🙁
Oh no! I’m so sorry! What a terrible, heartbreaking, unbelievable loss. I wish I could hug you. I wish you could hug your child.
This didn’t happen in one day.
I am sorry for your loss
My heart goes out to you. So sorry for your loss.
If you are in a place to deal with it, Make sure the school has transparency and explains their side of events leading up to this and make sure no other child or parent experiences this.
💕
I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. There really are no words other than I pray for peace for you. I also lost a child he was 27 at the time. It’s devastating and heartbreaking and I’m hoping you can find your way to some type of Peace
I’m so sorry! That’s horrific.
I hope that your burdens can one day transform to be memories of the best times. Even though they’re nothing like having your son in your arms, I hope those memories of good times bring you joy. My condolences.
I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say
As the mother of a sensitive 10 (almost 11yo) boy, my heart bleeds for you.
I am so sorry for your loss, sending virtual hugs.
I’ll not lie this is my worst fear for my sweet ASD boy
Oh mama. My heart hurts for you. Every word hit, too. We have to help these young people trying to make it in this tough world.
I am so sorry for your loss. When I was in high school, a girl I was friends with was singled out to be interrogated for a fight she wasn’t involved in or present for. She SOBBED. When they were done with her they told her “now go clean yourself up and go back to class”. She saw no counselor. It’s upsetting. They need to understand when your life experience is so short, and your world is so small as a child, these things can completely shake you.
I am so sorry for your loss, and I can’t even begin to imagine the pain that you’re going through. No parent should ever have to go through this amount of pain. I know nothing can be said or done to truly help you, and I’m also sorry for that. My heart breaks for you and your family. I will be praying over you and your family
I have no idea how to even imagine your grief. But maybe find a way to reach out to August Borden’s family. He’s alive but the story is somewhat similar and maybe you could channel that energy into making a difference in your child’s memory/honor. And disclaimer for this …I have no idea who August is (don’t live anywhere close to them or even to recall the state) but the stories are somewhat similar obviously not exact. I saw his dad on law & crime and his sadness is all encompassing. You can just see it and feel it through the videos. Maybe together you guys could make a difference. Best wishes to you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss ❤️
Many people talk about supporting teachers and paying them more, but not enough people talk about how terribly some teachers treat the children they’re supposed to teach.
Every parent’s worst nightmare. I can’t and don’t want to imagine your pain. Please don’t be mad because of that. I wish that I could help you, hold you, and be there for you.
Of course I can’t. But I truly do care.
I’m not going to say “stay strong” or “ I’m praying for you” because it doesn’t matter and it doesn’t take the hurt away.
All I can say is that I care. From one random person to another.
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry that is truly horrible
I’m so sorry for your loss. Reading this broke my heart. The way you wrote about him shows how much love he had in his life, even if it was cut tragically short. Thank you for sharing something so painful and important—it’s a reminder of how badly the world needs more compassion.
As both a mother to a son and someone who works with adolescents, my heart breaks for you and your family. I hope with time you are able to find some peace, but know that a part of you will always grieve. I am so sorry for your loss, know that I’m thinking of you
i am so sorry for your loss. 😔
This one hurt me in the feels, I’m so sorry.
As someone who was also the emotional child who was singled out by teachers, this hit me hard.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your boy sounds incredible, and will never be forgotten. Let his story live on. School systems need to be reformed.
Nope, I’d SHUT that school Down! No “normal” child commits self hurt like this because “He was spoken to” SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING that he felt was enough to end his life!!!
NO CHILD should cry because of a school teacher!! Then to NOT inform his parents? Holy Cow would I make SURE to follow EVERY little piece of evidence and FIND OUT what happened and WHAT was said!
I lost a 2 year old. There was no one to blame. She just went to sleep. But, she was home and loved.
I cannot imagine your pain. My thoughts and condolences go to you and your family. 💐
Never blame yourself for having that wonderful sweet soft hearted boy, blame the ones that pushed him over the edge. My heart breaks for you. 💕
I’m so sorry for your loss.
That is a tragedy, I am so sorry for your loss!
🙁 I’m deeply sorry, my friend. Sending you hugs.
So very sorry.
My heart bleeds for your son and your family,and all other people that are labeled sensitive, not just children. I was labeled sensitive. When someone calls you sensitive it feels like they’re saying your feelings are insignificant and get over it.
What is the alternative to sensitive, insensitive? Maybe we could be labeled as more humane, or nothing at all. We could care more for all nonviolent people and judge less.
I have no words.
But I promise I’m listening to both of you.
This is absolutely gut wrenching, I am so so sorry
As a once emotional and sensitive kid this is beyond heartbreaking. Can’t imagine the pain your family must be going through.
Omg. Only 11?! I am so sorry.
My heart is broken for you. I’m so very sorry.
My 10 yo son came home from Sunday school in tears today because two teachers shamed him in front of the rest of the class for not knowing something they thought was common knowledge about our religion. Today was his first day, so he’s a little behind. I have been debating if I should say anything to the teachers, but this story has convinced me that I absolutely should.
I’m so sorry for your sweet boy and for you and your family, OP. I don’t know you, but it feels like a punch to the gut learning about this tragic loss.
I’d go to the local news about this, honestly. This schools actions are despicable.
The pressure of questioning from multiple adults is horrible and intense.
One of my kids was accused of bullying, and luckily we attended, because it was us with our kid and 5 teachers/principal/counselor. We felt outnumbered.
Our kid felt so scared they just admitted to everything, but later he told us that they had actually been the one bullied and made fun of, and he had responded because of it. But of course the bully reported only the response.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss.
This is above Reddit pay grade
https://www.griefshare.org/
I’m sorry for your loss, OP… this world just eats sensitive people alive.
I’m heartbroken. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m so fucking sorry, Jesus Christ
I am so sorry for your loss OP.