I (26f) am so fucking tired of feeling unloved by my bf (27m) of 10 years.
This is going to be stupid and yes it’s going to be long and It’s probably not going to make much sense because I’m unloading in a way but my boyfriend is destroying me slowly. It sounds ridiculous but it’s the only way I can put it.
I’m not sure what it is. I really don’t know. I think it’s because I’m not naturally beautiful, or that I don’t have big tits or fat ass. I’m really just blatantly average. I’m just a girl with my heart on my sleeve, a girl who loves a man that makes me continually feel like the ugly girl in highschool who’s chasing the guy that gives his attention to all the prettier girls. I genuinely can’t remember the last time this man has said he loves me. The last time he has given me a compliment in ANY sense – appearance, cooking, etc – but when he likes an actress or singer or coworker or neighbour or pretty much any other woman that is not me, he has no problem being the nicest funniest guy on the planet. No problem giving compliments then.
And god, don’t get me wrong. I don’t really fucking need a compliment everyday to feel happy in my relationship. That isn’t what this is about and God knows I’ve made due for the past 10 years without any, but it’s everything else together that just makes it worse.
My boyfriend and I live together. We have four dogs. I do literally everything around the house while still going to work everyday. Everything. Dishes, cooking, laundry, cleaning, taking out the garbage, shovelling snow, paying the bills and buying the groceries. I ask this man for one thing, maybe take out the garbage for me? Nah. He’d rather sit on his phone in bed in the morning, looking at porn. Who cares that this one little thing would make my girlfriend’s life easier? (so disgustingly unattractive)
I’m so fucking frustrated and just so fucking sad. My bf will watch these reels of girls packing their man’s lunches and he’ll send them to me as if I HAVENT BEEN DOING THAT FOR 10 YEARS 😭 The comments are always full of men singing praises for the women and wishing they had their own. Calling it marriage material and yet I’m still ringless LOL. I go above and fucking beyond for this man, because holy fuck all I want to do is care for him and my love language is acts of service just because to me it’s always about the little things that really speak volumes towards how much you love someone. How much effort you’re willing to put into loving them fully.
And this is the part where i start sobbing because Im so fucking broken if he even started my car (to warm up given we live in a freezer state) in the morning I’d be over the moon. Me? It’s 7am and Im making him coffee and breakfast bringing it up to him in bed i’m packing his lunch im starting his car im cleaning the snow off I’m taking out prep for dinner im running to the store if needed etc etc etc.
As I get older I just want to nurture. Idk. I want to take care of this man I want to be his sanctuary, I want him to feel like anything he needs he’s got it, but this dude does absolutely nothing to deserve it and it’s heartbreaking for me to say that. He tells me he goes to work for us but sorry man, that isn’t an excuse for slacking off in your relationship. That’s just a lazy way of saying you don’t actually give a fuck about me or how I feel. Which became glaringly apparent when on my birthday in Feb, this man did and said nothing to me other than a birthday snapchat filter.
I don’t get it. I shouldn’t have to beg my boyfriend to tell me he loves me when i do fucking everything for him 😭 He tells me I should be his peace when I’m nagging, but fucking christ can you take a look around for five fucking minutes? You are giving me zero fucking reason to feel safe here, to feel loved here, to feel wanted here, to feel cared for here, to feel ANYTHING that doesn’t resemble a fucking abused pet. Neglected.
I’ve always been independent. Always been the type to just do everything myself because It’s that sick sad part of me that’s quietly desperate for validation and appreciation. I had a shitty upbringing. Absent father. This feels a lot like chasing that acceptance from my father that never came, but on a scale so much worse, and truly I am just so devastated. I just feel that inner child breaking a little more every day.
Anyways, sorry you had to read that. I’m a sad pathetic woman right now and just needed somewhere to unload it.
Comments
Okay, you need to sit down with him and have a serious talk and tell him how you feel and that this cannot go like this anymore. I feel like after 10 years he got too used to you and takes you for granted, seriously you two are grown ups and need to have a conversation about these things. It would honestly be a shame for your relationship to fall apart after such a long time and so much effort.