Just to be clear, I don’t care about tattoos, I have 1 my wife has a sleeve, her back is covered and 1/4 of her other arm. But my 16 year old keeps getting backyard tattoos and is very clear he will not stop, we are worries he will catch something, any advice would help.
My 16 year old keeps getting tattoos, what can we do?
r/Advice
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What can you do?
Maybe offer a compromise: wait until 18 and you’ll pay for a legit, professional tattoo. Sometimes giving them something to look forward to works better than just saying no.
The battle begins. Good luck.
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He won’t go to a shop if you pay?
Print out pictures of gnarly infected tattoos and people who have had limbs amputated because of it. And tell him those are the lucky idiots who got infections on limbs.
Maybe seek out a documentary about hepatitis? Educate him about what you’re worried about. Maybe find pictures online of shitty tattoos and randomly send them to him. Print and put on the bathroom mirror. Make jokes about it. Otherwise there isn’t much you can do because he can hide it anyway.
have you sat him down and plainly told him WHY you’re against it? i.e. that it isn’t an infringement on his autonomy or whatever, but a safety thing. kids are dumb, they aren’t thinking of the nasty shit they can catch from poor needle hygiene.
Show him photos of infected tattoos.
Find the nastiest pictures you can find infected tattoos. I saw a picture of a scar from brain surgery from an infected tattoo. Print them out and make them into an album. Tell him you can’t stop him but you CAN make him aware of the dangers.
Why does he prefer backyard tattoos over legit? I have a friend who does the same and I think it stems from the “young people feel invincible” kind of feeling. I’d say the best you can do it offer to bring him to a real place so he can feel the difference and offer lots of care/ask him to share when he gets a new one so you can help make sure it doesn’t get infected. I’m guessing it’s the availability of the person tattooing/wanting to experiment. Definitely some self harm in there if you ask me, I only say that because it’s a pattern I notice in this particular kind of tattooing. Said w love and familiarity, not judgement. And probably not wanting to spend money lol
Why is he not grounded?
The best you can do is tell him why you’re concerned and hope that he’ll take it to heart. If not and he gets an unsafe tattoo that goes awry then that’s a lesson you’ll just have to let him learn the hard way I’m afraid.
Google Hep-C and infected tats
Take him to a professional, with your permission, they’ll tattoo him. In a clean, safe shop, with actual tattooists.
You need to show him what happens when people get infected tattoos
Get him tested for bloodborne diseases ASAP, maybe ask a nurse or dr (with tattoos!) to talk to him about it
Didn’t some celebrity catch Hepatitis from unsanitary tattooing? Who was it?
Yikes, I was that kid. Tattooing myself and my friends at 15yo with basic writing ink and (at least sterile) handpoke needles from aliexpress, disinfecting it with alcohol. Only thing you can do is give him proper equipment and hope for the best. He won’t stop. I surely didn’t.
Voice concerns and leave it at that. He obviously doesn’t give a damn. One day when he gets a nasty infection tell him to go to a backyard dr since the tattoos worked out so well /s
Since they’re backyard ones, he needs to get tested for stuff like Hepatitis as soon as possible, i’m not sure what else you are able to do, apart from teaching him why it’s bad to get them like this, show him photos of tattoos that are infected.
Doesnt sound like he listens to you so what can you do ?
I worked with a guy who got a backyard tattoo before we went to a new job site, the tattoo got infected and he lost his life due to it. Young guy only 26, he did everything he could to take care of the ink but
Have him tested and counseled on the risks of infectious diseases. I would honestly report anyone to the health department that is tattooing him.
I have a “scratcher” tat that my ex husband did. Never got infected or anything. BUT it looks like shit and I lowkey hate looking at it every friggin day.
Scratchers, backyard, basement, prison, whatever label you wish to attach, 9 times outta 10, they’re gonna end up looking like shit and being regretted.
From what you’ve said there’s not much you can do to stop him right now, but what you can do is encourage proper care to reduce the risk of infection. Explain to him all the gross stuff that can happen to backyard and not properly cared for tattoos. Buy him some second skin so if he gets another one, he can cover it properly. Get him some medical grade tattoo ointment (not the bullshit stuff shops push, most of the time it’s nothing special just overpriced), some sunscreen, and some Mr Pickles antibacterial wash.
Remind him that these are on his body forever, and backyard tattoos tend to look worse in the long run.
I’d recommend making him do extra chores to cover the cost of these materials too. But if you can’t stop him, all you can do is try to keep him safe.
I was like your son, thought I was invincible. My mum knew that she couldn’t stop me from doing risky things (not tattoos, I was into abandoned buildings and rooftop hanging) so she made sure I was aware of the consequences and kept myself safe (up to date on tetanus shots, had quality shoes that couldn’t be punctured, shoes with good grip too, stuff like that).
Teenagers are dicks, we do shitty things and dangerous things and don’t listen to reason. We grow out of it eventually but sometimes there’s simply no stopping us. You just gotta do what you can to promote responsibility and self care
Let him get tatted at a shop or by someone yall know
The backyard tattoos are filling some kind of emotional need. Find a good therapist that your son can establish rapport and trust with. Whether he enjoys the physical pain (similar to cutting) or he does it to impress his peers and gain stature, there are likely emotional insecurities and unmet needs involved.
Can you bring him for testing? Tell him he can get tattoos once hes 18 and gets a job if he lives under your roof.
Does he still have a phone?
Show him some good tattoos and then put them side by side with whatever he’s getting and say “have some goddamn respect for yourself”
Have you tried taking him to a shitty area of town where a bunch of fucks hang out by a gas station, train tracks, or wherever else, and pointing out the giant flesh-eating diseases some of them have on their arms and legs from open wounds, sharing needles, TATTOOS, etc.?
I remember seeing some guy with an infected arm as a teen when I was with a friend who had a stick-and-poke… and she ended up calling her mom and outing her new tattoo so she could get tested, lol.
Tell him if he stops getting risky backyard tattoos which can cause disease, Infection for the next two years and spend the next two years working out what tattoos he wants once he turns 18 you’ll take him and pay for his tattoos at a proper place. Is this a bribe yes he is 16 and 16 year olds need incentive.
That’s how my aunt got hep c which didn’t get caught until there was liver damage. The old 80’s tattoo parties where they didn’t swap needles.
Explain the risks. If you don’t mind her getting them, tell him you will take him to a professional.
My sister’s home one got so infected it never set right. Not like it would have anyway.
If he’s determined to get them, let her earn some cash and get them done by a professional in a clean and safe environment.
Edit: fixes
Find people who got tats early and he can show him how much we hate our choices – they are forever – not 20years – you will wish you had taken a moment – I thought I looked cool with a tribal tattoo on my arm running the mile in high school – truth – I was a skinny idiot with a tattoo that is all scar tissue and I’ll see it with a cover up lol
A couple of drunks trying to get their child not to drink moonshine. You will need to give him a tattoo allowance so he can get the good stuff.
We mercilessly teased our teen about their janky “jail” tattoo. I don’t know if it helped, but they definitely waited until 18 and could go to a professional for the second one.
I would offer advice but its really difficult at that age, im a step dad and meet my partner 6 years ago and been married 1 year, her kids are now 12 (girl) and 17 (boy)
the girl Mia who is 12 is caring, feels guilty, cries when she has done wrong and likes to be around us most days
the 17 year old Boy called ollie used to be the sweetest boy when he was younger, when i first met him we played fortnite together, watched anime and spent time together
he was half way through high school and the typical teen started, vaping, drugs, weed, girlfriend every few months, police at the door and it was really stressful for me because i have never been a dad before and i just got to the stage where i felt i could tell them off, ground them and take things off them like grounding them, taking wifi off them, getting them to help around the house
fast forward he is now 17, been with his girlfriend for over a year, they are engaged, he moved out to live with her and her mum, then lived with her brother, then they got chucked out, we said to him that you can come home and make a plan and just think about things, but he didn’t want to be anywhere without his girlfriend but we couldn’t have her living with us since we didn’t really know her or trust her, so he sorted out homeless accommodation for them both
basically what im saying is no matter what you say to them, ground them or tell them no they are doing to do it anyway, we tried to ground him, take wifi off him, take phone off him he would end up leaving the house or climbing out the window
like other have said best thing mabye try is sit down with him and try plan a proper tattoo together, go on instagram or google images together and check out some of his hobbies or things he really likes and what decent tattoos look like that have been done, once you see really bad tattoos and then you see tattoos really well done, you don’t want to see another bad one again 🙂
I wonder why your 16yo had been getting tatoos.
How can he afford them?
How is it legal? can you at 16 without a parent?
At that age it’s less about tattoos and more about safety. Maybe talk to him about hygiene and even consider taking him to a professional so he doesn’t risk infections.
Inform him of tattoo infections
I’d If he won’t stop, I’d go with harm reduction and find a way to get him clean needles and get him vaccinated for what you can if they are not being mindful about that. It’s not ideal, but hep c and hiv are not something to take lightly.
Where does he get the money for tats?
Let him go to a real artist🤙
Do parents not ground their kids anymore?
If you tell him no and he does it anyways, there must be consequences.
download pictures of infected basement/bedroom tattoos. sit him down for an entire slideshow and include medical pamphlets for various IV transmitted diseases!!
It’s a 16 year old, you’re the Father, just say no
Find it who is doing it and press charges.
Tattooing a minor without patent consent is illegal and extremely dangerous.
Probably a good idea to have them talk to a license tattoo artist and maybe if you would be up for this idea but if you’re 16-year-old keeps getting tattoos you’re 16-year-old’s going to get them one way or another cuz I’m 20 now but when I was 16 I really wanted another ear piercing so I pierced my ears with needles from Amazon because 16-year-old me had a will and a way and I wasn’t going to let my parents tell me know so honestly from that perspective I honestly would just advise that If you’re okay with it to have them sit down with the trained professional if they wish to continue getting tattoos so at least if you’re 16-year-old does continue to get tattoos they’re done professionally in a more sterile and safe environment
First….don’t admonish. There’s no point as he’ll clam up.
What you need to do is educate him on the problems associated with unsanitary tattooing – infection, HIV, HEP C, cellulitis, amputation.
If he’s insistant on a tattoo, make it a gift to work towards. “If you do XYZ, I’ll buy you a proper tattoo from a licensed place”
Make it a project, have him design it or look for designs. Use it as an opportunity to bond and relate.
I am not sure where in the world you’re from, but I’m confident that 16 plus parental approval works in your country for tattoo parlors.
He may regret (ragret) it in the future, but that’s something he will need to deal with later.
Tough to lead by example on this one
For real, if you’re at the point that your kid is getting back yard tattoos at 16 it’s game fucking over.
You have two choices:
They know you don’t like this. They either do it to fuck with you or they do it because you’ve fucked up raising them so badly that they think the approval of god knows who is more important than your (alleged) interest in their well being.
This train is running full speed. Time to find a parallel track and be there for them or split off.
I don’t mean this to sound like a dick, but man up and lay down the law. Don’t worry about what he thinks of you, he clearly has no respect for you, it’s not going to be any worse than him 15 years from now looking back and wondering why his father didn’t do whatever it takes to make sure he didn’t do life altering dumb shit as a kid.
Tell him about HEP-C and how easy it is to get it from infected blood or even from his own blood!
I have three daughters 14-19-22. When they all turned 13 my ex with my agreement met the. All get their noses pierced at 16 she allowed them to get a “small” tattoo on their wrists and she got the same one my 14 is already bugging g her tk get it early and my ex will not budge neither will the tattoo artist who happens to be my friends youngest daughter she herself is under 30. On their 17 they were allowed another small one and as long as they didn’t get any backyard ones we paid for a large one on their 18. My oldest went all out half sleeve thighs calf’s back and what I understand a few that dad would not like to know about. Offer this as something. Make jt a birthday gift
As someone who started getting tattoos at 15: its a cry for help
Your concerns are totally valid! Perhaps involving him in the conversation about tattoo care and safety could make him more aware of the risks involved. Just keep it open and supportive!
If you truly don’t care about tattoos specifically, any chance (if it’s legal in your state) you would sign off on parent-approved tattoos from a professional artist?
I’m not a parent or anything so idk how good of an idea it is in that regard, but it seems like it’d be your best chance at harm mitigation.
I think that spending some time sitting in a clinic or doctors office and waiting for an HIV and HEP B/C test to come back is a very sobering experience. There are HIV/Hep prevention counselors that you can make an appointment for him to talk to – probably as your health department.
He’s 16. No 16 year old thinks they will get a serious illness. A friend of mine contracted HIV at 16. Your son needs to talk to someone who will tell him how many cases they see every day and that this isn’t a joke.
I get ur concern, it’s not really about the tattoos but the safety part
Maybe sit him down and talk about infections and long term risks instead of just saying no
Get some yourself. As soon as he sees it’s cool to you, he will stop instantly.
Call the police on the “artist”, depending on the state, that’s child abuse/contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
Also, I saw your other comment that your cousin is an artist, talk to you kid and tell him that if he stops getting these crap tattoos, that when he turns 18, you will take him to your cousin and pay for a nice piece.
Get the same one as him.
It’s too late. If your child is telling you what they are going to do, you already lost this battle.
Tell him you won’t support him when he’s an unemployed loser in a few years.
You can’t stop them. But you can guide them by introducing them to a good artist. Make it part of a reward structure. A tattoo or square area per A.
Offer to pay for professional tattoos. Maybe trade off with making him do some chores to earn it.
Call the cops on whomever is giving your kid tattoos without parental permission. They won’t get arrested but they will get questioned and they won’t give your kid anymore tattoos.
He’s 16. What the hell kind of parents are you?
Hep ABV vax maybe even prep.
i think their is a bigger issue here and you should take your son to see a therapist
Talk about it with him, and keep it a discussion rather than an argument
Be a better parent?
Tell your kid that hepatitis is a heck of a thing. I had a co-worker whose health was going downhill. Our insurance company came to work and drew blood, it was part of our work program. He was found to have hepatitis. If he didn’t go through treatment, he would die in just a few years because of organ failure. If he DID go through treatment he was still at risk of organ failure.
He went through treatment, lost all his hair. He’s still not healthy, never will be again. It was just too much for him.
And, his tattoo was done by a “friend”. Not a safe tattoo parlor. Who knows how many others got tattoos by the same person and they used dirty needles.
Not to mention AIDS is still a possibility.
You have more power than you think when it comes to talking to your kid. Stand up and be heard.
Honestly, I would allow him to do it IF he goes somewhere reputable. That’s terrifying.
Offer to pay for a decent tattoo from a reputable artist once he’s 18, but only if he stops getting the homeless ones.
Find out where the backyard tattoo place is and turn them into the police
I get why you’re worried, it’s not the tattoos but the risks of how he’s getting them. At his age, it’s about independence, so forbidding it might just push him to hide it. If you come from a place of care and say you’re not against tattoos, just worried about infections and safety, he might be more open to hearing you.
Monkey see monkey do?
Explain to him the dangers of getting hepatitis or other diseases from un-sterilized equipment and unregulated ink sources. Have him talk to an actual licensed tattoo artist about the dangers of unskilled tattoo’s.
Make sure he’s up to date on his hepatitis vaccines
Let him earn some money doing work around the house and then take him yourself to a reputable tattoo parler. If he won’t stop, why not help him go about it the safe way? If my 16 year old was like this, it’s what my choice would be. I’d rather my child have tattoos and be clean than have tattoos and infections, or worse.
I’d say ask a professional to talk to him about it. If he still doesn’t change his mind, then there’s not much you can do other than let him learn the hard way the risks involved for saving a few bucks is.