Me 21F and my boyfriend 21M, 1 year and 2mos together, had a fight last wednesday night. He was at fault sadly.
Before he was following random people on ig, including girls and boys just for the sake of making his instagram grow. I understood that even if it bothers me that he’s following girls he don’t know and not to mention, pretty.
I am confident that it’s just nothing, it’s not that he will talk to them or cheat on me(I hope no one will force me that it’s the other way because I know him better than anyone). It’s just me getting uncomfortable with the situation and I just think my feelings are valid. At first I let it past.. as the time passes by it really bothers me. So, I confronted him about it for like 3 times and said to me: “I am just growing my ig, will unfollow them later on” on the first and second time and with the third time, “I will unfollow if I have time”.. since he is no longer active on IG since he had a work, I agreed.
But last Wednesday, I snapped. Not in a negative way but with realizations that—if it bothers me, even if you’re busy, you’ll remove it.
I confronted him about it and in which resulted him to say to me that he will just delete his IG just for the sake of doing it all at once. He has been communicating to me that he wanted to do that prior to last Wednesday. It wasn’t new to me that he deleted the IG but it’s just that the timing was crazy. It didn’t felt well because I felt like the actual request was neglected.
Now after that we had a fight, instead of apologizing sweetly I felt like he apologizes with a tone and phrasing that’s off for me.
e.g. “I already deleted the IG, what more?”
Now I didn’t reply to him because I got even mad on how he handled the mistake. He hasn’t been talking to me also for 6days. I was the one who reached out to fix the issue 2days because I felt anxious with the gap and he said “He’s not ready to talk”. Tho it was our monthsarry yesterday and greeted each other in a neutral manner, later I sent him a message explaining how I feel so that he could take time to think what he could say and somehow help him to formulate his words.
TL:DR: Boyfriend and I had a conflict in which merely his fault and went under no contact for 6 days but I felt like instead of me not talking to him due to his mistakes, he is the one not talking to me. Any thoughts and advice about this situation? What could be on his mind? Is our relationship doomed? this is the first time this has happened.
Comments
Lol nah you’re not doomed, stuff like this happens to everyone at some point. Honestly, it’s kinda a rite of passage 😂 just chalk it up as a learning experience and move on. If it keeps happening THEN start worrying lol
Honestly, him going 6 days without talking to you after a conflict is the bigger red flag than him following random girls on IG. That’s avoidance, not communication
Uhhhhhhh. I’d say this relationship is doomed, but not because of him. He deleted his instagram because of your insecurity and now you want HIM to apologize? Nah.
You guys should have discussed this way more. Without more context and going off the post alone he seems like a procrastinator and maybe a bit meanish sounding since it seems like he did that to quickly appease you.
You seem immature and insecure. Take some time to yourself and have some more confidence in you and your relationships.
It’s not normal to not talk to your significant other for a week, regardless of the fight topic or severity. If you can’t resolve it or talk it out within a day or two max, then you don’t have the communication compatibility to be long term partners.
Separately, your phrasing of this story gives a clue as to why you’re struggling to resolve this issue. You repeatedly say the argument is his fault, but you openly say he’s done nothing to disrespect your relationship with the randos he follows, and it’s your insecurities about it that’s urging him to delete the account. Thats odd and controlling behavior on your behalf, and yet you state the whole issue is his fault. Return to the conversation with your bf with an open mind about how you’re making him feel. It’s not really about the instagram, but your reaction to it and your expectations.