I’ll get right to it. We’ve been dating for 5 years, and it’s been nothing short of great. We’ve lived together for 3 years. Never had any major issues. Dated all through college. Never took breaks or anything like that—5 strong years.
She hasn’t given me any signs or said she feels the way I do. In fact, she’s hinted the opposite when talking about long-term things. I feel like she would have told me if she felt this way when we first brought it up.
My girlfriend and I have always communicated well. If we had an issue, we talked it out and worked through it. We still enjoy doing things together, and our friends tell us we’re the “perfect couple.” But for the past 2 months, I’ve just felt off. More like roommates than a couple. What’s confusing is she’s been nothing but perfect to me recently. So why do I feel this way? We’ve talked about it, and we’re trying to make things better, but it feels like those special feelings are gone. I can’t even name a single thing that’s wrong. And if nothing’s wrong with her, why would I even want change?
I haven’t told anyone else about this. I thought about therapy but probably won’t do it. I could talk to friends, but it’s tough since everyone thinks we’re the dream couple. Plus, none of my friends have been in a long, healthy relationship like this.
Here’s how I see it: I love what we have and the partnership we’ve built. I’ll definitely be talking to her more in depth about it, but I wonder—what if we do split? In my mind, she’s the definition of the perfect girl. So why do I feel this way? And if I do feel this now, even if I’m lucky enough to find someone like her again, what’s stopping me from feeling the same way down the road? Is this just what happens after 5+ years? I get that people get bored or feelings fade, but this feels different somehow. Then again, maybe that’s normal?
To be frank, I don’t get excited to see her like I used to. I feel disconnected. I used to tell her everything and look forward to talking to her. Now, I don’t feel the motivation to share as much, and I’m not opening up the way I once did.
Any advice would be much appreciated.
TL;DR
Been dating my girlfriend (5 years, living together for 3) and everything looks “perfect” on paper—no fights, great communication, friends see us as the dream couple. But for the past 2 months, I feel more like roommates than partners. She’s still great to me and talks about the future, but I feel disconnected, less excited to see her, and not opening up like I used to. Nothing’s wrong, but something feels missing. Wondering if this is just normal after a long relationship, if it means something deeper, or if these feelings could repeat even with someone else. Unsure what to do next.