My mum passed away in February this year and she was the last close family that I had. Last night my girlfriend was asking a lot of stupid questions and then she asked if I’d give up the relationship to have my mum back. I asked if she was seriously asking that.
She asked what the problem was and I pointed out she’s comparing herself to my dead mother hoping I tell her the relationship means more and it’s just vile. She said I was being cruel towards her but I pointed out it’s cruel to even think it’s an okay question to ask.
She said I was getting angry over nothing but I just pointed out she is making light of my mother passing in the hope I tell her she means more and it’s disgusting. I said she needs to grow up and stop asking stupid questions.
She again said I was being horrible to her.
Does anyone have any advice on how best to approach this or have any other views on it?
Tl;dr my girlfriend said I was being horrible to her when I called her vile for a question she asked.
Comments
People say stupid shit, but that she doesn’t even understand after the fact how horrid of a question that is… that says something about her. Extremely self centered at best.
Sorry about your mum.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
That was an INSANE and EVIL thing of your (I hope ex) gf to ask you. Jesus christ, it’s been seven months. You are still mourning. No joke, I’d end it over that. I would never be able to look at a partner again if they asked me something like that.
I’m sorry for your loss. And, she’s 27?! What the actual f*ck is wrong with her?
She just showed you how little she cares about your feelings. She asked a stupid question then portrays herself as the victim after you called her out on it. I’m honestly surprised she’s still your gf after she disrespected you and the memory of your mom
She’s desperately insecure and you should absolutely reconsider the relationship. I’m sure this isn’t remotely the first time she’s behaved this way, just probably the worst.
Wow, that’s a horrible thing for her to ask you. You could have handled it better, but she’s 100% in the wrong for even asking. All I can say is maybe talk to her, and say “I love you, and I love our relationship, but you can’t ask people questions like that. That’s my mother.” Tbh, it says a LOT about her, and it’s a big red flag that she lacks empathy.
Wow. That says so much about her. Are you sure you want to continue on with someone who honestly asks questions like that?
I would definitely give up a relationship to have my mom back or my grandfather back. She would be an ex for asking that question