Should I [M18] part ways with my girlfriend [F19]?

Hey guys, I asked for the same advice with this same post in a different subreddit, but I’d like to see your opinions on my matter please.

My partner [19F] and I [18M] are (probably obviously from the age) high school sweethearts, we met during the high school musical a couple years ago, and ended up really bonding and eventually getting together as of last January. This isn’t my first relationship ever, but I definitely consider it my first serious relationship. We’ve always had a super strong bond and even on days that we spend time together when I’m not really feeling it, she and I always have a lot of fun with each other. We bounce off each other in both silly and serious ways extremely well, we both think about the future often, we both enjoy a lot of similar activities, and overall we seem to on the surface be a really good match for each other. Despite all of this however, I’ve really started thinking about splitting ways as of the past few months and I’ve come to no conclusion on my own. There are a lot of factors for me wanting this, but I suppose I’ll just try to write them down in some natural order and let the thoughts pour out. Apologies if I write this story a little bit all over the place. 🙂

For one, as my senior year is closing up in HS (I’m a September baby so I’m older than most of my class) I cant help but feel like I’m missing out on something. Not necessarily other women, though I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a factor, I mostly just feel like the early adulthood single experience is a very important time in a lot of peoples lives. I know for certain there’s a lot of growth to be had during this period of time, and a lot of connections that can be made with other people or memories made, and I can’t help but feel like I’m holding myself back from all of this if I decide to stay with my current partner. I feel like I have no room to go anywhere or grow in any way, and whenever I’m with her I start to feel like I’m the same person I was when I met her, despite me knowing just how much I’ve still changed over this past year. It just makes me wonder.. if I feel held back now, what would that be like in 10, 20 years? I also feel like I shouldn’t start out my adult life the exact same way it’ll be when I die. I suppose in simpler terms, I feel stuck.

Another factor is that I feel like she is unintentionally extremely emotionally manipulative, and strangely enough I feel like it’s only been amplified over time. My own theory is that her lack of a strong example of a good relationship in her parents possibly plays a role here, but I don’t really know the reason. Either way, it feels really shitty. A great example is this last weekend. We’ve hung out basically every single Sunday since we got together, it sort of just became “our day”. While I definitely enjoy this time with her, all she ever wants to do is sit and watch movies. Literally every single time, sit and watch movies. I’ve never really been a movie person. Of course I’ll make compromises and do some things with her that she enjoys, but it seems like I never get to do anything that I enjoy (eg. outdoors stuff). Despite her claiming an interest in it, she always has an excuse to just sit and watch movies instead.. and it sucks. Wrapping back though, I feel like a good example of what I feel like is emotional manipulation is this last weekend. This last weekend I really just wasn’t feeling it anymore, and in my own mind I think it’s reasonable after over a year to maybe not spend every Sunday together, especially just watching movies, so I just politely told her how I wasn’t really feeling it. She went totally ballistic, freaking out, and went to her same arguments of “I miss you though!” or “well but I want to!” etc. Eventually she pulled out the “do you still love me?” card, to which I basically politely told her that she was losing her lid and really needed to just try to understand where I was coming from. That’s not the only example I have, and my friends have had some experiences with her in the past that I really don’t like, but that’s besides the point.

Bottom line is, I love her a lot, I really genuinely do. But, I feel like I’m strapped down to something that will only hold me back. I feel like I’m sort of “trapped”, but I’m afraid of leaving because I both feel like I was lucky enough to get her, but I also know how much I love her and a lot of things about her and I know how painful all of it would be. I’ve had a few conversations where we ended up deciding to just “work it out”, but I still find myself back here. I’m really not enjoying much of my time with her anymore, I can’t even bring myself to read or answer texts half the time anymore, and I just feel like I owe it to myself to have a free adult life where I don’t feel like I’m babysitting an adult 12 year old (as much as that sounds mean). It’s a shitty spot to be in, and I agree with something my dad told me, which was “if you’re feeling this way about it now, it’s probably not going to get any better if you wait until you move in together”. I also struggle because I don’t want to be in a situation where my hypothetical future kid comes to me for relationship advice and I can’t provide any because I’ve only really been in this one.

All of this really is extremely difficult to navigate, and I really could go into it in more depth and I might reply to comments and do that if I feel like it’s necessary, but I feel like just having some advice tailored to my personal experience will probably help me to make a decision of some sort one way or the other. They’ll at least be more helpful than reading posts of people with similar enough experiences, lol.

TLDR; My GF and I have a seemingly good relationship, but I feel held back and don’t know what to do.

I know it’d hurt both me and her badly, especially with how close we’ve gotten, but I feel like I should focus on what I think is best for my life. I want to make it clear that there really isn’t any ill feelings between us. And, as of right now, I feel like parting ways to focus on my own life and personal growth/experience is the best thing. It’s tricky to navigate all of this, so I really would like some help.