30F here. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years, I love him dearly. We have such a great relationship. But lately I’ve been finding myself finding other men attractive and picturing myself with them – celebrities mainly. I feel so guilty. I work in retail and I often see beautiful men there (I would never flirt or make moves obviously, but the thoughts alone are making me feel awful).
I don’t know what to do about this. I used to not be able to picture myself with any other men, but now I am… what does this mean? 😢
EDIT: there aren’t any red flags or issues in the relationship honestly. Reflecting on this is confusing because really there’s nothing wrong. Yet I find myself thinking about other men so often lately.
Comments
It means you’re human. Just about everyone in a relationship finds other people attractive once in a while. As long as you don’t act on those feelings, you’re fine.
You’re not dead. You can think about cute men
It means you’re still human!
Beautiful people exist and we have eyes.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
First, this is normal. Especially once your relationship has hit a point of stability. Don’t let yourself feel guilty for this. Your partner probably finds other women attractive too. You can’t really stop yourself from feeling attraction.
For me, it means I’m falling out of love with my partner – or that there’s turmoil in the relationship. If I’m happy, I do not fantasize about other men. I can experience aesthetic attraction, but not sexual attraction. For me, being attracted to other people while in a relationship is a giant red flag that something isn’t right.
This is very normal in general. I talk about men and women I’m attracted to openly with my partner. Lately, that’s been Jason Isaacs because we’re watching White Lotus.
Maybe it’s normal for you, maybe it’s not. If you feel like your relationship is great and you’d never cheat, it’s likely nothing. Or maybe you can reflect on how you’ve been feeling lately about your emotional and physical intimacy, why you feel guilty finding others attractive, etc.
Everyone finds celebrities attractive. That’s like the whole point of them, lol. You don’t have to worry about that.
It’s also normal to find other people attractive in your everyday life. I think what you have to be aware of is if you start finding men you know (like a friend or coworker) very attractive. That might indicate something’s up with your relationship. Maybe it’s run its course or just needs more care and attention, etc.
But otherwise it’s all very normal. You’re in a committed relationship, not dead 😉
Unless you are unhappy in your relationship, it doesn’t mean anything. We are human beings and it is totally normal to notice when other people are attractive. Don’t act on it and you are fine.
It’s normal. I think about Pedro Pascal every now and then haha
I am not sure how people were convinced it’s abnormal to find other people attractive when b in a relationship. It’s totally normal. Should you pursue those feelings is where the issue is.
It doesn’t mean anything. This is normal life.
Chris brown has been right this entire time.
This is why relationships without physical contact are extremely difficult. Most people need touch.
“You’re loyal but you have eyes” a quote home Redditor replying to someone with the same issue
Trust me you’re okay
Same thing happened to me when I turned 30 while in a committed relationship. It only intensified over the years, especially traveling for work and being around very handsome men.
I’m approaching 37, still in the committed relationship, and still lust after other men. 😬
It’s okay.
I went through this same intensive shame and guilt! To be honest, I’m still processing it a bit – but learning to be kind and gracious with myself.
My man is the love of my life. We don’t have issues, we have fun every day, and have a great sex life and alllll that. Yet I’d still find myself checking a guy out or feeling ego boosted if they tried to flirt with me. It’s honestly natural.
When digging deeper I realized
Anyway, you’re not alone, and you’re not bad. Sending you love.
It’s normal unless your bf/husband is conventionally attractive like a model/actor in looks and height. But even then, the novelty fades away and you look for variety. Men experience this all the time with all the beautiful women around.