Like if your depression or other r mental health issues are making things harder for you and you get burnt out and stuck, can’t seem to do certain tasks, WE know it’s burn out and how hard it all can actually be,
but some people judge and say things like “they’re using depression as an excuse” or “I was depressed but still did x y z”
How do u just not let them affect you?
I had traumas from a young age and didn’t have much stability and I feel as a result and probably just genetics, I started to have depression as early as 12 that got worse into my teens.
It is getting better now but I think I’ll always sometimes struggle.
During these times I gave up on my life because I was so burnt out and drained, I couldn’t focus on school either, I ended up dropping out at TWELVE and I also didn’t enjoy it so of course a 12yo child would be thrilled to be able to not to, but at age 14 to 15 I wished I could go back but I was too anxious and was sooo far behind academically.
In my teens my life was I guess pretty boring and typical for a depressed person, I would be in my room a lot, sometimes I’d go out and do more but I also couldn’t afford much due to the families finances at the time.
And my depression literally sucked the joy of life out of me, it’s like I couldn’t enjoy anything 🙁
When it got better
I was so shocked at how bad the depression was!
Although it’s very clear I was suffering, I had some toxic siblings judge me and more likely an aunt too.
I think it’s disgusting of them, all the horrible things they said about me and my appearance, even when it was clear I was at my lowest and I also had absolutely no money to do things.
, and I’m considering cutting them off due to this and many other things they’ve done and took 0 accountability for.
I think they think their behaviour is normal? Like how some other people have gossiping family members and they just accept it, and the toxic family think it’s fine because “family” and because they are just toxic.
My question is how can I just not let it bother me?
They also only do nice things so they can brag, it’s not from their heart I feel.
Like, one sibling never used to do nice things for our mom until she got into a relationship and suddenly she’s so bothered and wants to do nice things to treat her, I did find this nice but one part of me feels like it’s not from love it’s just for her ego
- and I get the vibe that while they do these things, they probably are saying “they should be doing this”
when rly I don’t have the money to treat my mother or even myself, I would LOVE to
and they most likely do that, and I do usually do her hair at home but I’ve been drained at (me and my brother are in the caregiving role for mom due to her mental health and physical)
When they see my mothers hair isn’t done, really they should realise maybe we are in a bad spot mentally and offer some support, but instead they gossip and judge.
I just feel sick towards those 2 “family” members, I feel anxious and dread when I see them, when we talk more often it literally affects me mentally , I just feel they shouldn’t be in my life.
I have tried to forgive them but I know they will never change from these bad traits so it feels pointless to try to forget the past and try to let go knowing they are still toxic you know?
And I feel more at peace when they aren’t in my life. It’s like a relief, I’m closing a door of something toxic.
I let them back in because I was feeling forgiving and seeing the good in them, but I find myself regretting it.
Just from the tone of message it’s obvious sometimes that they have issues with me and are judging. I’m just tired of this constant walking on eggshells.
Sorry this got long but I want to not let them judging me bother me, its disgusting, I was a child who experienced something no child should (watched my parent die in a traumatic way) and then I became troubled and depressed,
which is understandable and I recently found another person close to my age who experienced similar and now he is in a rly dark place but luckily his people actually care and don’t judge him or put him down, they want to help him.
And to add onto this, my own siblings caused more trauma by creating drama and being horrible and never saying sorry, blaming everything on me or anyone else but them, etc etc.
I feel they didn’t treat me how a child should have been treated.
Anyway of course as a result I don’t trust them (especially knowing they definitely do gossip as I’ve heard them myself too and found out)
And I don’t feel comfortable having them in my life.
But most of all I just want to not let it bother me, them judging me, I know normal decent people wouldn’t, they’d see I was clearly struggling.
So at the same time remembering that helps.. Maybe my ego is getting in the way too much, I try not to care and usually can because they are so wrong about me and other peoples opinions of us aren’t our business..