I work at a place that has microphones set up that pick up conversations, and you can literally hear every. single. word. Which sucks because we can’t gossip :(. Aside from that the job is so easy and I enjoy the people I work with.
One of my coworkers, Eric, seemed chill at first, but over time he started crossing my obvious boundaries by flirting with me CONSTANTLY after I told him I had a boyfriend. He texted me a few times, he got my number somehow but I ignored him. He made comments about my body, and told other coworkers I was “hot.”
One night his flirtation toward me escalated. For example, I mentioned I was turning 18, he said he was “so excited!” because I could join an adult website soon. He asked me creepy questions like if I ate pineapple or drank cranberry juice and said he knew “it tasted good”, and when I bent over, he commented on the color of my underwear. He also barely worked that night and just wandered around on his phone.
The next day, my boss called me into the office. He showed me camera footage and explained that the microphones had picked up our conversations from the night prior. Boss said, “When I’m done listening to these, Eric may not have a job.” and “what he is saying does not belong in a workplace”
That day when Eric came into work he was taken into the office, came out a few minutes later then left without a word. My coworkers started asking me why he was fired since we were never officially told the reason. Since I was there the night that caused him to get fired, I told them what I thought: “He wasn’t doing his job, and he was harassing me.”
Eric found out I told people and DM’d me, said I was lying on his name, insulted my appearance and the cherry on top, threatened me (because of the rules I can’t say exactly what he said).
I don’t feel unsafe, he’s just pissed because I told the truth and now people know what kind of person he is. But part of me feels guilty since I technically don’t know the exact reason he was fired, even if I’m pretty sure my night with him and the things he said is what caused it. AITA for telling our coworkers?
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I work at a place that has microphones set up that pick up conversations, and you can literally hear every. single. word. Which sucks because we can’t gossip :(. Aside from that the job is so easy and I enjoy the people I work with.
One of my coworkers, Eric, seemed chill at first, but over time he started crossing my obvious boundaries by flirting with me CONSTANTLY after I told him I had a boyfriend. He texted me a few times, he got my number somehow but I ignored him. He made comments about my body, and told other coworkers I was “hot.”
One night his flirtation toward me escalated. For example, I mentioned I was turning 18, he said he was “so excited!” because I could join an adult website soon. He asked me creepy questions like if I ate pineapple or drank cranberry juice and said he knew “it tasted good”, and when I bent over, he commented on the color of my underwear. He also barely worked that night and just wandered around on his phone.
The next day, my boss called me into the office. He showed me camera footage and explained that the microphones had picked up our conversations from the night prior. Boss said, “When I’m done listening to these, Eric may not have a job.” and “what he is saying does not belong in a workplace”
That day when Eric came into work he was taken into the office, came out a few minutes later then left without a word. My coworkers started asking me why he was fired since we were never officially told the reason. Since I was there the night that caused him to get fired, I told them what I thought: “He wasn’t doing his job, and he was harassing me.”
Eric found out I told people and DM’d me, said I was lying on his name, insulted my appearance and the cherry on top, threatened me (because of the rules I can’t say exactly what he said).
I don’t feel unsafe, he’s just pissed because I told the truth and now people know what kind of person he is. But part of me feels guilty since I technically don’t know the exact reason he was fired, even if I’m pretty sure my night with him and the things he said is what caused it. AITA for telling our coworkers?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took was telling my coworkers about my ex-coworkers conduct. I think I may be the asshole because I told people the “reason” someone was fired without being certain about it and not knowing for sure and spreading something that may have not even been true.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA – if your work didn’t have you sign anything like an NDA, and your boss didn’t indicate you couldn’t mention anything, then also shouldn’t be an issue in the workplace. Would recommend you communicate with your boss/HR (whichever makes more sense in your workplace) with the phone records of him continuing communication (also that you do not know how he got your number in the first place, meaning he or someone else potentially looked at your file which is likely not legal). At the very least, you are ensuring a paper trail if he escalates and you need to get a restraining order or take further action.
ESH- he obviously for the reasons in your post. You telling people why is an AH move. You just let it go. Justice was served. Just wasn’t necessary
You need a big dose of LEARN HOW TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. When someone is removed from their position, it is only the business of the employee and HR. Learn from this experience and just do your job.
You are not the AH, you have a good boss who stepped in when it was necessary.
Do other coworkers of yours have your personal phone number? If not, it is possible that Eric accessed workplace information in the office – which is against privacy laws! – to gain access to your number. If that is possible, you should tell your boss.
Block Eric, he got fired for being a bad employee and harassing an underaged colleague. Do not respond to any of his contact attempts. Make it clear to anyone who asks that he harrassed you and there is recordings of that, that you told him to stop and that he threatened you.
You did nothing wrong.
NTA
What happened to you and the way Eric behaved was bullshit, it’s inexcusable, but sadly you’re TA for giving your coworkers that answer without knowing what was actually said between Eric and your boss. Rule of life- don’t speak to what you’re not sure of and by all means, don’t spread gossip. Gossip is for the lowest of people. You’re better than that. I hope you’re doing well after being subjected to that creep!
NTA: Show these new DMs to your boss. They will 100% want to know this behavior has continued after he was fired. Sounds like your boss genuinely cares about your safety. Then, block the sumbish.
NTA—speculating on why someone was fired isn’t always a great look, but Eric is so supremely in the wrong that I think you’re in the clear here.
YTA…..
You are not the first person to do this….and you won’t be the last….
As far as Eric is concerned you don’t know anything…..
If your boss wants to say something…they will…just please leave it alone
And block Eric….if you haven’t already…you should block Eric…
And to be safe…don’t even be alone with Eric….ever….
NTA – You aren’t speaking badly of him, he acted badly and you’re speaking the truth. This one’s on him.
NTA. Your boss could have simply not told you, or specifically asked you to keep quiet, if there was any reason that was necessary.
All of these commenters telling OP she should’ve keep her mouth shut are all contributing to the rampant culture of sexual harassment against women in our society. OP was being sexually harassed for weeks. It is not OP’s job to protect the reputation of a creep. Creeps like him continue their behavior precisely because no one has ever called them out on their inappropriate behavior. Eric is upset that he won’t be able to behave that way anymore, because too many people will be scrutinizing his actions.
Emphatically, OP is NTA.