(26M & 26F) We’re married since 2 years and live in a rented 2 bhk. The 2nd room is treated as guest bedroom, where our respective parents and siblings usually come to stay for 1-2 weeks every 3-4 months.
Her sister (24F) recent went through a messy breakup and went back to live with her parents. They think that their daughter is the victim but actually, she’s the one who cheated. Me & my wife knows the truth as I’ve a great bonding with her ex. He showed us concrete proofs.
One thing I made clear with my wife is, I don’t care if she still keeps relations with her sister, but I won’t talk to her. She may come to our house but can’t stay for more than a day. Cheaters gives me icks.
Now, her parents wants my SIL to stay with us for sometime as a support. My wife didn’t raise any objection. We had a big fight over it. Who wants a cheater to live in your house?
The fight ended with her saying that to keep things fair, my brother won’t be allowed to stay at our home as well. However, I find this logic deeply flawed, her sister is a cheater, my brother is a awesome young man.
It has strained our relationship. AITA here?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
(26M & 26F) We’re married since 2 years and live in a rented 2 bhk. The 2nd room is treated as guest bedroom, where our respective parents and siblings usually come to stay for 1-2 weeks every 3-4 months.
Her sister (24F) recent went through a messy breakup and went back to live with her parents. They think that their daughter is the victim but actually, she’s the one who cheated. Me & my wife knows the truth as I’ve a great bonding with her ex. He showed us concrete proofs.
One thing I made clear with my wife is, I don’t care if she still keeps relations with her sister, but I won’t talk to her. She may come to our house but can’t stay for more than a day. Cheaters gives me icks.
Now, her parents wants my SIL to stay with us for sometime as a support. My wife didn’t raise any objection. We had a big fight over it. Who wants a cheater to live in your house?
The fight ended with her saying that to keep things fair, my brother won’t be allowed to stay at our home as well. However, I find this logic deeply flawed, her sister is a cheater, my brother is a awesome young man.
It has strained our relationship. AITA here?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> my action of treating my wife’s sister and my brother differently should be judged. It might make me asshole
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
YTA,
Her sister is not a good person for cheating but that is still her sister. tbh, this is honestly none of your business.
You do not have to like the sister, but unilaterally banning her from your house is not fair to your wife. If she can’t invite her sister, I feel like its fair to say you can’t invite your brother, but ideally both are welcome
Regardless of how you feel about your SIL – you have “banned” your wife’s sister from staying over with you & so she has returned fire with fire & is doing exactly the same with your brother – and TBH you can’t blame her.
Would you be as bothered if you hadn’t been as tight with SIL’s husband?
Is cheating wrong? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, the sister’s cheating doesn’t have a personal effect on you. That’s your wife’s family and clearly she is sticking by her sister. Why blow up your marriage over her sister’s mistake? YTA
NAH. you’re allowed to not want people in your house based on how you view their character. but if you ban her, you can’t blame her for banning your brother. even if he is an ‘awesome young man’, what if he had a flaw that she considered as evil as you consider cheating? as horrible as cheating is, its a mistake. people make them all the time.
Nta I wouldn’t want her in my house either
YTA.
What her sister does in her bed and with her vagina is none of your business.
You’re not her ex, you don’t have to evict her like she’s wearing a scarlett letter. She didn’t do anything to you, so ibasically your new rule is “no sibling in the house”, and your wife is right to forbid your brother to stay too.
Tbh her sister doesn’t have a place to live rn, she’s obviously not in the right but that’s still her sister at the end of the day. Your wife’s still is being the asshole by bringing your brother into. But I think yall just need to talk properly and the situation and have a bit of understanding about each other point of view.
YTA
Should your SIL have cheated? No that was wrong and hurtful, but that being said, it’s between her and her ex, you are not part of that relationship
But come on it’s your wife’s sister and needs her sister, do you really want to ruin your own marriage over this?
Choose your battles, this is not one for you to fight
YTA – you don’t get to police your wife’s relationship with her family. Cheating is gross but people who do bad things aren’t always bad people.
YTA.
While I agree their logic is flawed regarding bringing your brother into this at all, you aren’t inviting her to a couples retreat with her ex going and not knowing.
You are acting like she cheated on YOU.
Does she rob people too?
Has she ever flirted with you?
Isolating your wife from her sister, who sounds like is kind to you and doesn’t destroy your home while she is there (otherwise it would have been stated in this post) is some asshole nonsense.
Whatever issue she was having with HER EX in HER past relationship that led to her cheating and ultimately them BREAKING UP is resolved and has nothing to do with you. She cheated. Their relationship is over. Move on. Get a life. Stop trying to crucify her sister as if you are perfect. Are you?
Don’t let relatives pressure you into letting someone move into your house. the reason they want you to let them move in with you is because they don’t want to be dealing with your wife’s sister to begin with. they’re trying to dump that bucket of s*** on you
Don’t do it. tell your wife the answer is no and tell her to stand up to her parents and tell them no and but you might try one thing with your wife. try to reason with her and ask her this question
would your wife let her sister move in if she wasn’t being pressured by her parents?..
I’m going to say that the parents are trying to pressure you in the letting your wife’s sister move in with you is because they don’t want to deal with that crap
Like others have said, cheating is absolutely wrong, but I could see why your partner would want her sister to stay with you guys. Family is family. I’d draw a line in the sand with how long she stays, and make a compromise. I would absolutely have the same objections too, but it seems like you’re gonna have to work something out with your wife.
NTA
tell your wife, it’s not the same but The maximum they can stay is 1-2 days
How often does your brother come over to stay? I’m afraid this might strain your relationship with your wife if she doesn’t see the issue
NTA. You share the apartment and having anyone stay must be a 2 person decision. Therefore, her refusing your brother even if it is just as a reaction to your decision is also fair.
NTA: You’re in charge of setting the mortality of your home
You said the boundary
Let her sister stay, you go chill with your brother
Birds of a feather and all that.
NTA
YTA
Your SIL stuffed up but it’s got nothing to do with you.
Your wife’s response is completely logical.
You banned SIL because of your cheating ick, which impacts your wife. She’s banning your brother because of her ick for unfairness towards her, so now you’re equally impacted.
Her sister cheated, your brother didn’t, and you’re the one trying to keep basic standards in your own home. It’s not about picking sides, it’s about common sense. Stand your ground, this logic is straight-up broken.
NTA, but not for the reason most people are saying, but because the parents have no right dictating who will be staying in your home and how long they will be staying with you. Nip that in the bud before they have other people staying with you.
YTA.
It’s your wife’s sister. Assuming they have a good relationship, it’s not fair of you to ban her from your house. She did something bad, but you or your wife isn’t the victim here, so it just seems immature to ban her. Sister needs emotional support right now, and after things have cooled down you help her realize and accept what she’s done and hopefully she won’t do it again. Good luck.
Soft YTA, because (with all due respect) you’re really quite young and maybe a little overwhelmed about these sort of things actually happening in the grown up world. You seem offended by her actions, even though it doesn’t concern you and doesn’t influence you.
Cheating is generally bad, but it’s not your place to carry out punishment, apart from the fact that ‘being shunned by everyone including her own family’ is way too much of a punishment for a lapse of judgement that’s not even illegal.
YTA. You are trying to separate siblings. People make mistakes, but you love your siblings even when they make mistakes. Family is important.
You say you won’t keep her from seeing her sister? Well, how fucking generous of you. 🙄 If you want this marriage to work, you will have to find a way to be around your SIL again.
Ffs cheating is not like murdering someone or committing a hate crime. It’s not good but it’s not a reason to completely ostracize someone.
NTA, I get that she’s your wife’s sister and they might have a great bond. But she did cheat and it’s your house too, so if that’s something you don’t want in your house, then that’s your every right.
She can live w her parents who condone cheating anyways.
The biggest reason why your wife is TA is not even for supporting her sister, I can understand that, it’s still her blood. It’s the fact she’s roping your innocent brother and you into this, essentially punishing you both for not wanting to support disgusting behaviour like cheating.
You are the A 100%. Your logic is deeply flawed and that is the nice way of saying it. Your wife mirrored your own logic, I suspect on purpose since you can’t be reason with.
YTA, its not your business about her cheating; she didn’t personally cheat on you and the fact that you’re trying to sabotage your wives relationship with her sister, gives off a red flag behavior. Yes she cheated and thats entirely up between her and her ex.
YTA
What her sister did is shitty but it doesn’t have anything to do with you, and you don’t have to worry about her cheating on YOU, so I don’t see how banning her from your house makes any sense. If you weren’t friends with the sister’s ex, you might not even know about the cheating.
It sounds like you had no problem with the sister until this happened, so she must not be an awful person. Even otherwise good people make mistakes and do shitty things sometimes. That doesn’t make them shitty people.
If her being around bothers you that much, get a hotel or go stay with sister’s ex when she’s at your house. At the end of the day, it’s your wife’s house too and you don’t get to unilaterally decide someone isn’t welcome, unless she can make the same type of decision (sounds like she did). What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
NTA if she can stay with her parents that’s fine. It’s up to both you and your wife who come into your home. But you do need to understand that if she has nowhere else to go your wife will support her sister. But denying her a roof at all then YTA.
Everyone’s saying “she made a mistake, it doesn’t affect you”. Lmao
NTA I’m wondering why your in-laws are kicking your SIL out? I mean she HAS a place to stay with them. But now they want her “to stay with you for some time as support.” Define “some time.” An hour? A day? A month? Brings me back to wondering why they are kicking her out.
However, bottom line: DON’T LET HER MOVE IN, she won’t move out. You have every right to be comfortable in your home
YTA. Cheaters suck. But, in this case, you need to drop it. She didn’t cheat on you. You don’t get to judge. Sil effed up and is looking for some support from her sister. You don’t want to talk to her? Fine. But you don’t get to dictate your wife’s relationship with her sister. And sorry, wife is right. If her sister can’t stay, then neither can your brother. It’s entirely about the siblings and not the cheating, because again, she didn’t cheat on you. Flip it around. What if your brother had a lapse in judgment and cheated? Would ice him out of your life like this? Would you like if your wife did the same, like you’re doing to her sister right now? If you have a good and loving relationship with him, I’m willing to bet you’d separate the cheating part from your own relationship with him and give the support he asked for.
YTA softly.
You are letting you SILs indiscretions negatively impact your marriage. There is taking a stand on something, but this is not the hill to die on that you think it is
Yta, the sister is 24, they weren’t married, she’s your wife’s family, and having “the ick” is an immature, lame excuse.
YTA
Cheating on a partner is wrong but it isn’t any of your business. Your wife isn’t gonna not have a relationship with her sister for the rest of her life because of you and your objections. Mind your own business.
Side eyeing anyone that is excusing cheating.
Cheaters are liars capable of betraying someone who they are suppose to love the most in the world.
Frankly I can understand some murders. No cheating is ever excuseable.
Cheaters are assholes
You’re definitely an AH. Your wife’s sister cheated on her partner. That’s grounds to end the relationship, but it’s got nothing to do with you or your wife. To judge her for it is an AH move. You don’t know what else happened in that relationship. You weren’t in her shoes. She shouldn’t have cheated, but her choice had nothing to do with you, and to treat her like she’s to wear that choice forever with other people who weren’t part of it isn’t okay.
Your wife wants to punish your brother so that you experience the pain of having your sibling banned because your spouse is being arbitrary and capricious. That’s a good way for you to understand the experience you’re giving your wife, but it’s unfair to your brother, who, like your sister in law, hasn’t done anything to merit this arbitrary judgemental punishment. This is also wrong, and while her motivations are pure (to help you understand that you’re being an AH by giving you an experience to help you empathize with her), the fact that he choice had innocent victims too makes her an AH too.
ESH
YTA
NTA. Explain to everyone why you don’t want her to stay. It’ll be easier that way
ESH. You can’t possibly be surprised that your wife did a tit for tat on you. Your SIL’s relationship is not your business.
Cheaters give you the icks? Are you 5?
The former relationship is none of your business and you can’t stop your wife from having her sister over. I’d divorce you in a heartbeat
YTA
YTA. Stop acting like a child. You don’t have to like the woman because of what she’s done, but you can’t ban her from yours and YOUR WIFES home and expect her to not react. Grow up!
YTA. Cheating is wrong but also it’s between her and her husband, not her and her family.
Also I think there’s something more going on. Sounds like her ex husband showed you all the the receipts of her cheating but not the receipts of the failing marriage before. Cheating is never ok. She should have left him BEFORE. But that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t have left him. You just don’t know and her ex isn’t going to be the one that’s going to tell you because he might not even know (or realise, even though it was very clear). All of that is between them not you. Your wife and her family are right for supporting her. YTA.
Nta, as some said, it’s not your in-law’s right to have her stay. If she is so ashamed of her behavior that her parents don’t know she cheated, she probably shouldn’t have. To me, 3 reasons exist to cheat. 2 are abuse, and one is stranded on a deserted island. If she cheated and you like her ex and don’t want people who do such actions around you, you are fair to prevent that. Your wife can see her sister where her sister gets support, and you do not need to involve yourself, Banning your brother is petty and to get back at you.
If you have kids, would your wife want them to learn cheaing is ok? Is your wife fine with infidelity? If a friend of yours cheated on his wife and you supported him in that, would he be welcomed? If you are ashamed of behavior, you should not do it, and i believe this is evident in your sister-in law hiding her cheating but also by giving her a place to stay that validates her behavior. Condoneing it, would she want to stay if you bring up her behavior in the way she faced it while they had her ex over often to game?
I’d lose respect for someone, and it would be hard to show you love them but cant respect them all the time.
YTA banning her sister was unnecessary and she is upset about it and she’s trying to even the score
Well, at least you now know what your future ex-wife thinks about cheating.
As for the people who say it has nothing to do with you, maybe not, but I didn’t want to interact with that kind of person in my house.
NTA
YTA you weren’t in your SILs relationship and it really doesn’t concern you. You don’t have to like or trust your SIL. But blowing up your marriage over something that is really none of your fucking business is immature.
YTA. You cant ban your spouse’s close family member because she cheated. She wasnt married. And her relationship is none of your business.
You caused this mess by pretending you can ban your wife’s sister.
You need to let go of this ban nonsense and talk to your wife.
Together the two of you can discuss who the two of you would like to welcome in the home that the two of you share.
It doesn’t matter why they broke up.
Your SIL gets higher priority than your friend….unless your wife says so.
Once you fix this mess with your SIL I’m sure your brother will be welcome.
ESH, “if I can’t then you can’t too” is a great mentality which surely won’t cause many issues.
A very weird hill to die on, “she cheated on someone else so she can’t come”. Sure, you are free to say that if you were living alone. But you aren’t, so you should be a goddamn grown up and accept the fact that she is family for your wife and your wife still cares about her, even if you don’t.
Just start flirting with the sister when she stays. Problem solved. Also, NTA.
You’re a 26 year old man and you’re talking about getting the “ick” and she wasn’t even married?
What the Kentucky fried fuck is wrong with you? Grow up.
NTA for not wanting a cheater in your house. But if your wife feels that your rule should apply to all siblings, I suggest her parents should make the final decision, after they have a chance to review your BIL’s proof of who cheated so the understand who is the true victim. I assume they will still love & support their daughter, but they need all the details regarding you & wife’s disagreement so they can be fair.
Stop having your family stay in your apartment. Hang out naked and fuck your wife!
I see where you are coming from, but your approach, to be blunt, just isn’t worth it. You can die on the hill of principle, while seriously damaging your relationship with your spouse in the process. If you insist, you’ll win the battle but lose the war. I have the same disdain for the cheater, but if you carry on with your current course of action the collateral damage will be severe. This is a textbook case of pick your battles. Took me too long to learn that lesson myself.
Soft YTA because of the return on investment to continue your current course of action not being worth it.
YTA.
Are you punishing her for life? No forgive and forget? One error, and your life is permanently over? Are you really that guy?
So I’m going to be down voted seeing the trend already. Whatever. Ew to cheaters. Yeah nta. 100% would not be able to keep the look of disgust off my face around them if I were in your shoes. And normally I would say e.s.h. that banning her out right was an overreaction on your part had it not been for you mentioning HER PARENTS ARE UNDER THE IMPRESSION SHE IS THE VICTIM and they asked for this favor on her behalf. AND YOU SAY THE ONLY REASON YOU KNOW THE TRUTH IS BECAUSE YOU’RE FRIENDS WITH EX AND HE SHOWED YOU CONCRETE PROOF?? Which in turn leads me to believe that at some point she tried to or would’ve tried to lie to you two as well. (Some may call it a reach I see it as an educated guess.)
That’s enough for me to never want her around me. Even if it were my sister. I know what cheating does. We all do in my family because of seeing my mom humiliate herself for a man not worth shit for decades, she shouldn’t have stayed married that long, but any way. Ain’t nobody coddling that shit. I can feel bad that her life is being flipped, as a sibling, because even though it is just her getting the consequences of her messy actions, I still would hold some empathy. Especially if it affected her living situation/job. That’s rough. But living with me to “heal because Mommy and Daddy think I’m the victim🥹”? Ma’am.. get out. Go tell our parents what you did please or tell em to stop hounding me to help you like this before I tell em why.
NTA. And I would just keep the nugget tucked away that your wife doesn’t understand or doesn’t want to admit she understands why it grosses you out to have her live with you for any period of time. And instead of seeing your rational aversion to cheaters with an open mind and tries to get a compromise first, she bans someone special to you solely to be petty right out the gate. I’d keep that in a pocket.
YTA this is going to be unpopular but what her sister did relates to her relationship. Its not like she’s a theft or physically harmed someone, which are all things that she could easily do to you. Instead she cheated, which was a moral failing on her part but it has nothing to do with her staying with you. She no longer has a home. Her relationship ended because of her actions and her sister now wants to help her out, which are what siblings do. It doesn’t sound like your wife condones her cheating, she just doesn’t want to leave her high and dry.
If you want to die on this hill then you should not be shocked that it has come back to bite you. Of course your wife is going to be resentful and petty over you helping your sibling out when you refuse to allow her to do the same. It is her home too.
YTA. Stop being so sanctimonious and support your family.
NTA. People who are cheaters and miserable tend to try to pressure and encourage others to make their mistake so that they don’t feel as bad about themselves. I’ve seen it so many times. I wouldn’t want her in my home either. That said, this isn’t a hill to die on if it’s going to harm your marriage.
YTA. I could go everyone sucks here as well but you wrote this like a sanctimonious, holier than thou type.
Regardless, your home is shared space. You both get to contribute input on house guests.
You have a right to ban people from your home for your reasons, as does your wife. Don’t play with fire and expect not to get burned.
YTA
Grow up dude. You’re acting like a 14 year old. You’ve made something about you that you have nothing to do with and inserted yourself as the moral authority.
People are more than their worst choices, and her breakup has nothing to do with you. By obsessing over it, you’re making her pain (and your wife’s) all about your “moral ick”, whatever the fuck that means.
Your wife is right to push back, because this isn’t about her sister it’s about control. You set a rule that wasn’t negotiated, and now you’re shocked she’s making it “fair” by setting her own. That’s what happens when you start dictating.
You don’t have to like your SIL. You don’t have to hang out with her. But banning her from staying in your wife’s home just because you’ve decided she’s beneath you is self righteous and petty.
If you want a marriage that lasts, stop treating your wife’s family like you are above them and start working on boundaries that respect both of you.
YTA. It’s her home too. Shes allowed to have her sister stay over, you don’t have to be on speaking terms with her but you also don’t get to be the judge and the jury on her staying over to be with her sister (your wife).
Shes bringing your brother in it to show you how ridiculous you’re being. No loyal people can respect a cheater and you’re fair to take a dislike to her now but her relationship with her ex is none of your business to be totally fair. Surely the EX even agrees.
NTA. But it doesn’t matter about being the asshole or not the only things that matters are is it worth the fight, do you want to maintain your relationship and would is whatever yall do be sustainable for your relationship. Me and some of my in laws don’t like each other they still don’t know I don’t like them and I only found out recently they didn’t like me. It makes my wife happy when we get along so we do (I do it for her idk why they do it) but that is sustainable for mine. In my case is it worth the fight (no because I know how we both feel so fighting won’t change it) do I want to maintain the relationship (yes) is doing this sustainable (yes)
NTA, I think it’s fine to judge someone’s character based on something like cheating and decide that they’re too untrustworthy to live with and spend resources supporting. I also think your wife’s decision to ban your brother is obviously just childish retaliation and besides being AH behavior, shows that she’s pretty childish.
YTA
it is not for you, an unrelated party, to so heavily condemn someone. You can judge all you want. But you can’t codemn – “I won’t be speaking to her ever”. “I won’t let to stay in or our(!!) house ever”.
Yes, cheating is very bad, but it is within that couple. What you have to do is ensure that there is no cheating in your family. What you can also do – is help SIL to unpack her feeling so that she is a better person going forward.
I have never cheated. But if I ever do (I don’t think I will) it is no one’s business. Apart from the involved parties. It is not like it is illegal. It is just morally questionable.
If you think that you can unilaterally decide that your SIL can’t stay with you, then your wife can unilaterally decide that your brother can’t stay with you.
YTA
I find that in this situation, your wife’s parents are the AH’s.
If your parents are so worried about your wife’s sister’s well-being, then they should take full responsibility.
I think you should frame it a different way than saying “I don’t want a cheater in my house for more than a day” to “your parents are expecting me to clean up another adult’s mess and basically telling me that she gets to stay at our residence for an indefinite amount of time. And I don’t feel comfortable that you are going along with it.”
ESH. Your SIL cheated, you banned her from her house and to “be fair” your wife wants to ban your kid. WTF is wrong with you people?
My thing is, why you out here cheating if you have place to stay if you were to get caught. Play stupid games and win stupid prizes
You don’t like her sister, fine whatever. Maybe your wife thinks your brother is a bag of dicks. Vito goes to both parties.
Yta
This app never fails bro. Please don’t listen to these people. Very easily NTA. If you cheat on someone how can I trust you to be loyal to me and lay your head where my family is?
Personally I would build your wife’s sister a doghouse for when she visits so that shes not having to get out of character. Sorry about this situation man, asshats like that dont deserve much courtesy.
All these people saying YTA you would keep a cheater in your life?? You would let a cheater stay in your home?? Your friend cheats on his wife and youre staying friends with him?? Yall weird.
NTA OP, its okay to have standards.
NTA. For all the cheaters in the comment section, don’t be cheating if you know that you got no home of your own to go to if you get caught. It’s one thing to cheat, it’s another thing to cheat on the person you are depending on for shelter
Here’s a real simple fix. Tell her parents she cheated. You don’t want her there fine. Since your wife want to be extra petty. Tell the parents the truth. That their daughters a cheat. And you don’t want her bringing that around your marriage.
YTA, sorry, but this is your wife’s decision to make. It’s her family and her sister didn’t do anything to you personally. My sister cheated on her fiance too and he’s one of the best people I know. I will always know she was wrong and it sucks more because she married her affair partner, but she’s family. I just know she is willing to lie to the people she cares about most and not to believe her blindly now.
This board is hilarious. 9/10 times its “fuck cheaters” but OP being a guy means “you have to support the cheater cuz family!”
There is little consistency.
YTA It’s your shared house you don’t get to make unilateral decisions about who is there and neither does she. The ex boyfriend won’t stay around for ever but the sister will you don’t have to like what she did but you have to decide if it’s worth ruining your marriage over
Gonna go with ESH a lot of people wanna call you an asshole and you are a little you can make boundaries with her but the way you worded it sounds kinda childish man. While I get your gripes and personally I wouldn’t want her in my place to wallow over the fact that she put herself in this situation and is now upset about it just doesn’t seem that you went about the right way to express your opinion about the situation.
YTA – is the only reason you now have an issue with her is due to her cheating? She’s a good person to you otherwise?
Then it’s NONE of your business, the cheating has no bearing on you or your home
‘but trust!’ But trust this – you weren’t in that relationship so you really don’t know WTF happened – no matter what they both say. And his ‘proofs’ or being your best bonding mate don’t matter – nothing in they relationship concerns you or is ya business right meow so step.
Is wife being out of pocket? Sure, same way your logic on sister is flawed & ridiculous to her – YOU don’t get to forbid sister from the SHARED house based on biased opinions – if she always been solid to you then STFU b/c again – not you MFing problem
Now, having her stay for extended time is a whole other fuckin’ ball & not the AH for being upset on that front –
But you are SO much more the AH for nosing into others private affairs & being a judgy, righteous blue waffle –
I thought the world of my opinions @ 25 too, but 25 years later I know better how to acknowledge them & when to truly incorporate them into life. And when to see they are my bias & STFU myself
NTA, question for the people here.
Shouldn’t op being comfortable in his own house be enough of a reason????
Some comments here are saying cheating isn’t that bad, and your wife can support her sister at her lowest.
But at the end of the day it’s your living space, and for whatever reason if you find huge discomfort in allowing a cheater into your home, that does matter. Your wife should find another solution as I’m sure her sister living there isn’t the only solution.
You need to be comfortable at your own home. It’s fair to ask that of your partner.
I agree with op. Because for one thing wife’s sister could actually cause him to cheat on his wife.
INFO: How long is “some time”? You’re allowed to object to an indefinite border.
But that’s not what this is about. You’re getting between your wife and her sister over something that is fundamentally not your business. This is the first step on the road to divorce. Drop it. YTA.
YTA
I reaaaaally wonder if people would be this supportive if all genders were swapped lmao