One of my best friends always gets mad about stuff I do or say and she keeps just making remarks about my behavior but doesn’t directly talk to me about what she is angry or upset about. I really love her and I enjoy spending time with her, we have been friends for years and been through a lot together so even though I feel angry about her behavior, i let it slide. We work in the same place, and a few days ago I was in the break room, I handled everything I had to do for that day and wanted to rest a bit, she also came in and when she saw me she said “oh we finally saw each other today, come on, make a coffee so we can chat and spend our breaks together” and I was really tired, l literally just sat down. So I said I was feeling really tired but I would have a coffee if she could make one. (I always pay for both of our coffees if we order them or I make the coffee like %80 of the time)
She started talking about how she never asks me for anything but when she decides to ask for one small favor I act like this etc, I just laughed it off and didn’t even reply but she kept talking, I said I was really tired and that I didn’t even need coffee anymore so she could have one herself if she really wanted to. She got really mad for some reason and just said “I’ll go spend my break alone then, don’t join me if you don’t want to” and I said “okay, you can spend your break alone I guess”. She doesn’t really talk to me now and if she is in the break room and I enter, she just gets up and leaves lol. The argument between us was longer ofc, I just can’t write it all here but basically we argued while our other colleagues were around. I am pretty sure she is waiting for me to go talk to her and apologize or something but I don’t really feel like doing it. Am I the asshole here?
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One of my best friends always gets mad about stuff I do or say and she keeps just making remarks about my behavior but doesn’t directly talk to me about what she is angry or upset about. I really love her and I enjoy spending time with her, we have been friends for years and been through a lot together so even though I feel angry about her behavior, i let it slide. We work in the same place, and a few days ago I was in the break room, I handled everything I had to do for that way and wanted to rest a bit, she also came in and when she saw me she said “oh we finally saw each other today, come on, make a coffee so we can chat and spend our breaks together” and I was really tired, l literally just sat down. So I said I was feeling really tired but I would have a coffee if she could make one. (I always pay for both of our coffees if we order them or I make the coffee like %80 of the time)
She started talking about how she never asks me for anything but when she decides to ask for one small favor I act like this etc, I just laughed it off and didn’t even reply but she kept talking, I said I was really tired and that I didn’t even need coffee anymore so she could have one herself if she really wanted to. She got really mad for some reason and just said “I’ll go spend my break alone then, don’t join me if you don’t want to” and I said “okay, you can spend your break alone I guess”. She doesn’t really talk to me now and if she is in the break room and I enter, she just gets up and leaves lol. The argument between us was longer ofc, I just can’t write it all here but basically we argued between our other coworkers. I am pretty sure she is waiting for me to go talk to her and apologize or something but I don’t really feel like doing it. Am I the asshole here?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1 I argued with a real close friend mine because she asked me for coffee and acted a bit too strict
2 we argued while our coworkers were around and we never spoke after that happened
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA she was playing toxic power tripping games, sounds like its not a new dynamic, it’s just new for you to stand up for yourself and say no.
Controlling behaviour, not your real friend.
It would have been nice to provide a reason or an example as to why you “enjoy spending time with her.” I find nothing about your post or about the incident that you describe to be enjoyable. NTA
NTA. Friends don’t act like that. Maybe she is jealous of you or something is bothering her that she isn’t telling you
NTA. Your “friend” isn’t very friendly. She is okay with you doing shit for her but if you ask it’s a big problem. She’s no friend. Friends doing act like that.