My sibling is 18 and has a part-time job. We divided some chores in our house, but a lot of times he doesn’t do his, even when I remind him. These are chores that have to be done, so I usually end up just doing them. Because this has happened so many times, I decided to charge him $1 for each chore I do on his behalf, sometimes up to $5 depending on how long it takes.
He has his own restroom that only he uses, but he doesn’t clean it, so it becomes really dirty and smelly. My mom ends up cleaning it for him. After school, he’s always on his phone or playing games online with his friends. They talk and curse loudly from evening until 1–2 a.m. I’ve told him to turn off the light and his loud music before going to sleep, and he says he does, but I’ve caught him many times sleeping with the light on and the music playing until morning. When I confronted him, he said that he wasn’t sleeping but I could hear him snoring.
My responsibility is to sweep and mop the house. I clean my mom and my restroom. His responsibility is mowing the lawn, which isn’t a weekly job, just whenever the grass gets too high. But he rarely does it, so my mom ends up cutting and trimming the grass herself.
AITA for asking him to pay half of the electric bill (I pay the other half) plus the chores I have to do for him?
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My sibling is 18 and has a part-time job. We divided some chores in our house, but a lot of times he doesn’t do his, even when I remind him. These are chores that have to be done, so I usually end up just doing them. Because this has happened so many times, I decided to charge him $1 for each chore I do on his behalf, sometimes up to $5 depending on how long it takes.
He has his own restroom that only he uses, but he doesn’t clean it, so it becomes really dirty and smelly. My mom ends up cleaning it for him. After school, he’s always on his phone or playing games online with his friends. They talk and curse loudly from evening until 1–2 a.m. I’ve told him to turn off the light and his loud music before going to sleep, and he says he does, but I’ve caught him many times sleeping with the light on and the music playing until morning. When I confronted him, he said that he wasn’t sleeping but I could hear him snoring.
My responsibility is to sweep and mop the house. I clean my mom and my restroom. His responsibility is mowing the lawn, which isn’t a weekly job, just whenever the grass gets too high. But he rarely does it, so my mom ends up cutting and trimming the grass herself.
AITA for asking him to pay half of the electric bill (I pay the other half) plus the chores I have to do for him?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I ask my sibling to pay for half of the electric bill because he doesn’t do his chores
2. He thinks it is unfair and I shouldn’t take his money.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, but good luck getting any money from this moocher.
Stop doing his chores and tell your mother that if he doesn’t start pulling his weight with chores and bills, you will start looking for other living options.
NTA, he’s grown enough to work and game all night, he’s grown enough to pay his share and pull his weight
More context needed – why do you pay half of the electric bill? is it a stipulation from your parents based on being an adult (i assume)?
I’m just a little confused why you have to take responsibility of his chores. It sounds like you guys live with your mom – so why aren’t you letting her take control of making him do his chores, or paying whatever consequence comes of not doing them?
Really sounds like you’re over-stepping?
When my brother lived with us, all the women were paying the bills at the house. He would get upset if we would ask him for money to pay half of the light bill. If we had to repair or replace an appliance, it would fall on us. This mostly has to do with the parents. They always have a favorite child that it doesn’t matter what they do, parents always favor them. Tell your mom to stop cleaning his grimy ass restroom. But like I said, she probably won’t stop and enables his behavior. Oh, and tell your mother that if she doesn’t expect her son to pay for bills, then you won’t be giving her any money.
Info
How old are you? What all do you financially support? Are you working full time or a student?
More info needed
NTA
Sounds like you each have different roles to contribute to the household, and he’s not carrying his weight.
But I would think it’s mom’s job to provide the consequences, if possible empower her to do so without putting pressure on her
In theory you are NTA, but in practice it is not your place to have that conversation with him. You need to express to your mom that if he is not going to contribute to chores and bills then you will be moving out and not contributing to a household that there is unfair division of financial and physical contributions. Let her decide if it is worth it to her to lose your contributions and talk to him herself.
More context needed, but from my understanding now, YTA. It sounds like you both live in your mom’s house and don’t pay rent, but are both responsible for chores, but only you are expected to pay the electric bill.
First, the chores. You say if he doesn’t do them you have to. Yet every chore you name that he doesn’t do you state your mom ends up doing them. So no you have no right to charge him for the chores your mom does for him.
Second, I’m guessing his habits were fairly similar prior to you taking on the bill, but either way you have no right to dictate when he has friends over or his lights or music on, considering it’s not your house.
If you have a problem with the arrangement then you need to speak to your mom, and not try to bully your brother into paying you.
ESH. Your mom is completely failing to parent your brother. However, that doesn’t make it your job to step in and try to parent him. You also don’t get to decide to charge him for utilities unless you pay for the house. Who owns the house or pays the rent?
You fail to mention how old you are, which is relevant info.
Are you an unemployed 30yr old still living at home with minimal responsibilities and sliding by paying 1/2 an electric bill or are you a 15yr old kid who is just trying to be the parent? Or are you living with your mom as an adult and you’re essentially roommates? This is relevant info for how much say you have as to what goes on in the household
Where is you mom (or dad) in all of this? Why aren’t they stepping in and creating some kind of order in the house? How did the arrangement come about that you are paying half the electric bill? Are you an adult or a child?
You left out way too many critical facts to make this post useful but regardless, unless it’s your house you have no right to charge your brother.
Make him pay rent