My (14f) parents divorced when I was 11. When they divorced my mom moved in with her sister in another state. Before they divorced my dad enrolled me in a boarding school for middle school instead of regular school. It’s one of the best schools in the state and I have autism and adhd and they have a lot of support for students with autism or ADHD. Like 30% of students have some type of learning disability. I love it here. They have a lot of activities after class and 6th grade was the first time since 2nd grade that I didn’t fail even though I knew the material. I also have friends here even tho I had a hard time making friends at home and I have therapy and group here.
When my parents divorced my mom asked me to tell my dad and his lawyer that I don’t wanna go to boarding school anymore and I want to live with her because she signed a prenup so she doesn’t get the house or money and the only way she can get money is if I live with her.
I told her I didn’t want to live with her because I really wanted to go to this school and she moved without me and she doesn’t visit or call and she doesn’t answer when my dad asks about me visiting.
My dad got an apartment near my school so he can visit on weekends. If he can’t visit my old nanny comes up to see me.
My mom called me and said she can’t live with her sister anymore so she wants me to ask my dad if she can use the apartment and I can stay with her and only be enrolled for the day school. I said no I like living here so she said I can still live here but I can see her on the weekends. I told her my dad uses the apartment to see me on the weekends and I don’t wanna stop seeing him. Now she’s mad at me and she’s back to not talking to me. AITA for not asking my dad to let her use the apartment?
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My (14f) parents divorced when I was 11. When they divorced my mom moved in with her sister in another state. Before they divorced my dad enrolled me in a boarding school for middle school instead of regular school. It’s one of the best schools in the state and I have autism and adhd and they have a lot of support for students with autism or ADHD. Like 30% of students have some type of learning disability. I love it here. They have a lot of activities after class and 6th grade was the first time since 2nd grade that I didn’t fail even though I knew the material. I also have friends here even tho I had a hard time making friends at home and I have therapy and group here.
When my parents divorced my mom asked me to tell my dad and his lawyer that I don’t wanna go to boarding school anymore and I want to live with her because she signed a prenup so she doesn’t get the house or money and the only way she can get money is if I live with her.
I told her I didn’t want to live with her because I really wanted to go to this school and she moved without me and she doesn’t visit or call and she doesn’t answer when my dad asks about me visiting.
My dad got an apartment near my school so he can visit on weekends. If he can’t visit my old nanny comes up to see me.
My mom called me and said she can’t live with her sister anymore so she wants me to ask my dad if she can use the apartment and I can stay with her and only be enrolled for the day school. I said no I like living here so she said I can still live here but I can see her on the weekends. I told her my dad uses the apartment to see me on the weekends and I don’t wanna stop seeing him. Now she’s mad at me and she’s back to not talking to me. AITA for not asking my dad to let her use the apartment?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I didn’t ask my dad even though my mom doesn’t have anywhere else to go so now my mom won’t talk to me again.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA- tell your dad she’s trying to pressure you into not doing what’s best for you. Your mom is a grownup and is involving you in grownup issues, which isn’t cool. She’s a big girl she can get a job and get her own place.
NTA. You should not be used as a pawn in your parents problems. I’m glad you are happy at school and good for you for advocating for yourself.
NTA. Your mom does not seem to have acted like a mother should. I’d continue to live your life with your dad.
OP you’re 14 you don’t have to do anything, your NTA at all. You’re very brave for stepping up against your Mother and protecting what you want. She seems more childish than you, and is throwing a tantrum because she’s not getting what she wants. I’d probably recommend talking to your dad about the way your mum is using you to get to him, as he cares about you greatly, or even talking to a trusted faculty member at your school. All the best OP
You’re NTA. Your mom is putting you in a terrible, awkward spot and it’s great that you are not caving in to her inappropriate and ridiculous demands.
NTA. Your dad sounds super supportive of you.
NTA. Listen to me and listen good… Your mother’s issues are not because of you. At no point should you feel guilty or think her actions are a reflection of you.
I am sorry that she is treating you this way, but I am glad that you have one stable parent and a nanny that adores you. I know it hurts and you feel conflicted, because she’s your mom. Maintain your boundaries and understand that is okay if you decide to not allow someone to have an active part in your life.
Keep shining bright and thriving ❤️
NTA. Your mom is the asshole, big time.
Unfortunately, this will not be the first time your mother disappoints you. Just from the little bit of her that you’ve revealed in this post – sorry, but she has issues that will permeate every interaction you have with her for the rest of your/her life.
You’re going to have to set a lot of boundaries with her. Might as well start now.