hello, ive never posted on reddit before but i kind of feel like im loosing my mind and i need other peoples insight.
i have a bf, weve only been dating for a few weeks, and this weekend is my birthday(well actually friday) but we had plans the other day – and he canceled last minute.
but we had plans for today (saturday) and i was really excited cause we were gonna go out and then i was gonna sleep over at his place.
but he canceled again day of because he’s stressed and has alot on his plate. and im really upset. and i told him he hurt my feelings but i understand why he canceled and the way he responded made me feel stupid. essentially, he said “i have assignments and theyre due soon, im sorry i canceled but i need to put school first”
and, i dont know, i just feel even worse now cause he sort of mansplained putting school first. and its like, im a stem major in a really hard program – i know school comes first.
but because of his reasoning, i feel guilty for being sad and upset with him and about it. am i allowed to be upset?
thank you 🙂
anywho TL;DR my bf canceled plans because of school and i feel guity for being sad
Comments
I think you’re feelings are valid. But his may be too, and you may need to understand that.
I think communication is really important. Have you or both of you really talked about each is feeling?
Also in my opinion, id say dont take it too hard. There’s always time. Just find a time that works for both of you and hang out then! 🙂
Yes, you are allowed to be upset. Considering that you haven’t been together for very long, and he’s making it clear that you’re not a priority to him, I’d end it with him if I were you. Obviously make your own decisions, but that’s my takeaway from what your situation.
Realistically your partner’s birthday is the one day you put your own stresses to one side for the sake of the person you love. If he can’t even do that in the honeymoon period where everything should be easy, I dread to think about how he’s going to behave years down the line. Relationships at this stage should be easy – fighting already is not a good sign.