There aren’t many attractions in my city, so I keep visiting this mall 1-2 times a month for window shopping & entertainment.
I was leaving the place after spending 2-3 hours there, decided to have a pee at the washroom near the mall’s exit. That area is full of women’s showrooms, so obviously, women’s restroom was full, unlike the men’s one.
Anyways, when i was entering the washroom, 2 girls (probably 17-18 yr old) blocked the entry with their hands. They said that they are guarding the gate as their friend is inside. Basically, men aren’t allowed inside men’s washroom because a female decided to do her business there.
I was already tired from walking in the mall for hours, no mood in going back to the first floor’s washroom. But they were being rigid as well. They tried to stop me by one of them putting their hand over my chest like a bouncer. Later I pushed their hands blocking the door and went inside. I was already very pissed by this thing, but before I could say anything after coming out, the girls had already started to create a drama by calling me a creep.
Somehow, their friend became the victim as she was on her painful periods, so she couldn’t get to the first floor.
Public gathered, guards came, I was standing firm as well. I could sense that I was the asshole in public’s eyes, most of them were women though. The guards, however, were neutral and their goal was to deescalate the situation. Now I’m back home but this event is still stuck in my head. I’m 23M.
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There aren’t many attractions in my city, so I keep visiting this mall 1-2 times a month for window shopping & entertainment.
I was leaving the place after spending 2-3 hours there, decided to have a pee at the washroom near the mall’s exit. That area is full of women’s showrooms, so obviously, women’s restroom was full, unlike the men’s one.
Anyways, when i was entering the washroom, 2 girls (probably 17-18 yr old) blocked the entry with their hands. They said that they are guarding the gate as their friend is inside. Basically, men aren’t allowed inside men’s washroom because a female decided to do her business there.
I was already tired from walking in the mall for hours, no mood in going back to the first floor’s washroom. But they were being rigid as well. So I pushed their hands and went inside. I was already very pissed by this thing, but before I could say anything after coming out, the girls had already started to create a drama by calling me a creep.
Somehow, their friend became the victim as she was on her painful periods, so she couldn’t get to the first floor.
Public gathered, guards came, I was standing firm as well. I could sense that I was the asshole in public’s eyes, most of them were women though. The guards, however, were neutral and their goal was to deescalate the situation. Now I’m back home but this event is still stuck in my head. I’m 23M.
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> AITA for pushing away the girls who were blocking the men’s restroom door, just because their friend was inside?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA they can’t do that
NTA – if she didn’t want to share a public bathroom with a male, she shouldn’t use a public male bathroom. That’s my perspective on it anyway
NTA. I have no issue with a woman who anting to use a stall if their bathroom is busy. I would never let someone tell me that the whole bathroom is “closed” while that 1 stall is occupied by their friend. Be an adult, take your piss/crap/period change out, and get on with stuff.
YTA.
Blocking the entrance to a restroom, even if it is the men’s room, is not appropriate and could have been resolved without physical contact. Pushing their hands escalated the situation and put you in the wrong legally and socially. While it is frustrating that someone was in pain, there were other ways to handle it like asking a guard for help or waiting your turn instead of using force.
Esh.The teenages for blocking a bathroom because they friend decided to use a mens restroom while not wanting men inside.
You for putting you hands on teenage girls, that is not ok at all. And stupid of you, that could get you in real trouble.
And society for caring so much and who uses what restroom. Just make all gender neutral bathrooms, with full doors already.
NTA
Female here old enough to be those girls’ mothers.
If they came home and told me this story, they’d be in for a rude awakening when I told them they were wrong.
Just because the men’s room is available doesn’t mean it’s theirs to claim. You did nothing wrong.
IMHOP YTA , you could’ve sucked it up and waited a few minutes for the girl to come out. It is annoying to have a long line for the women’s bathroom with the men’s bathroom 100% empty . You can’t blame them for using an empty bathroom , especially with a painful period. That said the young ladies should have been polite and apologetic to you about asking you to kindly wait a few minutes. More civility and politeness all around would have worked wonders here.
YTA… seriously.
ESH. They shouldn’t have been in the men’s room and you shouldn’t have touched them.
YTA. She wasn’t gonna die in there – she was coming out in short order. No woman wants to be in a mens room, and so yes, she was in there to avoid a long line bc she was in dire straits, so just wait the five minutes instead of fighting teens.
ESH. They were being very unreasonable and that’s not an acceptable behavior. but putting hands on anyone in public is a big escalation, much less a group of teenage girls. Turn around and get the mall security that you mentioned existing next time. Or honestly just yelling/speaking very firmly and sternly would’ve been better. I’m saying you’re partially TA here because you went straight to physical aggression instead of trying to solve the problem other ways first.
NTA. As a woman myself, I wouldn’t go in the men’s bathroom no matter what. Not my space. Those girls were in the wrong for even thinking they could use a men’s bathroom.
NTA
It doesn’t make any sense for her to occupy the whole washroom for herself. Obviously, they don’t care about other people.
Sooooo obviously not real. Yall don’t even try anymore.
NTA – Roles reversed and a group of guys blocking the ladies because their friend was inside, what would happen then……. I rest my case
Nta. Women complain when someone with the anatomy of a male invade womens spaces (and rightfully).
NTA. If anyone disagrees, consider if you would feel the same way if a bunch of men were trying to prevent a girl from going into the women’s room.
Clearly NTA.
F them.
As someone who lives in a country where 99% of the public rest rooms a gender neutral this whole story is just weird to read. That said NTA. You can decide to go do your business in a restroom of the opposite gender but you cannot demand people of the “correct” gender refrain from using it until you’re done. All the girls in this is a bunch of weirdoes who need to learn how to behave in public. They’re the creepy ones, wtf was the plan with the men already possibly in there? Were they going to throw them out. Teen girls are completely unhinged.
NTA when you gotta go you gotta go. You weren’t creeping and unless the men’s room did not have any stalls she should have been fine
NTA. I sympathize with women using the men‘s bathroom due to the lines, and it’s never bothered me to have women in the men‘s when I do my business. But I would also not let someone keep me from taking a necessary piss just because a woman is in there. That’s what stalls are for.
I have used a men’s bathroom. A few times as a women. There was no man inside of course and only once did someone come in as I was leaving and I felt horrible. All of these young women handled this wrong.
NTA.
Just tell them that you are identifying as a woman.
Nta. Imagine the inverse.
some people think the world revolves around their asshole, as my 10th grade bio teacher used to say
NTA
I worked security in a mall, had a family of Hispanics have one of their women use the men’s and they started guarding it , they tried to stop me too, I shoved them aside, went in and yelled at the woman . Called the cops on em
Eh, ESH a little bit, but I wouldn’t say you are wholly wrong or at fault. As a woman who has used a men’s restroom before, I don’t think you are in the wrong for using the restroom she was in. If she was unable to wait in line or make it to a bathroom on a different floor and needed a bathroom ASAP and chose to use the men’s bathroom, she needs to accept that men will still be using the bathroom if it isn’t a single stall room. It is what it is.
NTA. Like how men shouldn’t be in women’s toilets. The same goes here. They should have not been in there.
NTA, very entitled, but apparently they were also very young, so they did not know better.
So so NTA
NTA, as a woman the thing is… if there’s an emergency and you must use the men’s restroom then you need to be prepared for… gasp men to be in the men’s restroom! I’ve used the men’s restroom about twice, both of them single rooms with a locking door, not an open one. It would have to be an incredibly horrific emergency for me to dart into an open-style men’s restroom but I still wouldn’t expect my friends to try to keep men out.
NTA.
I am of the opinion that it is a human right to have access to a bathroom if possible, and gendered bathrooms is just a made up concept in Society.
I don’t see an issue with their friend peeing in the men’s washroom. I wouldn’t see an issue with a man going into a women’s washroom.
I think all bathrooms should be gender, neutral, and have fully locking doors in America.
They don’t have a right to block you from entering a space that is meant for your gender, because their friend was in a stall.
YTA. Call security or use another restroom. Don’t know if what they were doing was really a crisis if no (if no, ESH), but unless you were also having an emergency, then all you were doing was trying to assert dominance over a couple of kids and escalating the situation. It’s just a bathroom. You don’t need to take up arms to defend it.
NTA. I understand she was in a hard spot, but if you go into the men’s room, you risk a man being in there. They can’t bar people from the toilet because they couldn’t wait.
NTA: From a female – A painful period doesn’t prevent you from going to a different floor, or using a bathroom that you feel fits with your gender identity. Having a period doesn’t doesn’t give anyone the power to usurp whatever bathroom you want at your whim.
Also, barring someone from using the bathroom is ridiculous.
A little girl – that’s what these were – put herself in a bathroom, then got pissed off when someone needed to use it. To accuse you of being a creep for needing to use the bathroom is silly and was obviously said for shock value or to make YOU feel uncomfortable.
I’m wondering if they weren’t shoplifting or doing something sketchy in a bathroom that they assumed female adults wouldn’t enter, and male adults wouldn’t feel comfortable entering.
Entitlement at it’s worst.
YTA for not being able to put together a realistic story, what is this shit
NTA
NTA. They got physical with you knowing you wouldn’t respond in kind.
YTA. She had an emergency and the women’s was full. You could have waited 2 minutes instead of going in when you knew a teenage girl was in there. It’s gross.
NTA you can’t block people from entering a public restroom dafuq.
Mattering on the state, what they did was illegal…
NTA. They don’t own the restroom and can’t stop others going in.
Never underestimate the pricks you get defending the shitty actions of women in public. I legit saw a woman following a man trying to hit him several times and whipping him with a scarf and when he defended him after she tried to put hands on him a third/fourth time, because he pushed her back and she fell over, she had about 5 randomers defending her, insulting and shaming the man, even though she was the instigator and wouldn’t let him walk away in peace.
ESH. It’s not in common when a men’s restroom is completely empty and there is a long line for the women’s for a couple of women to go in quickly while someone stands guard, particularly if they urgently need to go. (Although I see this more often at venues like stadiums). In my area this is pretty accepted as long as the women are quick. Unless you were going to pee your pants, you could have waited as annoying as it was.
And no, I would not be upset if it was the reverse. If there was a reason the mens’ restroom had a long line, and a guy went into the women’s restroom when it was completely empty and asked women to wait to enter, I’d be fine with it. Honestly, I wouldn’t care if the guy came in even if there were people in there since at least women’s restrooms have stalls.
They should not have put their hands out, but what they did was is a somewhat socially accepted practice depending on your area. You needlessly escalated it. The real villains though are the people who design these venues. If the women’s restroom always has a line and the men’s restroom very rarely does or is often empty, then they need to add more stalls to the women’s restrooms so nobody is put in these situations.
NTA but kinda ESH
I’m sorry, but it is absolute bullshit that women and men get the same space for restrooms. The time spend in a bathroom is very much unequal. You’re not T A for wanting to use the restroom or demanding that you have priority, but a little grace wouldn’t have been out of the question either. The inherent inequality is not your fault, but it does absolutely suck when there are busy restrooms.
Those girls were probably being dramatic and entitled (I say this as a former female teenager) but at the same time, I don’t know what that girl’s period situation was and yeah, there are such things as emergencies, even if it is just discomfort. I wouldn’t have hesitated to use an empty men’s restroom, but I also wouldn’t have stopped a man from using it at all – just warned them.
Imagine if you were gatekeeping the women’s restroom, because your guy friend is in there using the bathroom…. like total chaos wouldn’t ensue? People are so damn hypocritical these days. It’s crazy. Does anybody ever take the time to put themselves in somebody else’s shoes anymore?
I was just having a conversation about this with my daughters today–about how in some emergent sorts of circumstances, I might check the mens’ bathroom to make sure that it was empty, send them in to use the bathroom, and stand guard outside. But, as I explained to them, where it gets sticky is if a man needs to use the restroom while they are in there. He has every right to do so. I would ask if he would be okay waiting just a minute, and, assuming he was willing to hear me out, explain that we were dealing with a bathroom emergency and couldn’t wait in the women’s line. I would hope he would be understanding and willing to let them finish, but he wouldn’t have to, and there are some people, who, I’m sure, would be mad that they were even being asked.
Altogether a potentially very awkward situation that I would much prefer to avoid. But I’m wondering if OP would have reacted differently if the friends had been polite from the get-go and asked if he wouldn’t mind giving their friend a minute instead of demanding.
ESH, being caught on your period and facing a massive queue is so horrible, at that point you worry you might start bleeding through your clothes. But her mates could have just explained the situation and asked you kindly to wait a moment, which you might have been inclined to to help a teenage girl in a crappy situation out.
ESH. Your misogyny is showing in this story with the way you talk about the “females” and your obvious disdain for them. You put hands on potentially underage people. Your whole attitude here is gross.
But they also don’t actually have the right to block the bathroom like this. If they were concerned about safety, it would have been reasonable for them to go in with their friend, but not to block access.