My wife [32F] and I [31M] are happily married since 2023. I’m a teacher, she works at a bakery.
Till now, I used to pick & drop her as our work timings were roughly the same. Recently, she got a shift in position, which requires her to be present their by 5:30 AM.
She doesn’t know how to drive as she’s paranoid about it. Bus service is not feasible. One co-worker is ready to pick & dropp her at a point around 0.6 miles away from our home.
Now, she wants me to drop her at that point every morning. While coming home, she’s ready to walk the 0.6 mile distance. But I’m refusing. It has become a topic of daily quarrels.
I sleep from 12:00 to 7:00 AM and can’t function without 7 hours of sleep. My working shift is from 8:30 AM to 5:00 PM. I also tutor a foreign student online from 9 to 10 PM.
Her argument is that she’s too tired to walk 0.6 miles both sides, while my logic is waking up and dropping her off at that time disturbs my regeneration time as a full-time worker.
Edit: A lot of you have advised me to get her a bike, well thanks for that. But that’s not an option as well. She finds it hard to balance a 2 wheeler. I know it sounds too much, but it is what it is.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
INFO: What are your wife’s hours? If she starts at 5am, when does she finish? How many days? You’ve said you work full time, but does she?
Also, what sort of area do you live in? Is it dangerous? Is it well lit?
Can’t she get a bike? NTA
NTA. Why is it okay for her to be too tired to walk half a mile but not for you to wake up, dress, get in the car and drive her? And it’s half a mile. It takes like 15 minutes to walk. It’s tough luck. Don’t be too hard on her, it’s probably extremely frustrating for her that her shifts have changed. Have a kind an open convo. But you are NTA.
ESH – she should be able to drive. She is an adult in an area where she needs to drive, so she needs to. But you are being very princess about your strict sleep schedule. It wouldn’t be a big deal to drop her off, especially so early in the morning. I’m not sure why you’re comfortable with her being alone at that hour but I guess that’s why you came to Reddit instead of just doing it.
She cites being too tired to walk that in the morning, rather than safety, so I’m gonna say NTA. To me, 0.6 miles is pretty trivial if it’s not unsafe, though a bike would be ideal. I’d be more sympathetic to a safety argument, but I’d still hesitate to say you changing your sleep habits should be the solution to this problem.
Yta. Definitely don’t have kids.
If she is afraid for her safety then she needs a ride. If she is just lazy, too bad for her. That would be a ridiculous demand. She needs the exercise.
What does this walk look like? Is it well lit? Are there other early commuters out? You might be TA if you expect your wife to walk over 1/2 mile in the dark every morning. However, you driving her is not the only option. How far is the actual commute? Uber, Taxi, Bicycle/moped are options right now. Have you offered to pay the coworker to come the extra bit to pick her up? In a car 0.6 miles would just be another few minutes. Regardless, she really needs to learn to drive whether she drives this daily commute or not. What if you get injured/sick and can’t drive?
Nta. .6 miles is an 8 minite walk. You deserve sleep.
TLDR. Just read the title and…..NTA (unless there is only one car you both desperately need this extra job to survive). Then, YTA
NTA, she would have hated the factory I worked at for my first job. It was a 1/4 mile walk from my car to the gate, and then even longer from the gate to my assigned post in the building.
Were you involved in the decision for the shift change? Is it more money? Personally I think yta. You can change your sleep time to 10:30-5:30. But if you told her before she changed shifts that you wouldn’t be able to drive her and she changed shifts anyway, then I guess she’s culpable too.
NTA. At her age she should be able to walk 1.2 miles per day. In a drive-everywhere culture physical fitness becomes poor. Too tired to walk a total of 30mins per day is worrying in itself. If she is still unwilling to work on this then maybe a collapsible scooter? I wouldn’t dream of waking my husband up at that time to drive me a grand total of 2-3 mins.
Can she get an electric scooter so she doesn’t have to expend as much energy to walk, but is able to get herself there without relying on you? Can you temporarily adjust your sleep schedule until she has one?
I want to say YTA only because you married her knowing she’d be 100% dependent on you for a ride (and you should be concerned about her safety). So it does fall on you to take care of her this way. Is this new position her dream or a step towards her dream/goals? If so, shouldn’t you be supporting her dream/goals?
Did you both talk about her accepting this position prior or was this sprung on you with the expectation that you would accommodate her with no consideration to your needs? If it’s this one, I completely understand why you’re upset, and in this case, she’d be the soft AH. Talk to her about considering your needs, too, and talking about things like this BEFORE making decisions as they affect you too. While you’re happy to sacrifice for her, it should be your choice to and not simply expected. That it makes you feel taken for granted and not cared for in the same way you do for her.
Either way, try to be solution oriented here. How can she get to work? Can she get an electric scooter??
These responses are wild. I would never let my wife walk by themselves that early in the morning while I slept cozy in bed. She’s going to work, not out with the girls. If it bothers you getting up that early then help her get over her fear of driving.
NTA. If it was a once-off I’d rule differently, but this isn’t a reasonable expectation for every working day of the foreseeable future.
INFO: Is the route itself unsafe? You say her coworker would pick her up around 0.6 miles from your home, how far is the rest of the commute?
Edit: NTA, 0.6 walk really isn’t that long and it’s safe. 3.4 mile bike trip is reasonable if walking is not an option
NTA A half mile is nothing. She’s being lazy.
Could the issue be that is she afraid to walk in the dark in the morning and doesnt want to say that? I mean it is a fucking scary world out there and a half of mile would be probably scare me. So I dont think either of you are the ah. I think you both lack communication and need to work together to find a solution that works for your family.
NTA. look up motorised scooters and get her one (second hand will be cheaper), alongside some kind of smart panic alarm/screamer device, and teach her how to program her phone to do an emergency phone call with the press of a single button. She’s a big girl now with a big girl job, she can get herself to the meeting point for pick up.
I worked in hospitality for decades and was often out of my house walking to the train at 5pm.
I don’t know where you’re living, but Is the area safe tfor a woman to go for a 20 minutes walk alone at 5AM?.
Assuming if she’s working in a bakery that she’s reasonably able bodied, that’s like a 15 minute walk at worst. I am marginally above average fitness and can knock that distance out in sub 10 mins. NTA, she needs to get a grip
NTA Your wife needs to take responsibility for her own transportation, whether that be walking or learning to drive. She cannot depend on others her entire life.
She should absolutely be doing the 10 minute walk to get there – when the weather’s bad it would be good for you to take her though!
NTA.
Also couldn’t the coworker drive the extra 0.6 miles? With a car that’s really not a big detour. Then your wife wouldn’t even need to wait at the pickup point in the dark.
I also don’t understand als the people talking about OP making no sacrifices. He should get up at 5 AM and work til 10 PM, while her shift is probably over shortly after noon? Wouldn’t make that her the bad guy?
NTA. She’s too paranoid to drive…what??? Did you know this when you married her?
ESH I need more info. I get not driving but how’s the conversation go around this? Is this refusal to try? Same with riding a bicycle?
Half mile why isn’t the coworker just picking her up?
Is going back to the old job with those hours an option?
NTA. It’s a 10 minute walk, she is being ridiculous. If she can’t walk it, she needs to learn to ride a bike or drive a car instead of acting like a helpless child
You should drive her to work.
She’s not a child. She needs to ride a bike or figure out driving. You can’t be her chauffeur her whole life.
I have to ask, when dating, were you concerned that she did not drive? I wouldn’t marry someone who didn’t want to drive, it’d put such a load on me, especially once children arrived.
NTA, but I have to assume this has to be something where there is a cultural difference as well, because where I live if a healthy adult would not walk 0.6 miles two times a day they would be looked at as if they are crazy, no one would even think to find a way to drive such a short distance.
And certainly no one would be expect to change another persons sleeping schedule over a 10 minute walk. Does she have health issues that would make this walk harder for her?
NTA. I don’t understand people who are afraid to drive. As a single person who has had to drive herself around most of her life it seems weird. And yes I have been in car accidents and still had to overcome my fear and get back in my car.
Those electric scooters seem like they are on every corner….
Get her an electric scooter.
INFO It’s half a mile each way? Does she have some serious physical impairment? That’s like a 10min walk. I’m nearly twice her age and do a 5mile round trip every day while working FT. If she does have physical issues, why did she accept the shift change without securing transportation first?
NTA.
Thats walking for 5, maybe 10 minutes. What the hell is her problem?
She cant walk 5 mins? Wtf?
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NTA 0.6 miles is absolutely nothing. 10 mins max.
ITT: people who don’t understand that folks need different amounts of sleep, really, seriously, and it’s not being a “princess” to need that amount of sleep to function. I personally, am wrecked if I don’t get 7 1/2 hours. OP it’s already making do with seven. I’m sorry, but the wife needs to solve her own problems, especially if the worst of her problems is a 10 minute walk.
NTA.
NTA, me and my partner have a very similar situation. He always works 8am-8pm. I work at a bakery and have to be there anywhere from 5:30am-6pm cause my schedule changes. When he’s able to take me cause it works with his schedule, cool, I take the ride. But, when I work early or later than he has to go in I take my electric scooter. I’m 23 and learned very quick that me not driving is not something that anyone else has to accommodate to. She’s very lucky she already has a coworker that’ll help her out to a walking distance. If she’s truly too tired to wanna walk, they have cheap fold up electric scooters she could look into. But I don’t think you’re the asshole, I think she needs to realize that her not driving is her responsibility to deal with.
Please, find a solution for this.
I have a friend who refuses to drive due to her anxiety. She walks everywhere. She lives in a sleepy little town. She pulls a wagon with her. Sometimes her kids are in the wagon, sometimes not. Her husband works, so he can’t drive her everywhere.
A few weeks ago, she was standing at a corner, waiting for traffic to go by before she crossed. A driver was distracted, and jumped the curb and hit my friend. She is messed up.
Had she been in a car, she would have protection.
Walking anywhere in the dark of the morning is dangerous.
Personally, I think your wife needs to push to go back to the shift that works for your home. This 5 am stuff is not working.
Or, maybe toss the co-worker a few bucks to drive the extra half mile.
NTA. Half mile walk is roughly 15 minutes. That would be like 4 minutes in a car. Come on she cannot think it’s reasonable for you to get up an hour and a half early to drive her 4 minutes.
She could also get a bicycle or an electric bike. I can ride 8 miles in 20 minutes.
Agreed that more information is needed. My instinctual reaction was immediately NTA (but tbf my husband doesn’t even come pick me up at the airport when I’m coming back from a trip because it’s more convenient/quicker if I take the train by myself, so I’m used to circumstances like mine and might be slightly biased).
If her only argument is that she’s tired then definitely NTA, but is there something else going on?
Is she scared to walk in the morning if it’s dark or always? Do you guys live in a safe area? Does she want this job?
I detest self-infantilisation so in my opinion she should definitely figure it out if it’s an issue of convenience and nothing else. Gift her a scooter if that’s a good compromise
You didn’t get married to be her driver.
NTA
It’s your wife. Go to bed earlier than midnight to get your sleep.
Do you want her wandering the streets around 5am.
Look after your wife.
That depends. Is your neighborhood a safe neighborhood to walk in such hours? Is “tired” the only reason? Just food for thought: you can do your daily evening routines in the hours before your online student and then drop to sleep right after your lesson. This way you get your hours of sleep and can drive your wife. Bonus: by going to sleep earlier and waking up earlier, you get some extra time in the morning, so you can maybe shift something you did in the evening to your morning hours
NTA
‘She doesn’t know how to drive as she’s paranoid about it.’
Does that mean you’re the driver till death, was that in the marriage vows ?
What’s next, paranoid to help around the house ?
Time for her to get that license, there’s no excuse
NTA
ESH
Maybe she’ll use her alimony to pay for driving lessons.
NTA. She’s not able/willing to drive, she’s not able/willing to bike, she’s not able/willing to walk. Wtf is she willing to do to compromise other than completely put the responsibility on you?
NTA – I googled that 0,6 mile is about 1 km. That’s like 15 minutes walk. Nothing terrible. You should not sacrifice your sleep because of her poor planning. 15 minutes is shorter than my walk to the train station when I’m going to work lol
NAH
Expecting you to go without a extra 10 hours of sleep a week is completely unreasonable, even if her shift change was forced on her. She either needs to accept that a 10 min walk each way for someone with no disabilities assuming that’s the case is fair, or get back on her old shift, or learn to drive herself with all of these options a more than reasonable rather than you having sacrifice sleep and your own wellbeing.
On the flip side you could go to bed earlier and match her sleep schedule, and for half the year it would be dark and do you want your wife walking alone in that situation ? Sounds like she can’t admit it’s the fear part of walking at that time of the morning, and you haven’t given that any thought, and she hasn’t communicated it either.
If you could go to bed earlier so you can get up earlier and just simply refusing to I would be going with YTA at that point, refusing to compromise is one of the reasons I’m going through a divorce myself.
Get her a bike with trainers or pedicab
NTA she is being held back her fear of driving and asking you to enable it. When her issues become your problems, you have a right to set a boundary and say no.
The amount of people in the comments telling OP he’s a monster for “making” his wife walk in the dark is nuts.
Bike
Scooter
Uber/Lyft
Taxi
There are plenty of options that OP’s wife could utilize to get herself .6 miles to the spot her coworker can pick her up. Expecting her husband to solve her problems for her and not find a solution on her own is entitled behavior.
It’s not unreasonable for OP to want a full night sleep. Even if OP started going to bed an hour earlier, that would still only give him 6 hours sleep. Some people can function on 6 hours, however many cannot. The wife needs to stop making her problems her husband problems. If she refuses any of a number of feasible solutions to this that don’t involve her husband “sucking it up” then she needs to find a new job.
NTA
NTA
She needs to accept one of these offered compromises and let you sleep
NTA. She needs to build resilience and independence. Stop helping her be helpless!! Kids walk to school further than 0.6 miles! She can do it.
NTA. Half a mile is no walk at all.
they have adult tricycle bikes she can use then if she can not balance on two wheels. or get a two wheel and put training wheels on it she will eventually be able to ride a two wheel then she can take the training wheels off. it is unreasonable to expect you to have broken sleep every day she works and still be able to function 100%
Why can’t this coworker drive the extra half mile to your house? Maybe she can pitch in for gas
NTA. You confirmed you don’t live in a dangerous area. .6 miles is not a long or unreasonable distance. If your wife is so opposed to a quick walk early in the morning, maybe she should look into other jobs and see if she can find something more in alignment with your schedule.
YTA because your wife is willing to walk while tired and you are willing to sleep. Go to sleep earlier.
NTA. Wifey needs to get a license. I can’t tell if her reasoning is just a flimsy excuse or if there is something deeper to it but either way this can be fixed with therapy, classes etc.
She can take the car in the morning to where she carpools and leave it there. When you go to work you walk or cycle the distance to where she left it and take it on your merry way, and she walks/cycles home at the end of the day. Easy, fair, safe.
The people coming back with the ‘marriage is a team’ comments are correct, but it should be a balanced partnership. Having only one person in the relationship do all the driving is not ideal, especially if you guys ever contemplate having children. Asking you to completely upend your sleep schedule when there is a much easier healthier option is odd. If the shoe on the other foot I would never ask my wife to do this.
They make bicycles for adults that are the equivalent of “training wheels” or a tricycle. Maybe that will work since “she finds it hard to balance a 2 wheeler”.
I think NTA but I also think you need to look into the bigger issue of your wife not wanting to do things that adults are typically expected to do.
NTA, especially if you didn’t have a say in her change of hours.
My ex wife refused to get a license because driving scared her. Made it nigh impossible for her to contribute.
NTA.
So, she’s too ‘tired’ to walk just over half a mile but she’s not too ‘tired’ to still work her shift and do her job when she gets there? You’ve replied to others stating it is a safe area for her to walk.
NTA. Your wife is being lazy.
It’s going to be dark – maybe she’s not comfortable waking by herself in the dark
YTA
Your wife and family should come first. Adjust your sleep schedule to take her to work.
NTA. She needs overcome her fear of driving or be prepared to walk. It’s not realistic to expect you to function on 5 hours of sleep
NTA
But serious question, why are people marrying folks without minimum adult functioning. If you live in an area where a car is required why would you marry someone who can’t drive?
YTA. This is exactly what my partner does, gets up early and gets to work early to drop me off at work so I don’t have to walk in the dark or arrive exhausted and sweaty to a job that is intense physical labor from 7a-1p, then I walk ten minutes home (or ask for a ride from a coworker if I’m too tired) and collapse for a few hours.
Really don’t understand people who get married and don’t care if their partner is comfortable or happy. You can take a nap between 5p and 9p, or reschedule or drop the online tutoring if it’s causing so much stress for the family.
The people suggesting a bike or a scooter are overlooking that if she’s paranoid about driving that’s not going to change in a smaller less safe vehicle. She is also doing hard physical labor and deserves a little extra support from you.
NTA. She can either walk or get a bike.
What about an e-scooter? It also has 2 wheels, though….
Get her a trike, then. You’re not wrong, she’s being unreasonable. Anyway, 1km is not that far to walk, how lazy is she? If she’s tired by walking 2km in a day, she must be incredibly out of shape.
INFO: what about tricycles?
Kind of seems like no other option will suit her wants. Is there more to this? Maybe she’s afraid of walking so early? Even if it’s a safe neighborhood, people do get hit while walking at pre-dawn hours.
Is a cab or Uber in the budget?
Am I the only one who wonders why the coworker can’t drive that .6 miles to go pick her up at the house. Like how much would that really change their commute? That is like 1 minute in a car.
Electric scooter
Info: When does your wife go to bed?
Your wife should not be walking at 5am.
She needs to learn how to drive or take an uber.
I used to be paranoid about driving. I went to driving school and cognitive behavioral therapy and made it to the other side.
NTA She needs to learn to drive or get her a scooter, rollerskates or wheelies.
0.6 mile? Can’t walk that? Why on earth not? I don’t understand her position at all.
I got to the “she doesn’t need to learn how to drive and she’s paranoid about it” part and stopped. She needs to learn how to drive. You’re not her chauffeur. Or, don’t take a job if you’ve no way of getting to and from work. Period.
t’s half a mile. She will soon find herself fit enough to walk that.
This is such a small thing it is her job to resolve it. The impact of walking half a mile for her Vs expecting you to get up to collect her is unreasonable.
She could work to overcome her dislike of driving.
NTA
YTA, why can’t you go to bed an hour earlier to make this work for your family?
I walk my dogs on longer walks than that every morning, then go to a VERY physical job, then come home and play with my child, then cook, then walk my dogs again. Tooo tired too walk .6 miles is a joke. If it was an unsafe area, maybe but .6 miles in one of the safest areas in the world is absurd.
NTA but borderline. That’s just about a 1/2 mile. She should be able to walk this.
On the other hand, you should be able to get her to the spot safely as her husband. Also, the work “friend” isn’t able to drive a 1/2 mile more? I agree with other responses here, you should try to make a financial arrangement with them.
YTA, Why are you going to bed at 12? Gamer? Plenty of time to drop your wife at work and not impact your day. Stop being a big baby.
ESH, her for taking change in shift/refusing to learn how to drive as an adult
You for not being willing to adjust your sleep/tutor schedule
wether or not the 0.6 mile journey is safe is not the issue. wether or not she needs exercise is not the issue. she needs to learn how to drive.
what if yall r out some place remote and u have an incapacitating accident? what if u go out of town? what if u divorce? being able to get urself from A to B in this world is requisite.
NTA. it’s 2025. she needs to put on her big girl panties and learn this life skill.
The walk will wake her up and she’ll feel better. She just doesn’t realize it yet.
I dropped my girlfriend off at work every day during the week for months because she didn’t have a car and was saving money for one. Not once did I think about laying in bed and making her walk, uber or take a bus.
I know this situation is slightly different but it would be better if OP spent time trying to help his wife get over her fear of driving and be supportive instead of laying in bed while she has to walk.
“Disturbs my regeneration time” idk if you’re from the US or some other country but that’s such a bizarre way of saying you’re. sleeping. Eventually those daily quarrels are going to escalate into bigger issues because you don’t want to get off your ass and help your wife either get to work or overcome her fear of driving.
NTA. She’s got barely a 10 min walk to make, should not be an issue for an able bodied adult.
Too tired to walk 0.6m? Really?
Somewhat similar situations, my wife doesn’t drive either.
She bikes a lot and the agreement is when the weather is bad I drive her to work.
I’m not waking my partner up that early to avoid a walk that short. If it were that much of an issue I’d be looking to change jobs.
YTA. Make her learn to drive. Buy her a beater. Or go to sleep earlier so you can get your 7 hours. She’s your wife!
Is the walk unsafe?
Get her a heavy duty flashlight she can use to light the way in the morning – can also be used as a weapon if need be.
Make a pact that she checks in with you when she gets to work, to make sure she got there safe. Maybe you can wake up for that.
I’m going to go against the trend and say YTA. Basically you are telling your wife to go walk half a mile each way even if it’s raining, snowing, freezing etc. My wife is not a driver and I’d never send her out like that. I’d find a way to adjust my schedule. Hope you never have kids because your gonna have to say goodbye your sleep schedule then.
INFO: what time would she have to leave? While I walk a mile and half every day for work. I would never consider making that walk any earlier than 6am. Its still dark even at that time of the morning during winter but its definitely not a safe area to walk any earlier.
Nta…she needs to conquer her irrational fear of driving. Asking you to change your entire sleep schedule is unreasonable especially since you tutor till 10pm and need to unwind afterwards making it difficult to go to bed before 12
NTA, she’s an adult, she should learn to drive.
Give your wife a ride. Women get kidnapped while walking by themselves.
NTA it’s half a mile. You can see that far lol. If she won’t bike, or bus, or walk, or drive, she can get a scooter, or tricycle, or roller skates, or a skateboard. What she can’t do is shoot down every single option other than the one that leaves her completely dependent, and you completely sleep deprived.
I respect her decision not to learn to drive, but she still has to be a fully functional grown adult, capable of getting herself to her own job. What would she do if you had a job that started at 4am? Or if you got sick or injured and couldn’t drive for a while? She’s not a child. She needs to be able to figure this kind of thing out for herself.
She can’t drive, she can’t walk, she can’t ride a bike, what can this lady do? NTA but you have more patience than me
NTA
People here are acting like 5am is just as dangerous as midnight. It isn’t.
If she’s too tired to walk, the she needs to get her fitness level up. By walking…
.6 miles is 12min on foot. That is absolutely not worth waking someone up over.
LOL @ the edit. Put training wheels on it and then see what her excuse is. NTA
Its only about a kilometre, tell her to get walking. NTA
Honestly when it’s nice out I’d expect her to walk. That said if it’s dark out or the weather is nasty I can’t see a point where I wouldn’t be stepping up to ensure my wife’s saftey and comfort. I’d also just consider going to bed once the tutoring was done instead of staying up till midnight.
NAH.
If money were no issue, a taxi service would be the best. Since that would eat too much money, I’d say invest in a folding tricycle, which will fix both the balance and mobility problems. It can even be electric if slopes are a problem and has the advantage of being able to carry a lot of gear too. It’ll fit in the boot of her friend’s car, and its unusual shape means that drivers will give her more space than they would a bicycle.
NTA. Walking half a mile is nothing, and she wants to ruin your sleep over that? On a daily basis? That’s seriously inconsiderate of her.
NTA. Get your sleep and do well at your job. If her coworker won’t help out – nice offer there – she should walk. 0.6 miles each way is nothing. She can take care of herself on this one.
>present their by 5:30 AM.
God I hope you aren’t an English teacher. Not supporting your SO’s work is asshole-ish, but complaining about walking a couple blocks is just lazy af. I beat stage iv lymphoma, at 41, while losing 110lbs and ALL MUSCLE MASS, and was walking 10+ miles per day just a few months after the fact. At this point in life laziness is an affront to my very existence. She needs to move more so she’ll be tired less often, that’s how the body works.
Is her concern really that she’s tired, or does she have safety concerns? .6 miles is not a lot at all, unless she has some kind of health condition/disability. But 5am is very early; it’s usually still dark then. Depending on where you live, there could be legitimate safety concerns.
How about an electric scooter?
She talks to her manager to get another shift in position that works. Also she learns to drive. Driving is a critical skill and this is likely to lead to problems later.
NTA – had to look up how much that is in km, about 1 km, that’s a 10-15 minutes’ walk. As a European I find it completely unnecessary to take the car for such a short distance for an able-bodied grown-up with no big luggage.
She might find it tiring only for the first weeks.
This isn’t about the car or the drive or the lack of sleep. It’s that your grown ass wife is unable to do basic shit to care for herself and it’s a massive burden to you. She needs to figure out how to ride a bike, and how to drive a car.
I love Contest Mode, this is fun
NTA. Buy her a three wheel moped: two front wheels. They’re common in Europe.
NTA. They make adult tricycles if she can’t balance on 2 wheels. It’s 5 standard blocks, she can get herself there & back.
NTA
not sustainable. She needs to learn to drive, or get another job.
NTA.
If she can’t get herself to this job, she needs to find a new one.
You being exhausted from lack of sleep is a huge risk on many levels. You might be too tired to drive safely. You could also lose your job if you start underperforming due to lack of sleep.
Paying the coworker to drive an extra half mile seems like the best solution.
If she can’t balance a 2 wheeler, get an adult tricycle. If she’s unwilling to drive, walk, learn to ride a bike, or ride a tricycle, then that is on her. Maybe she has to uber or something.
There’s only two choices here: you adjust your sleep schedule to get up at 5:00 or your wife gets her shit together and learns how to ride a bike or drive. Two skills, I might add, one learns when they’re a child and teenager.
Does her getting ready for work at that hour wake you up? Go to bed earlier. Really this seems like a computer generated post
Looking at all of these answers, it is no wonder why so many marriages end in divorce.
That’s a tough situation, but YNTAH because you need sleep.
Holy cow. NTA.
She chooses not to drive. Can’t/wont ride a bike.
Doesn’t want to walk 0.6 miles? Seems LazyAF.
She seems very self absorbed and a PITA. Sorry bout it.
I open a bakery at 330 am.i walk more than half a mile ,to get to work,and walk home after.Im 60 years old.
I just think, in this day in age, unless you live in an area that has quick access to public transportation, not knowing how to drive (or refusing to, in lieu of possible major trauma surrounding the idea of driving oneself, of course) is ridiculous. It is an essential function of being an adult. I live in a more rural area where few places of necessity are within walking distance, so simply not driving isn’t an option. I wouldn’t be able to hold a job, get groceries, anything. So I guess I don’t even understand your wife depending on you for all of these things, when you are already working very long days and have a lot going on. She should work on her fear of driving first and foremost, but for this particular situation, it’s not a far walk, and you’d think the least she could do, if this is the only way she can contribute to the household right now, she would want to do that without causing further inconvenience to you. I agree with others as well–it’s strange that this coworker can’t drive, basically, one more minute out of their way to pick up your wife. Nta.
It’s her choice not to drive, which is perfectly fine, but the natural consequence is her having to walk a very little amount in the morning. Such is life. She will survive
NTA. She can walk. Would probs take her 15 mins… Really not a big deal. She needs to grow tf up.
YTA. That’s your wife, get off your ass and help dude. The whole thing of you can’t function unless you get your 7 hours of beauty sleep, go to bed earlier then.
If you plan on having kids, I can guarantee your wife is paying close attention on how you treat this specific situation. If you can sacrifice or adjust your personal schedule by an hour, she’s sure as hell going to see you’re not going to be willing to do it for your future kids. This is an EASY fix and you won’t do it. When it comes to kids, all of it is difficult. If you won’t do the easy things, you’re going to fail doing the hard things.
Time to nut up buttercup.
Get her an e trike! Or just a trike. It has a basket for any additional things she may need. I didn’t know they existed until I started looking for a cargo e-bike 😂 super cool and you can get them pretty cheap in Amazon or Temu.
Can’t you go to bed early, like 22:30?