Normally for Christmas I’d spend Christmas eve, Christmas day and most of Boxing day with my mum and sister then go to my girlfriends mums on the evening of boxing day for the night to spend time with my gf and her mum.
This year my mum passed away and my sister will be spending Christmas in another city with her son. My girlfriend has invited me to her mums which I’ve accepted but I said I probably will need a few hours to myself so I’ll probably go home on the afternoon for a while then come back in the evening.
My gf asked why and I just said it’s going to be a hard day and I just need some time alone. She said I shouldn’t be spending most of the day on my own but I pointed out it won’t be most of the day. She said I should be spending it all at her mums but I just repeated again that I’d need some time for myself. I said it’s hardly a big deal and I’d still be at her mums for most of it.
She just said I should be with them and should plan some time alone another day but I refused.
AITAH for taking some time to myself on Christmas Day?
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Normally for Christmas I’d spend Christmas eve, Christmas day and most of Boxing day with my mum and sister then go to my girlfriends mums on the evening of boxing day for the night to spend time with my gf and her mum.
This year my mum passed away and my sister will be spending Christmas in another city with her son. My girlfriend has invited me to her mums which I’ve accepted but I said I probably will need a few hours to myself so I’ll probably go home on the afternoon for a while then come back in the evening.
My gf asked why and I just said it’s going to be a hard day and I just need some time alone. She said I shouldn’t be spending most of the day on my own but I pointed out it won’t be most of the day. She said I should be spending it all at her mums but I just repeated again that I’d need some time for myself. I said it’s hardly a big deal and I’d still be at her mums for most of it.
She just said I should be with them and should plan some time alone another day but I refused.
AITAH for taking some time to myself on Christmas Day?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Planned to take a few hours to myself on Christmas Day.
My partner said I should choose another day and that I shouldn’t be spending a lot of Christmas on my own instead of being with her and her mum.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NAH – Your GF is probably concerned about you, because of your recent loss, but everyone has their own ‘social battery level.’ You just need some time to recharge is all.
You’re not the arsehole here. Grief is personal and everyone processes it differently. Prioritizing your mental health, especially on a difficult day, is crucial. Communicate openly with your girlfriend about your needs; it’s not just about her feelings. Respect yourself first.
NTA in the slightest – you only lost your mum this year…
NTA. It’s your first Christmas without your mom, it’s most likely going to be tough. You aren’t going to know how you will feel that day and how it will hit you.
You’ll likely need time and space to grieve on that day and you are allowed to do that however is best for you.
Your gf probably just wants to help and make sure you aren’t lonely, but being alone may be what you need and want.
Your girlfriend is being incredibly selfish. If she genuinely cared she’d respect that you need time alone instead of telling you to make it another day. It’s not like you’re unwilling to spend any time with her. NTA
This same exact story was posted about 2 weeks ago! From what I remember, the mods deleted it. Please stop already! :p
Your girlfriend’s being unreasonable. You’re not skipping the day, you’re asking for a few hours. That’s not selfish, that’s normal grief