I live with my husband in an apartment in the city center. When we found it, we couldn’t believe it was available to rent, because both the space and the location in the city are wonderful. We moved in a year ago. The neighbor upstairs is a guy about our age (between 30 and 40) who is disabled and uses an electric wheelchair. He never appeared to be mentally challenged, as he works in IT for a well-known company.
This guy has caregivers hired to e. g. help him get dressed, go to bed, and stay with him overnight. The problem is that almost every night (we’re talking at least five days a week) they make a lot of noise, talking loudly, laughing, and getting the room ready for bed, which includes (I don’t know why) dragging furniture around repeatedly or dropping things on the floor. I have never had problems with noise from neighbors in previous homes, and I am also aware of what it takes to care for a person with special needs due to my family situation, so from the beginning, that made me sympathize with him. That’s why I was understanding at first, but we’re talking about noises that start between 11:30 p.m. and midnight and can go on until 2 a.m. My job requires me to get up very early and be focused. One night, when I had a particularly difficult day ahead of me, I went up to try to talk to him, but they wouldn’t open the door for me. So I went up the next day. I asked him to lower the noises, and explained I’m acquainted with special needs, but just precisely it perhaps would be a good idea to keep it down from around 22:30 and arrange the room before. He told me he would keep that in mind, that there have been neighbors being aggressive against him but he has to live, too, and has right to have his fun. I told him I understood and wished him to have his fun just considering there were neighbors around. It seemed to work for around two weeks. But not anymore. I’ve even hit the ceiling two times due to the loud laughter and they stopped… just to start again the next night.
I’m desperate but I also get he’s deprived of so many fun things, that I could be more sympathetic. On the other hand, there’s the chance to report him to the real estate agency so that they give him formal notice that he will have to leave if they receive any more complaints, with a subsequent reduction in my rent. But, honestly, I don’t care about the money, I just want to be able to sleep before 2 a.m. on a regular basis.
I wonder if I WBTA if I reported him finally.
EDIT: I live in a country where noise is taken seriously, to the extent of making this kind of loud noise from 10 pm until 6 am is forbidden, one can even call the police on it or file a report to the real state agency.
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I live with my husband in an apartment in the city center. When we found it, we couldn’t believe it was available to rent, because both the space and the location in the city are wonderful. We moved in a year ago. The neighbor upstairs is a guy about our age (between 30 and 40) who is disabled and uses an electric wheelchair. He never appeared to be mentally challenged, as he works in IT for a well-known company.
This guy has caregivers hired to e. g. help him get dressed, go to bed, and stay with him overnight. The problem is that almost every night (we’re talking at least five days a week) they make a lot of noise, talking loudly, laughing, and getting the room ready for bed, which includes (I don’t know why) dragging furniture around repeatedly or dropping things on the floor. I have never had problems with noise from neighbors in previous homes, and I am also aware of what it takes to care for a person with special needs due to my family situation, so from the beginning, that made me sympathize with him. That’s why I was understanding at first, but we’re talking about noises that start between 11:30 p.m. and midnight and can go on until 2 a.m. My job requires me to get up very early and be focused. One night, when I had a particularly difficult day ahead of me, I went up to try to talk to him, but they wouldn’t open the door for me. So I went up the next day. I asked him to lower the noises, and explained I’m acquainted with special needs, but just precisely it perhaps would be a good idea to keep it down from around 22:30 and arrange the room before. He told me he would keep that in mind, that there have been neighbors being aggressive against him but he has to live, too, and has right to have his fun. I told him I understood and wished him to have his fun just considering there were neighbors around. It seemed to work for around two weeks. But not anymore. I’ve even hit the ceiling two times due to the loud laughter and they stopped… just to start again the next night.
I’m desperate but I also get he’s deprived of so many fun things, that I could be more sympathetic. On the other hand, there’s the chance to report him to the real estate agency so that they give him formal notice that he will have to leave if they receive any more complaints, with a subsequent reduction in my rent. But, honestly, I don’t care about the money, I just want to be able to sleep before 2 a.m. on a regular basis.
I wonder if I WBTA if I reported him finally.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I don’t know if I would be the asshole if I reported my neighbor for making loud noises during night. I could be the asshole because he’s disabled, thus deprived of so many things, that I could be more understanding.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. The guy knows what he’s doing and using his disability as an excuse for repeated inconsiderate behavior.
Info:
I dont understand, report him for what? Is he violating his lease?
NTA. But give him a heads up. Just tell him you appreciate him asking them to keep it down, and it was great for that 2 weeks, but it really affects your sleep. Ask him what is the best way for you to communicate with him and his team when they are are too noisy after 11pm.
Put the monkey on his back. Let him tell you.
If it still continues, report it as noise.
NTA
Surely there are rules in the apartment regarding quiet times. The fact that he is disabled does not negate them. In reality, his being disabled is a bit of a red herring. As you clearly pointed out, the room arrangement could be handled much earlier in the evening.
NTA…He’s admitting that he’s simply “having his fun.” He knows that this is when his neighbours are tryin to sleep. You’ve tried being nice, you’ve tried being understanding; now it’s time to go up a level.
INFO: what would you be reporting him for? Is he breaking any noise-related terms in your lease or per your local ordinances?
Tough one. Not sure I 100 % understand what’s going on here. Is he getting ready for bed or is he “having his fun,” and if the latter what does that entail exactly? If he’s “having fun” his disability is irrelevant and he’s being inconsiderate just like anyone else goofing off after midnight, and you should report him. Whereas if he’s just getting ready for bed and that happens to be louder because he uses a wheelchair, there’s probably not much you can do.
NTA. In fact, I think OP is very diplomatic and considerate. However, maybe try one more time with the tenant, asking him to keep noise down, referencing previous discussion and reinforcing the fact that while he has a right to his fun, he does not have a right to infringe on others’ quality of life or to break tenancy rules.
Just wondering, has OP talked to the other tenants in the building and gotten a reason why previous tenant(s) moved out?
Report him for what? You should get a white noise machine. It will be the best sleep of your life and you won’t hear what is going on above you. I think that is just the downfall of living in an apartment. You could get a new neighbor that does the same things or worse.
YWBTA
It sucks that you can hear everything, but I would bet part of the reason rent was so cheap was the paper thin walls.
Reported him to what, the fun police?
Do yourself a favor and get a comfortable set of earplugs, and start looking for a new place to live. Apartment life sucks.
YTA. Being the downstairs neighbor sucks. It has nothing to do with your neighbor’s disability. And it’s called a disability, not “special needs.” That’s an outdated term and it’s also not accurate for a physical disability.
Prefacing your reasonable request for quiet hours with an awkward declaration of your allyship was inappropriate. You really got off on the wrong foot there. If you really want to be an ally to disabled people, think about how you would talk to any other person about this noise issue.
NTA. Sensitivity to the needs of others is a two-way street. Most apartment buildings and an increasing number of condos have regulations that limit hours during which loud and “excessive” noise should be limited if not eliminated. If your neighbor is running afoul of those limits, that’s on them – regardless their disability.
NTA. Being disabled doesn’t give him the right to be a trash neighbor. Why can’t he “have fun” during more normal hours? This is harassment, and for your sanity, you need to warn him in writing (send a letter, keep a copy) that if he doesn’t stop you will contact the landlord. Most places in the US have what’s called a Warrant of Habitability, which states that tenants have the right to quiet enjoyment of their space, usually between 10PM and 7AM. Keep a written record of what time he starts up and when he stops. Use your phone to tape his shenanigans over the course of several nights so you have audio proof that this is a regular occurrence. And if the guy does wind up getting evicted, he has nobody to blame but his entitled self. Good luck.
Imo if he needs 24/7 care maybe he should be in a facility where thats made easier. Having him in a home where he cannot even open a door sounds like its really severe. Not to mention why is a wheelchair bound person not on ground level? Which would also make any ambulance trip even more difficult.
Idk whats going on but gl, sounds like dude has his friends over claiming they are care givers. Most of the CG’s I’ve met dont talk much and do their job without involving their neighbors.
Maybe thats where you should look. See which company is employing the CGs and make sure theyre doing the jobs right. I bet its be really easy to apply or email and get a list of how they operate
Guarantee since theyre dealing with mobility issues they have to follow ALL state guidelines.
At the very least, have the dudes bed ready early in the morning in case he needs to lie down. Waiting until after midnight to address his sleeping situation is what drunk people do. Not a professional in a CG setting.
Are you mad your neighbour has company he laughs with before bed?
If this is simply him “having his fun”, as he stated, then it has nothing to do with his disability. He can have fun at more reasonable hours, like the rest of us.
That’s thing you can do? Report neighbors to the agency and get them removed? I would think they’d tell you to take a hike…
NTA. What are the rules around quiet times in your building? If he’s breaking those, report him to management.
NTA. His disability plays no part in this and there’s no reasonable bed-time activity that requires that much noise at that hour.
Also, he sounds like a bit of an AH with the “having his fun” part. What does that even mean?