Hi there! I have been a longtime lurker/listener but have never posted. I just want some clarity on this situation. Here’s the story:
My mom has 3 cats. The oldest, Z, the middle, M, and the newest addition, B. M is your typical skittish cat. She doesn’t like new people, spends most of her time atop the cat tree just observing everyone, and doesn’t get along with new cats. When my mom got B she never properly introduced them and M did not adjust well, but she tolerated him.
However, recently M and B got into a scuffle and M is now too scared to come down from the top of the kitchen cabinets. Not even to use the litter box. It’s really just a shitty situation that could have been avoided if my mom had properly introduced the kitties.
Here is where I come in. My partner and I live about 3 hours away and regularly foster cats from the nearby shelter. We fell in love with one recently and ended up adopting her. Let’s call her G. My mom reached out to me to see if I could take M because Z and B are best buddies and she doesn’t want to break them up. I told her no because we have G and I don’t want to deal with behavioral issues M might cause if we take her. We also live in an apartment and I don’t want to risk losing our security deposit.
My mom told me that I should take M because she was in the family before G, but I really don’t want to. I also don’t want M to just end up at a shelter because I’m certain she would be euthanized due to her skittish personality. I just don’t know what to do.
So, AITA here?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
Hi there! I have been a longtime lurker/listener but have never posted. I just want some clarity on this situation. Here’s the story:
My mom has 3 cats. The oldest, Z, the middle, M, and the newest addition, B. M is your typical skittish cat. She doesn’t like new people, spends most of her time atop the cat tree just observing everyone, and doesn’t get along with new cats. When my mom got B she never properly introduced them and M did not adjust well, but she tolerated him.
However, recently M and B got into a scuffle and M is now too scared to come down from the top of the kitchen cabinets. Not even to use the litter box. It’s really just a shitty situation that could have been avoided if my mom had properly introduced the kitties.
Here is where I come in. My partner and I live about 3 hours away and regularly foster cats from the nearby shelter. We fell in love with one recently and ended up adopting her. Let’s call her G. My mom reached out to me to see if I could take M because Z and B are best buddies and she doesn’t want to break them up. I told her no because we have G and I don’t want to deal with behavioral issues M might cause if we take her. We also live in an apartment and I don’t want to risk losing our security deposit.
My mom told me that I should take M because she was in the family before G, but I really don’t want to. I also don’t want M to just end up at a shelter because I’m certain she would be euthanized due to her skittish personality. I just don’t know what to do.
So, AITA here?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I love cats, but kinda don’t get people’s refusal to take a cat to a shelter where it might get euthanized. It’s a cat! Is it a mean cat? If so…… sorry but what’s the big deal. (I am still mad that someone got rid of a mean cat by giving it to my 80 year old mother. I had to deal with it.) So…… either take it to a shelter, or let this mean skittish cat wreck your life for 18 years.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I’m the asshole for not taking the cat. This would make me an asshole because she needs a home
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
M was in the family before B.. sooo… considering your mom’s logic when it comes to G.. She returns B, who will be very adoptable in comparison to M, and try to help M re-adjust. M came first, she said it herself, so SHE owes it to M to try to help them.
NTA. This is your mother’s problem. You shouldn’t be responsible for solving it.
NTA
Your mom caused this cat conundrum by adopting more cats than she was prepared to socialize and then throwing her hands up and wanting to dump the “problem child” on you.
I would flat out refuse. She needs to solve the problem she created. The two oldest cats, Z and M, she has had for the longest. Those are the two she should keep. B is the newest addition and also seems well socialized. B would probably be more likely to be adoptable if she returned him to a shelter, or she could look for a friend who doesn’t have cats currently who might like to take him.
Your house is not a good option because you already have a cat and you both have seen what happens when you start adding cats into the mix who may not get on well together.