I (29F) work as an accountant and have two four-year degrees, both of which I paid for myself with a combination of loans, scholarships, Pell Grants, and cash from working three jobs. In addition, I donated plasma, participated in research studies for cash, and sometimes ate out of the trash from one of my jobs just to get by.
One of my coworkers (35F) works in marketing. Her husband (38M) works in a machine shop. She went to school for her degree in her late twenties, and we’ve talked a lot about our different backgrounds.
Recently, we were talking about welders since our company is currently in the process of hiring a few. I mentioned that I originally wanted to go to trade school to be a welder after high school, but my parents insisted I go the “traditional” four-year college route.
She asked me to clarify, and I explained that my first degree turned out to be a dead-end, and I ended up with a job I loved that couldn’t pay my bills. I later went back for accounting, which pays the bills but isn’t something I enjoy. Honestly, I feel like I would’ve been further ahead in life if I had pursued a blue collar job instead of listening to my parents and spending years on a degree I couldn’t use.
What I said offended her, and she told me never to say that to someone who actually works in the trades. She also said that the term “blue collar” is offensive.
I was kind of taken aback, because in my family (mostly teachers and lineworkers, although my dad is a pharmacist), “blue collar” was just the standard term we used for someone in the trades. I never meant it as an insult, and I don’t think the trades are beneath me or easier than what I do. I just meant that if I had gone to trade school from the beginning, I would’ve potentially had years under my belt at a lucrative job without seven years worth of traditional loans and financial stress.
What I said clearly upset upset her, so I’m wondering if I came across as condescending or elitist without realizing it. We also work in an industry that is notoriously dismissive of people who work in the trades, so maybe she thought I was speaking from that perspective.
AITA?
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I (29F) work as an accountant and have two four-year degrees, both of which I paid for myself with a combination of loans, scholarships, Pell Grants, and cash from working three jobs. In addition, I donated plasma, participated in research studies for cash, and sometimes ate out of the trash from one of my jobs just to get by.
One of my coworkers (35F) works in marketing. Her husband (38M) works in a machine shop. She went to school for her degree in her late twenties, and we’ve talked a lot about our different backgrounds.
Recently, we were talking about welders since our company is currently in the process of hiring a few. I mentioned that I originally wanted to go to trade school to be a welder after high school, but my parents insisted I go the “traditional” four-year college route.
She asked me to clarify, and I explained that my first degree turned out to be a dead-end, and I ended up with a job I loved that couldn’t pay my bills. I later went back for accounting, which pays the bills but isn’t something I enjoy. Honestly, I feel like I would’ve been further ahead in life if I had pursued a blue collar job instead of listening to my parents and spending years on a degree I couldn’t use.
What I said offended her, and she told me never to say that to someone who actually works in the trades. She also said that the term “blue collar” is offensive.
I was kind of taken aback, because in my family (mostly teachers and lineworkers, although my dad is a pharmacist), “blue collar” was just the standard term we used for someone in the trades. I never meant it as an insult, and I don’t think the trades are beneath me or easier than what I do. I just meant that if I had gone to trade school from the beginning, I would’ve potentially had years under my belt at a lucrative job without seven years worth of traditional loans and financial stress.
What I said clearly upset upset her, so I’m wondering if I came across as condescending or elitist without realizing it. We also work in an industry that is notoriously dismissive of people who work in the trades, so maybe she thought I was speaking from that perspective.
AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I said that I would be better off if I pursued a job in the trades rather than waste time on two four-year degrees – one that doesn’t pay the bills and one in a field I hate.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Your friend must be the only person in the world who thinks blue collar is offensive. What about white collar? It sounds like your work friend is one of those people who gets up every morning looking for something to be offended by.
NTA
Blue collar is not an insult. Whether you’re right that you would have been better off in a blue collar job is debatable, but also beside the point. NTA
Blue collar guys say the same exact thing all the time when they talk about college and white collar jobs, your coworker sounds nuts
NTA. Blue collar is not an offensive term.
NTA it feels like your coworker is ashamed of her husband’s job and is, taking it out on you.
NTA. Blue collar is a commonly used term.
You will eventually outpace the $$$ with your accounting degree soon enough. However, you can go back to school now – it isn’t too late for you. You could become a welder and perhaps eventually start your own welding business allowing you to put the business degree to work for you.
Calling me blue collar or a manual laborer doesn’t offend me. I am a blue collar manual laborer. And alot of blue collar workers don’t think much of office workers either.
Yay for all of us peoples looking down on all the others of us peoples!
NTA
NTA.
Sounds more like she’s insecure or ashamed her husband works a blue collar job..
My guy is a a union sheet metal worker and certainly doesn’t find the term blue collar offensive. They refer to themselves as tinners and the electricians are sparkies. I doubt her partner is offended by it either. Could be, she is embarrassed by his profession and is the one who feels it is offensive. I’m a desk jockey myself and my guy tells me I have a cushy job.
NTA. I am the proud daughter, sister, cousin, and niece of mechanics, electricians, iron workers, factory workers, etc. etc. They all wear their blue collars with pride. It is not an offensive term. And I don’t see how you saying you wished you’d gone into a trade instead of accounting could possibly be construed as offensive or condescending. (By the way, you’re only 29, it’s not too late to change course one more time if pursuing a trade would give you a more satisfying life.)
honestly this feels like a miscommunication, not you being TA. you were comparing your choices, not knocking hers. if you wanna smooth it over, just tell her you weren’t trying to dismiss the work, you were just wishing you’d gone that route yourself.
Blue collar is a compliment where I come from.