Previous post : https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/X55UiPKs51
Here’s a final update (at least for now).
After our call, she kept messaging me. I tried being civil and suggested that she and her husband seek mental health counseling. Instead, she snapped. She threatened me with false accusations, saying she’d make up a story and tell my family. She called me immature for even suggesting they both needed help, told me I need to “grow up,” and just kept escalating.
I do admit I have room to grow, but I don’t think trying to suggest therapy makes me a bad person. I have screenshots of everything, but where I live the law often treats you as guilty until proven innocent. That honestly scared me. I don’t want to risk my relationship with my fiancée or get into legal trouble over someone who ghosted me years ago.
The bigger issue that’s eating at me is the kids. Before the call, she told me about how frustrated she was and that both she and her husband hit their kids. I also know her family well, and I’ve heard about the physical abuse twice from other people. That’s the only reason I stayed on the call longer than I should have — I grew up in a complicated household myself, and I can’t just ignore it when kids are involved.
I’ve been torn about calling child protective services. On one hand, I don’t want to get dragged into a mess, but on the other, I can’t shake the thought of her kids suffering. My fiancée told me to leave it alone because her family is around and it’s not my responsibility. I agree with her, but it still weighs heavy on me.
So for now, I’ve blocked my ex and stepped away completely. It might be a while before I post another update, if ever.
Comments
She’s manipulative, unstable, and dangerous. Protect yourself, protect your fiancé, and if you’re worried about the kids, report it. That’s the only part of this that’s still your business.
Bro was on the phone for 3 hours with a bitter ex who was trying to win him back….. getting married soon though.
YTA I wonder what your fiance would think about you being on the phone for 3 hours with your ex hopefully you break up with her so she could find someone better
Not your circus, not your monkeys bro
Why are you even thinking about her? You are getting married shortly, and the original story and update make me think you are not ready to tie the knot. Stop thinking about the ex – she seems unhinged and dangerous.
YWBTA if you didn’t call cps on then. Both her and hubby hit the kids… if you not wanting to be dragged into the mess of a physical abuse case more important then asking cps to do a wellness visit?
Please tell me you’ve been keeping your fiancée informed about what’s going on.
Not your business.Keep out of it and block her.
Every beaten child wishes someone was there to call for help for them. Do the right thing. Also, 3 hrs??
She’s threatening to lie about you to get you in trouble. That could hurt you badly. You should get ahead of her and let her parents and your family know what she threatened to do. Also try going to the police. They won’t do anything, but maybe they will at least allow you to report the threat so it’s documented.
Don’t talk to her again. She’s getting her Karma. Don’t mess with Karma.
Tell your family and fiancé everything now and show the proof.
Not sure how the police are where you live but can you show the text and have a report to help incase she does try to file a false report?
Do you have proof of abuse and if you show that will the police do anything? If they will then I would show that also.
Ironic how you claim you just can’t ignore it when kids are involved, then proceed to agree you should leave it alone because it’s not your responsibility. Her family being around means nothing because they’ve obviously made it clear that they don’t care to step in and protect the children. Her kids ARE suffering, they’re being physically abused in an environment where everyone is complicit. It’s disgusting that you, your fiancée, and whoever else knows this is happening can go live your lives when a simple phone call can potentially stop it.
NTA yes you must call CPS.
she should’ve been blocked a long time ago, there’s no need for you to remain talking with her, and being on the phone with her for what?? You already know the type of person she is/was so YTA for that reason.