AITA My boyfriend 18 M and I 19 F were having a conversation and I brought up the fact that the guys he hangs out with make me feel like they do not respect our relationship because they will send him pictures or videos (reels) of other women. I stated that if guys do not respect a stranger and are okay with sending him videos or pictures of other women. Do they respect us and our relationship or other women, if they expect you to be okay with seeing those things. Especially since they go out of their way to look at those things and send them to you. He brought up the fact that women put themselves on the internet to be paid so guys look at them for them to get paid. I said yes some women do that for income but it’s disrespectful of your friends to show you that while you are in a relationship. I brought up the fact that it’s okay to find women or people attractive but not to go out of your way to look at other women in a sexual way. I’m not mad at my boyfriend but I’m angry that his friends do not see an issue with sending him pictures or videos of other women.
AITA for explaining that what his friends do piss me off, since it feels like they don’t value the fact that my boyfriend is in a committed relationship?
PSA my boyfriend respects me and our relationship.
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AITA My boyfriend 18 M and I 19 F were having a conversation and I brought up the fact that the guys he hangs out with make me feel like they do not respect our relationship because they will send him pictures or videos (reels) of other women. I stated that if guys do not respect a stranger and are okay with sending him videos or pictures of other women. Do they respect us and our relationship or other women, if they expect you to be okay with seeing those things. Especially since they go out of their way to look at those things and send them to you. He brought up the fact that women put themselves on the internet to be paid so guys look at them for them to get paid. I said yes some women do that for income but it’s disrespectful of your friends to show you that while you are in a relationship. I brought up the fact that it’s okay to find women or people attractive but not to go out of your way to look at other women in a sexual way. I’m not mad at my boyfriend but I’m angry that his friends do not see an issue with sending him pictures or videos of other women.
AITA for explaining that what his friends do piss me off, since it feels like they don’t value the fact that my boyfriend is in a committed relationship?
PSA my boyfriend respects me and our relationship.
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> I came off as angry and rude and would not hear his side of the conversation he cut me off so he could speak
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
AITA if i bring up women Degarding men?
ESH. Not just the little boys which includes the BF .
“my boyfriend respects me and our relationship” YTA for believing that. He could put a stop to it if he WANTED to.
YTA for blaming other people for something your boyfriend is responsible for.
He could make them stop sending the content if he wanted to. They may not even know it’s an issue.
Yta – this has nothing to do with you or your relationship.
This content is shared with your boyfriend because he welcomes and reacts positively to it. If you take issue with what’s being shared amongst his male friends, you need to address this with your boyfriend. Your anger towards his friends are misplaced imo. You have a certain set of values and beliefs where you believe sharing this type of content to people in relationships is disrespectful, but your boyfriend’s friends do not share these views as you do.
ESH. Explain to your boyfriend that it bothers you and you want him to tell them to stop. Explain to him how it makes you feel and that its important to you. Its up to him to set a boundary with his friends, not you.
If he declines, you now understand where he stands. Do with that information what you will.
No judgement, but you have a boyfriend problem, not a friend problem. He’s arguing with you about this because he LIKES getting the photos/videos. He’s not going to push back. He wants to keep receiving them.
I don’t think it’s disrespecting you to assume their friend is ok with seeing such content. You not being ok with him seeing such content is between you and him, not you and them. If he doesn’t want to see such content, that’s between him and them though it doesn’t seem he’s really been expressing as much if this is a regular thing. Also his response to you was that he really has no issue seeing such content, so it seems his friends’ assumption that he is ok with seeing such content would be correct?
Not sure what your “it’s disregarding women to look at them online in a sexual way” thing is about.
YTA. You weren’t letting him speak. Beyond that, you have an issue with him viewing these things. He clearly does not. You are mad at his friends for sending him things he clearly has no issue with receiving. So you have to decide, do you learn to let this go or not. Because if he had an issue with this he’d tell his friends to knock it off. It is not his friends’ responsibility to accommodate your preferences, particularly when your boyfriend knows your feelings on this and isn’t telling them to stop. Not everyone has the same rules (for lack of a better term) in their relationships. The world isn’t always going to respect your relationship. You have to discuss together what is ok and what isn’t then work together to respect that. The rest of the world isn’t required to fall into line so he doesn’t have to.
NTA. (I can’t believe I’m the first person to make this judgement!). I think you’re right that it’s not respectful of your relationship, and that you need to ask your bf to ask his friends to stop.
Your bf does not respect your relationship if he continues to receive them without asking his friends to discontinue. And if they won’t discontinue, then he needs to end some friendships. And if he doesn’t, I think your relationship is toast.
It sounds like, and what I am assuming is that, these are things of at least a vaguely sexual nature. If they are non-sexual images of beautiful women that his friends are personally into, then that’s a different story.
Edit: changed “be” to “believe” and “you” to “he”
NTA but he isn’t the bf for you. Just look at the company he keeps, that should be a good sign of his character
Have your friends start sending you similar pics/videos of guys and see what BF’s reaction is. I have a feeling a major double standard will appear.