I (18F) live in a rent-by-bedroom apartment with two other people (33F and 23F) who both moved in at the end of August. I’ve been here since late June, and my previous roommates who had lived here for a year took all the decoration and extra furniture with them when they moved out. Personally, I do not care about decoration at all. My friends make fun of me and say every room I’ve lived in looks like a concrete box or jail cell, but I hardly spend time in my room and find no joy in decoration.
Recently, my roommates brought up buying decorations together because to be fair, the common area is completely empty except basic kitchen stuff and one couch. I don’t mind and told them as long as they followed the lease’s rules on alteration, I don’t care what they do to the common area.
They insisted that we should all go get decorations together and because I also used the common area, I should chip in. This I still refused because I genuinely have no use for any sprucing up. I also said that I didn’t want to spend extra money on decorating. Working 20 hours a week, I can pay off my own rent and utilities and have some fun money left over. My parents are gracious enough to pay for my tuition left after scholarships, food, and any other expenses. Somehow they came to the conclusion that because I recently bought a bunch clothes from the mall and because my parents still support me, I should have plenty of money to spend. For context, they are both independent adults and pay for everything themselves.
Well, I told them no again and that they can do whatever they want, but I’m not going to contribute. It’s been a week or two and I don’t see any decor in the living room, but the other day, one of my roommates (33F) invited some guy over. He made a comment about how sparse the living room was and my roommate said it was because specifically I didn’t want to decorate. She said it jokingly but it honestly read as passive aggressive considering the context.
I’m not going to be convinced, but am I the asshole for not contributing to a shared space? My best friend did say my room and the general apartment was pretty sad-looking, but I’d boot up the Sims if I wanted to decorate.
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I (18F) live in a rent-by-bedroom apartment with two other people (33F and 23F) who both moved in at the end of August. I’ve been here since late June, and my previous roommates who had lived here for a year took all the decoration and extra furniture with them when they moved out. Personally, I do not care about decoration at all. My friends make fun of me and say every room I’ve lived in looks like a concrete box or jail cell, but I hardly spend time in my room and find no joy in decoration.
Recently, my roommates brought up buying decorations together because to be fair, the common area is completely empty except basic kitchen stuff and one couch. I don’t mind and told them as long as they followed the lease’s rules on alteration, I don’t care what they do to the common area.
They insisted that we should all go get decorations together and because I also used the common area, I should chip in. This I still refused because I genuinely have no use for any sprucing up. I also said that I didn’t want to spend extra money on decorating. Working 20 hours a week, I can pay off my own rent and utilities and have some fun money left over. My parents are gracious enough to pay for my tuition left after scholarships, food, and any other expenses. Somehow they came to the conclusion that because I recently bought a bunch clothes from the mall and because my parents still support me, I should have plenty of money to spend. For context, they are both independent adults and pay for everything themselves.
Well, I told them no again and that they can do whatever they want, but I’m not going to contribute. It’s been a week or two and I don’t see any decor in the living room, but the other day, one of my roommates (33F) invited some guy over. He made a comment about how sparse the living room was and my roommate said it was because specifically I didn’t want to decorate. She said it jokingly but it honestly read as passive aggressive considering the context.
I’m not going to be convinced, but am I the asshole for not contributing to a shared space? My best friend did say my room and the general apartment was pretty sad-looking, but I’d boot up the Sims if I wanted to decorate.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I refused to contribute to decorating a shared space that I share with my roommates. They want me to help them buy decor, but I just don’t want to.
2) My roommates and I all live in this apartment, and everybody uses the common area. They say it’s unfair that I don’t contribute to making a place I also live in look better.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA What happens when one of move out? Argue how much of 1/3 of the depreciated value of a throw pillow you are owed?
NTA you don’t have to contribute if you don’t want to, and your roommate was wrong for blaming you as you already have her permission to decorate by herself.
That being said, you may not appreciate it now but decorations are what makes a house a home. You may find that there is truth to what your roommate’s are saying as you grow used to your independence.
NTA
They want you to pay for something for them and are sore because you won’t!
When they are being passive aggressive call it out. And point out their failing logic.
E.g. ‘I’m not stopping you.’
I hope you don’t get overpowered by your house mates. They are both older than you.
NTA. You’re perfectly happy with the way it’s currently decorated. It was sufficiently generous of you to not object to their adding things to the common space. You are definitely not obliged to pay for something unnecessary that you don’t care about.
If you want to play along, suggest they go for something cheap enough to where splitting the cost would be petty. Maybe they could paint a mural on the wall.
NTA. I love decorating. I have lived with roommates who also cared immensely, and those who didn’t. I have split the expenses of common spaces down the middle, paid for most everything myself, and lived in a space where my roommates paid for most all of the common decor/furniture. There is no right or wrong way to handle this, exactly. If it’s not important to you, then your roommates can cough up the cash and they will own the things they buy. They are old enough to understand this. Asking you about it is one thing. Walking back their plans after you decline to chip in and pinning their decision on you is very weird.
NTA. Decorating the common space is not your idea, and if left to your own devices, you wouldn’t decorate at all. So why should you suddenly have to pay to decorate? Because your roommates want to?
They say you should pay because you use the common areas. But here’s the thing – you’re not going to derive any benefit, satisfaction, or joy from decorating, so why should you pay for it? If it were something you all were going to use and benefit from, like a TV in the living room, that would be different.
NTA. What’s gonna happen when somebody moves out? If they want them, they can buy and keep them.
NTA. Kinda pathetic of them considering the age gap
NTA. I’m sure when they move out they’d try to take the decorations with them too even if you’d agreed to split the cost.