Lets say your SO vacuums the house, cooks dinner, washes the dishes, etc. Would you say “thank you”? Why or why not?
What do you think about saying “thank you” for the little things/chores you do for each other when you are in a relationship?
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I say thank you because I appreciate him taking care of that task and I don’t want him to feel like I take him for granted. They say loosing gratitude in a relationship can lead to other issues and if saying thank you for small things can possibly prevent that, I’ll say thank you, even for the small things. My husband also thanks me when I do things.
My house is one of please and thank yous. Whoever makes dinner gets a thank you from everyone. Whoever helps clean up a mess gets a thank you from the mess maker. No request is made without a please.
It’s costs nothing and means everything.
I wouldn’t make a show of it. There’s really no need to constantly thank someone for being an adult and taking care of their space. I certainly would not thank them every single time they did a household chore, no. I am not the arbiter or sole caretaker of the home–there’s no reason for me to thank them for vacuuming or for mowing the lawn.
With that said, I know it’s nice to be thanked for things. I think I may thank my partner for dinner every time it’s their turn to cook. It’s not a big fawning production, just a standard “Thank you for a delicious dinner!” And certainly when they do a chore that is typically something that I do, I’ll thank them for taking care of it for me.
I usually do the laundry, which means I bring up their work clothes and set them out, and it does feel nice when they thank me for taking care of that, but I’d still do it even if they didn’t sometimes thank me for it, because that’s being an adult and living with someone I care about.
My husband does that constantly, so I try to remember to reciprocate. I find it a little annoying, honestly, but my endorsed feeling is that it is probably way healthier than getting into a habit of taking each other for granted, so.
My partner expected me to say thank you all the time. It drove me crazy. I felt I showed my gratitude but apparently he needed to hear it every SINGLE time. I know it is important to acknowledge and I do it without thought but felt it was forced instead of genuine when I was reminded to do it. I guess it just depends on the situation.
Yeah absolutely. Thanks and sorry are meant to be freely given out. I want to appreciate and be appreciated. It helps with keeping feeling like you’re taken for granted at bay.
I think it’s important to express gratitude! I try to say thank you for everything – when he pays for food, has me over, we have fun sex etc. Kindness and generosity should be a given in a relationship of course, but it’s easy to start taking things for granted.
We often say thank you to each other for these things. For us, it’s just natural to acknowledge that we each appreciate the other for their time and effort.
We do it all the time! In this house, we are polite, we show gratitude, and we haven’t stopped with the little niceties in 9 years of living together. It makes home more pleasant.
My husband and I have a well-defined chore split (i.e. he does all of the garden work, but I do all the laundry; if he cooks, I wash up, and so on), and we say thank you all the time – not because we need to be thanked for doing our part to keep the house running smoothly, but because it’s nice to acknowledge your partner and make them feel appreciated when they do something that benefits you both. That way, no one feels like they are being taken for granted or like their efforts are being overlooked, and we keep feeling grateful for having each other. Win-win!
It’s important. It’s also important for it to go both ways.
I thank my wife all of the time when she does little things for me, or does little things around the house that make it easier for us both. It’s simply showing my appreciation for her and her contributions to our home, and our marriage. She thanks me as well, and it definitely makes me feel appreciated and valued.
My husband and I both do this. We say “just gotta ring the bell!” to sort of indicate that the gratitude is implied but still needs to be said aloud. It’s just good communication at the end of the day.
Always! We always acknowledge each others efforts. It’s a simple way to show appreciation. I don’t take anything for granted and neither does he.
I say it every time because no matter how little or small it is, it’s still one less thing for me to have to do 🙌🏽
I say thank you to my wife often.
Not all the time, but sometimes, it’s nice, it’s recognition
I thank them for much smaller things than that. Its just polite and kind. I expect to be seen in my acts of service, too and I am 🙂
I would tell my ex thank you because I want him to know that I noticed what he had done while I was at work. I also appreciate the little things that people do in life.
Honestly, no, because basic chores are both our responsibility. If it’s something out of the norm, then yes.
Of course. He thanks me all the time for the things I do, why wouldn’t I thank him? Especially when he jumps on the dishes or a chore I hate doing. He scrubbed and cleaned out the tub and the jets last week, I 100% thanked him, I didn’t want to do that shit. I didn’t ask him to do it either. Household chores can suck sometimes, it’s nice to be appreciated. They have to get done, it’s just what people do, sure, but it’s nice when we thank each other.
Yes I say thank you, and I like getting thank you. Of course it’s a shared space and shared life but if someone does something for both thanking is a great thing. It’s the little things that make up like and can either support contentment or cause resentment.
I like expressing my gratitude to my man. And he does the same to me. We are full of “thank you” to each other all day long, we say it as frequently as we say “love you” to each other. Yes many of the things you’ve stated are common “expectations” but only benefit can come from expressing gratitude. It’s like injecting a little positivity into even the smallest of acts, which often we can so easily take for granted.
always. gratitude builds respect over time
Yes i say thank u. They arent obligated to do anything for me and im grateful
So I did this for a while for my hubs as my effort to get him more motivated to help around the house. I mean I did it for years but I finally realized he never reciprocates. I cook, clean, make all the medical appointments, handle the kid’s stuff like sports, school, trips, and homework and never once has he thanked me for any of it. I did mention I would like to be thanked every once in a while and got…crickets. So I stopped. Why thank him for doing the bare minimum? WHy thank him for doing things he would have to do whether he had a family or not? He takes out the garbage. Why thank him? Anyway, he also never seemed to notice that I stopped thanking him for every little thing.
I think it’s important to show appreciation regardless of what relationship you have. I don’t expect to be paid in kind, but it’s important to me that the people around me knows that I appreciate everything they do for me.
I’m used to doing everything myself so everything I don’t have to do is a very thankful moment.
Sometimes I’m a bit picky with things so I don’t mind taking on the chores so that I get it done the way I want to when it comes to romantic relationships. My exhusband and I had very different ideas of “clean” so I ended up doing all the cleaning. My fiancé and I align so it’s a huge relief that he can help me out with those chores too. I thank him all the time.
Oh absolutely! He took out the overflowing trash can? “Thanks for taking the trash out Babe.” He put away his tools that have been sitting out for a week? “Thanks for cleaning up the living room.”
He also thanks me for the little things. Him: “Thanks for washing the dishes Hun.”
HUGE! Men need validation and they appreciate it
We say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ all day, every day!
My husband and I always thank each other even if it’s just something like one of us going to grab something for the other. It’s not a conscious thing but I like to make sure my husband feels appreciated
depends on the he/him
I always thank you. Yes, it’s a chore that has to be done regardless, but I’m grateful he did it. So I say thanks. I thank him for washing the dishes, or cooking, or taking care of the cats, or grocery shopping. And he does the same for me. We are partners and work together to create a home. We are grateful for each other and I never want him to think I don’t appreciate him. It doesn’t cost me anything to say thanks.
Yeah of course. That’s normal healthy platitudes to show you’re paying attention to one another and show gratitude. Does have to be those exact words, but any acknowledgment of one another’s small gestures feels good. If he walks in the house while I’m cooking and says “that smells good” it genuinely warms my heart and I assume he feels the same when I reciprocate
Ofc we do thank each other. It’s the bare minimum isn’t it? In my case we both work outside and we are both tired at the end of the day but still we manage to make dinner for each other, wash dishes or any other house chore and we thank each other bc it’s taking care of one another and allowing your partner to rest and relax
Absolutely! When I cook dinner I want a thank you. Now, he doesn’t get a thank you when he folds his own clothes but if something needs to be done and he takes the initiative to do it then I say thank you. Everyone likes to have their work appreciate.
I wish my partner would… I even expressed that. They only say thank you if I make dinner, but I will clean the entire house with no thanks.
Saying thank you is so important in a relationship. Being grateful for what each other does is so important. It’s easy to take each other for granted.
We do that in our household, if my husband cooks dinner, I’d thank him for making us dinner that night or I were to do the laundry, he’d thank me for doing the laundry. To be honest, if I were to spend half my Sunday cleaning the house and the restrooms and he doesn’t thank me, I’d be quite upset. Haha
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I use to always say thank you… but for some reason my partner hates it. He says it reminds him of his mom and triggers guilt in him, which ai thought was weird. He sees it as manipulative so I dont say it to him…
It’s important to make people feel seen and appreciated so i do try to do this
No, feels much too formal. I prefer to show appreciation through actions in return rather than words.
We do.
We appreciate each other, each others tasks during the day. A simple “thank you for…..” is normal for us.
We do it everyday for small or big things. It’s a game changer for me. Same goes for saying sorry for little or big things too. It’s like a preventive system against resentment & huge fights over nothing. If we have a fight, we know it’s significant, and we can have a conflict without having to disarm the kitchen sinking effect.
Every day, multiple times a day. We’ve been together for 21 years now and a day doesn’t go past without both of us saying thank you to the other person many times.
Why wouldn’t you?
my husband and i thank each other for pretty much every little thing. if it’s something i’d have had to do if he wasn’t around, or it makes my life easier, or really any display of effort we thank each other. i would not want it any other way.
honestly the times ive seen couples have issue with thanking each other for basic tasks, it’s always a case of the division of labor not being evenly split or discussed and one or both parties hold a tonnn of resentment and negative feelings towards their partner about it. which makes it difficult and unappealing to show appreciation when deep down, they aren’t happy with the setup.
I think it’s nice.
For me it’s assumed that there should be a fair division of labour but I still say thank you as an acknowledgment of their effort and to show my appreciation, just the same as I would like to hear a ‘thank you’ if I cooked dinner for us or did some other household task. Not taking each other for granted goes a long way 😊
It makes me feel good so I do it to make others feel good.
100% important. It shows you notice and appreciate each other, even small stuff. Makes the relationship feel warmer.
We always say thank you and that we appreciate each other. Every time.
I think expressing gratitude is a good practice in general. In relationships, I think there is a mindset where when a partner handles some task so frequently the other sort of forgets it’s being done. (Out of sight, out of mind, so to speak.) It’s a trap you see married couples fall into, and then they start not realizing how much is on the other’s plate.
Expressing gratitude encourages you to be mindful of all those things.
I say thank you because I am thankful and it was. Kind thing to do.
But I also say thank you to model to my kids how we treat people. I say please and thank you to them too.
We do it all the time.
We always do. He says thank you when I cook, I say thank you when he puts the dishes away. And so on. It’s never wrong to show or say you appreciate what the other is doing.
My (late) husband and I always thanked each other and even now my kids say thank you every time we sit down to dinner. But what I really loved was that we also often would show the other when one of us did big chores or cleaned something especially dirty, kind of like a kids show and tell, and the person getting the tour would oooh and ahhh. It was silly but it made those hard tasks just a bit easier.
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We thank each other constantly for every little thing. We both really like it. It’s not an expectation and I’m never mad if he doesn’t thank me, but it comes really naturally to both of us.
Yes, I thank my husband.
He’s a househusband and we had definitely times when I didn’t appreciate all that he did enough, and it felt really bad for him, like all the effort he puts into the household go unnoticed and unseen. Like I took him for granted instead of being happy about him being there.
That’s why I started to definitely show my appreciation more and thank him for the things he does, same as he does when I did something.
I think if my husband did it, I might feel more like doing it for him. He’s like a learning puppy that needs constant attention and positive reinforcement, and always tell me when he does even the smallest thing, looking for me to praise him. If he gave me praise when I did super small things like that, then maybe I would want to do it more for him lol.
I always show appreciation/say thank you every time he does anything, we even thank each other after sex. Why? Because it maintains rapport and shows that we respect each other and each of our efforts to make each other’s life easier.
Thank yous are always warranted. It helps your partner not feel taken for granted and shows them you see and appreciate their effort.
I thank my husband for everything and he does the same. I can cook that man a grilled cheese and he will say thank you baby that was good. It’s just such a little sweetness. 33 years together and I love this part of our relationship.
My SO and I share cooking, and we always thank the other. We share other household tasks (he’s good at cleaning the toilet and I do the dusting); we don’t often notice but if we do it’s still a thanks. Why not?
I always say thank you, no matter what. It costs me nothing to show gratitude and acknowledgement, and it can go a long way in making someone feel noticed and valued. I want the people in my life to know I appreciate their efforts, and verbalizing that definitely helps lol
A little exhausting. We do dishes every single day, I don’t expect to be thanked, but he seems to thrive on it, so I make the effort to do it.
My husband and I thank each other multiple times a day, for doing things around the house, cooking, being awesome, etc. It helps us both feel appreciated and grateful.
I used with my ex. Felt right to show appreciation even though it was needed or his thing to do.
It’s sweet to do to one another.
It’s a sign of acknowledgment and appreciation. Very important.
I always say thank you. I wish he would thank me half as much as I thank him.
Cooks a meal; yes. Does a chore; no
I do this everyday. Whenever he opens doors, grabs me snacks or water. Even if he asks if I want something and I say no, I thank him for asking.
I think it shows a sign of gratitude for the small things your partner does.
We say thank you and please often. Just because we’re married and have responsibilities doesn’t mean we don’t have to be polite or grateful. Not every partner does there part, and I am thankful my husband does, so I let him know.
Please, thank you, and I love you, all keep our relationship on good terms imo.
I try to say it often, but when it becomes so often that it starts to lose meaning, I change it up. I’ll say “I appreciate you for doing this.” Or, if I haven’t said either in a while, I’ll stop him, look him in the eyes, and say “Hey, I haven’t said this in a while, but thank you for everything you’ve been doing lately. I see the effort you’ve been putting in and I appreciate it” or something to that effect.
I think it’s important generally in a relationship to express gratitude, but it’s especially important that I do it due to how I was raised. There was never any gratitude in my household growing up so I have to try extra hard to incorporate it.
We both thank each other all the time. Some casual- “Thanks for vacuuming the stairs!” and sometimes more robust- “Thank you so much for getting that task done that I hate doing/was dreading having to do.”
The gratitude is real for both of them, but it’s like the difference between a high five and a full on bro dap up & chest bump 😛
We both say thank you regularly, especially when the other takes on more than their fair share at times.
yes omg do it. make silly stupid games out of mundane chores. dishes and laundry literally never goddamn end so anything you can do to perk each other up and keep the chores getting done is good.
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The importance of showing gratitude and appreciation for your partner cannot be overstated. I think that when we start expecting people to care for us and take those little things for granted, we learn to cherish our partner less over time.
Yes…
I say thank you for way smaller things than those “small” things you mention so of course I’d thank him for the bigger ones.
I literally was thanking him for every single blueberry he fed me yesterday.
Why? I was raised to say please and thank yous.
I think it’s very important. It’s never a bad thing to show someone that you are seeing and appreciating what they are doing for you, otherwise you risk falling into complacency and taking them for granted which leads to them feeling unseen and unappreciated and resentful.
My partner and I thank each other sincerely for everything, since we never take one another for granted.
Ever.
Absolutely essential
I say it all the time. And so does he. He will load the dishwasher and I say thank you. I do laundry and he says thank you. We say it multiple times a day for every single chore. He grew up that way and I adopted it.
It’s a good thing, i would do it if i had a partner and i would want my partner to do it as well. I would not want to date someone who thinks they’re above saying “thank you”
Relationships fade when appreciation disappears. Even the tiniest ‘thanks’ is a reminder that effort is noticed
Everyone deserves appreciation for work, even if it is their job. I want to be thanked, so I thank others.
Words of affirmation is one of my love languages and I always try to express my appreciation when people do me favors. But when my efforts were not reciprocated, they died down. I wish I heard of those words when I was a SAHM. A simple “Thank you” would have done wonders. It would have saved my marriage.
Of course, I fucking would because I’m grateful and thankful for it. I say thank you when my cleaning lady cleans my house too, because even though it’s her job, and I pay her, I’m still grateful that she’s doing something for me.
Like why would you ever stop saying thank you?
I would highly recommend showing gratitude whenever possible to your partner.
in more ways that one, (especially when one goes out of their way for something), like little gifts, the other going out of their way more often, doing even more for the other back
Yes, because it’s nice to be appreciated and seen for the things you do and I like to make my partner feel nice too.
I say thank you, I’m mostly thanking him for doing something without me asking, not the task itself. I try to encourage that behaviour haha
I would. Because sharing the burden of day to day life makes a huge difference versus having to do all that on your own. And for that, I am thankful.
It absolutely matters. All the little things are very important to me. One of the first things I admired about my partner is how polite he was and continues to be! It definitely goes a long way plus it’s free 🙂
I would say thank you because I appreciate him taking time out of his day to help out. I want him to feel seen
He doesn’t like it because “I should already be doing it and it wasn’t anything crazy so why are you saying thank you”
I say it as a way to acknowledge that I have noticed and appreciate the thing he’s done, especially since I know he’s an “acts of service” person. He also thanks me for the things I do.
I’m extremely in favor of that. My parents thank each other for doing everyday chores, and my friends and I thank each other when we share a house during group vacations. Honestly, it feels good when someone thanks me for doing the dishes, even when it’s simply my turn to do them and I’m not going above and beyond. So I make sure to thank others when they do the dishes too.
We always say thank you to each other for doing a chore, no matter what. Its a group effort in making the mess so I am thankful he is cleaning up the mess I worked on making.
Good. Always. No big deal about it. It matters.
Yes, because it is a contribution to the household and appreciated.
We always say thank you. Always. Thank you for doing something so I didn’t have to. Thank you for doing something I normally do. Thank you for stepping up when I was too tired/sick/distracted.
It’s just common sense to nurture a warm and respectful vibe in our relationship.
I always say thank you. I don’t want him to feel unappreciated. I’m not going to throw a parade and bake a cake every time he dies the dishes but I appreciate not having to do it. Gratitude goes a long way in relationships. It sucks to feel unappreciated or not noticed.
I like it when my partner says thank you, it’s an acknowledgment of my time and effort put in. It’s not a competition to see who can do more or say thank you more, but it’s a small but effective way to show appreciation.
Bonus if there’s a kiss after saying thank you!
Why would I be less polite to a person I love in our own home than I would be to a stranger cleaning my hotel room?
What possible reason would you be using to excuse being mean and unappreciative??
Of course, I love them. And they love me! That means noticing and mentioning my gratitude when they do something for us and our space. Even if I don’t automatically notice, I say thank you as soon as it’s brought to my attention. It happens to me when I do those kinds of tasks too
That’s good manners. It reflects appreciation,love and respect for that special someone. Let this become a normal thing. Express your gratefulness in every way you can because in life, nothing is certain.
I do because it’s a quick and simple way to show my appreciation.
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I always thank my husband for doing stuff. Even the things he does daily (like feeding the dogs) or weekly. It’s positive reinforcement. It shows I don’t take him for grant it. It acknowledges his efforts. It takes something off my plate both physically and mentally. It lets him know I appreciate him and his efforts. It shows him what he is doing is useful (again, positive reinforcement.) I don’t make a big deal out of it, but I do feel it’s important to acknowledge.
We say thank you to each other all the time. He thanks me for doing laundry and cleaning every time. I thank him for cooking and taking care of the dogs.
I always say thank you. Why wouldn’t you? It doesn’t mean he’s doing me a favor or anything, it’s just showing appreciation for the work
I always say thank you. I want him to always know how much the little things matter.
Yes I would. I always say thank you
We absolutely say thank you for little things. We believe noticing and expressing gratitude is important for a strong and healthy relationship.
Both of us do this, and have for the 32 years we’ve been married. It hurts nothing and makes the other feel seen and appreciated.
My whole family does it. Makes us feel respected.
For me is unnecessary. I personally don’t want to be thanked for functioning and I don’t want to have to be thanking my partner for every single thing.
An act, big or small, should not go unnoticed or unappreciated. Nothing should ever be expected. That’s how you lose respect and gain entitlement. In a relationship, I didn’t realize how important it was for me… until I didn’t have it and I was about to lose my mind because of trying my hardest and not hearing ANYTHING.
Yes. We both say thank you to each other. It’s not really expected… it’s not all the time but it’s often. it’s just a way of communicating “I recognize that you do a lot for me and the family”. I personally enjoy that kind of communication. It keeps me humble and grateful and also makes me feel appreciated. But I don’t think it’s necessary in every relationship.